Abracadavre: Death is Magic
by WarGlory
Summary: James Potter was an important and loved member of Richtofen and Co's group, so when he and Lily died, it was a loss on them all. But when Richtofen and Co. find themselves in Hogwarts at Harry's 5th Year, they will do anything to help Harry through his hardships. Dumbledore!Bashing, No Pairing at the moment. *Warning: Slow Updates*
1. Prologue

Disclaimer-I do not own either Harry Potter or Call of Duty. The Harry Potter Universe is owned by JK Rowling, Call of Duty is owned by Infinity Ward, Activision, and others. If I did, then I would've already made a comic or movie crossover.

Prologue

 **Waterloo, Belgium, 2 AM, June 19, 1815**

It was early in the morning, yet still dark, the aftermath of a great battle, thousands of soldiers dead on both sides. Already, both sides had withdrawn from the battlefield, however many of the dead were left in the muddy fields...well...they were supposed to be dead.

A mass of creatures shamble across the field, all of them wearing either French, British, or Prussian Army attire. However, though you would think from a distance, these were not men.

These things, up close, though with a relatively humanoid shape and look, were decaying, with worms eating into their bodies, open wounds from shrapnel and bullets that most likely killed them, and skin and flesh rotting away, brown and mushy.

These were the undead, with possessed dead bodies and yellow glowing eyes, they had one objective in mind: feast upon the living. With a single bite, these things could turn you into one of them, into these horrid creatures, and they were everywhere, throughout history, and throughout the multiverse. But, did not stand (or whatever you would call it) unopposed.

On a hill, with the zombies just beneath them, stood 5 men. These 5 men looked odd for people of this time period, in fact 4/5 of them wore military attire nearly 130 years from the future. One wore the green attire of a US Marine, armed with a huge cannon like weapon.

Another man wore a yellow uniform of a Nazi Major General, with a rifle like weapon with bits and bobs sticking out.

Another wore the uniform of a soldier in the Red Army, with a sack on his back, holding what looked like a pistol.

And another wore the uniform of a Japanese Officer, though the lack of strange weapon made him stand out slightly, he clutched with both hands a Katana.

The last one was the most different from the rest. Instead of wearing the military attire of such an age, he wore a fedora, a relatively dirty and damaged striped suit, striped suit pants, and a tie, all dark purple. He had jet black hair and had hazel eyes. He wore round glasses and held in both hands 2 strange weapons that looked like giant knives with batteries in the middle of them.

"You ready lads?" The man in the fedora said in a British accent

"Alvays ecstatic for ze blood." The Nazi said in a thick German accent, smiling disturbingly

"There better be vodka after this, Tank, you're buying." The Russian said

"Shut the fuck up Nikolai, let's get this over with." The American replied

There was a sudden sound of _vwoops_ and other noises as some of the weapons lit up. All 5 men suddenly jumped down from the hill, into the mass of zombies, who were now shambling towards them.

 _One hour later_

The fields were covered with masses of now dead undead corpses, with the distinct smell of burning flesh. In the mass of bodies, stood the same 5 men, all looking, surprisingly, more peeved then exhausted. One of the men, the Russian known as Nikolai was searching the bodies, looking in their pockets and different bags.

"C'mon...i'm sure you're somewhere here..." Nikolai muttered to himself

"Nikolai, what the fuck are you doing?" The American known as Dempsey said, as he and the German known as Richtofen walked over to him.

"What do you think? I'm for looking vodka obviously..." Nikolai replied, still looking through the bodies.

"Nikolai, ve are in Belgium, ze possibility of finding vodka here i-" Richtofen started saying

"AHA!" Nikolai shouted out triumphantly, holding up a small bottle...or flask...it was hard to see in the dark, alright! "I have found you."

" _I stand corrected"_ Richtofen thought to himself, lightly glaring Nikolai as he started chugging from the bottle.

"Alright, you lads finished here? It's nearly dinner, and Lily will have our heads if we don't make it this time." The Englishman said

"Oh come on James, Lily can wait a little longer." Nikolai said, looking disappointingly at the now empty bottle, throwing it behind him.

"You said that the last time, remember? She nearly killed you with the frying pan." Replied James.

"Da, da, no need to remind me." Nikolai said, unconsciously rubbing his head.

James 'Prongs' Potter chuckled. It had started sometime earlier in 1980, he was a member of the Order of the Phoenix, fighting the Dark Lord known as Voldemort, and his army of Death Eater Followers ( _Ha, Death Eater, if they saw what real death was, they would throw up_ James thought to himself). He had just infiltrated what was supposed to be a Death Eater hideout, and that was when James met them...

 _Flashback (Not necessary to read)_

 _ **January 12th, 1980**_

 _ **Warehouse, Cardiff, England**_

 _James slowly walked in cautiously, wand in hand, looking around every corner. Wearing blue Auror robes, he and 6 Order Members were with him, investigating what was supposed to be an important Death Eater Compound. The other 6 were mainly Aurors whose allegiance was to the Order, and were under the command of James. Their mission was to scout out the compound, but it seemed to empty, and so James had decided to scout it out._

 _He had wanted to bring Sirius, Remus and Pettigrew with him, but Dumbledore had decided they were needed else where. Tell you the truth, James never really trusted Dumbledore, he seemed a bit too controlling, and willing to know everything by any means necessary. Luckily, his Occlumency was enough to keep his true thoughts on the supposed 'Leader of the Light" a secret. Back to the present, James looked around the dark warehouse. He muttered a quick 'lumos', the light shining from his wand, the other quickly followed suit._

" _Something isn't right, it's too quite." One of the Order Members said. James nodded while still looking forward. Death Eaters weren't exactly known for discretion, he had expected the whole warehouse to be lit up, Death Eaters partying about torturing a Muggle or something around that area. James shook his head. He felt disgusted at the Death Eater's Ideology of Pureblood supremacy, it felt wrong, and the fact his wife was a muggleborn might contribute to that. He hoped that after this war, perhaps, if they won anyways, that they could redraw the whole Wizarding World of the United Kingdom, the Ministry of Magic and the lot, and update to modern standards where everyone was equal._

 _However, he was quickly taken away from his thoughts, as he spotted something rush from the corner of his eye. He quickly turns in the direction, pointing his wand, feeling anxious. Suddenly, there's another movement, so fast James is barely able to see it, turning instantly towards the direction. The other Order Members did the same, some of the less experienced ones started to sweat nervously, eyes looking all around the place with panic._

" _Pull it together lads." James told the nervous looking Order Members"Let's check it out." Slowly, James and the other Order members walked further into the warehouse, covering every angle and direction, making sure nothing flanked them. The tension simply kept rising, what with the darkness, and the occasional sighting of a fast moving object from the corner of their eyes. Eventually, the stress was too great, as one of the Order members shouted "Fuck this, i'm getting out of here.", running in the general direction of the entrance. James attempted to shout to him to get back, when he heard several inhumane, demonic screeches and groans._

 _He then heard the Order member that had just ran screaming in panic, and saw the light from spells being discharged. It continued for a few seconds than...silence. James gulped heavily, before looking around, spotting something else. About 10 meters away from him, was what looked like a man, but not what he expected. The man looked slightly slumped, and his head looked left and right as if searching for a scent like an animal, he looked deathly pale from the back, but that wasn't the strangest thing._

 _He wore some sort of Black Muggle Military uniform, with a red armband with some sort of emblem...a swastika, which James barely recognised from this one book Lily had taken with her, something about a massive war in the Muggle world during Grindelwald's reign of terror in Magical Europe. He slowly walked over to the man. "You there, identify yourself." James said, his arm now shaking. At this point, he looked almost as pale as the man in front of him, with sweat all over his body, his uniform soaked. "Sir, I repeat, identify yourself." James repeated when the man didn't look back. Once again, the man didn't respond._

 _James was about to tap the man's shoulder, when the man suddenly turned around, causing him to jump back with a shout of shock. The man...or whatever it was looked horrifying. It had a a hole where it's heart should have been (it was only one sided, so you couldn't see it from the back), and it's skin looked rotten. It had bright, glowing yellow eyes, adding to the intimidation. Suddenly, the creature made a demonic screech, charging at James. James quickly sent a stunning spell at the creature, but it simply pushed the creature back slightly. James and soon the other members started rapid firing stunning and disarming spells at the creature, doing no damage as it simply kept walking towards them,_

 _Finally, James had enough, as he sent a banishing charm at the creature, sending it flying. James drew in a breath of relief, but this was short lived, as soon more creatures started limping or walking from the shadows. "What are they?" One of the aurors said. James looked closely, their whole movement, composition and appearance screamed out inferi, but he could tell they were different. "What ever they're, they're hostile, lethal force is authorised, put them down!" James shouted out, firing a severing charm at one of the creatures, decapitating it._

 _Soon, spells started flying towards all directions, however the creatures simply would not fall like a normal death eater. Speaking of Death Eaters, some of the creatures, instead of either wearing those strange muggle uniforms, or wearing muggle clothes, were actually wearing Death Eater Robes, and looked much more damaged, with bite marks and flesh missing everywhere. "Well we know what happened to the Death Eaters at the very least." James thought to himself, sending a blasting curse at another creature, it's guts spreading all over the place. One by one, however, they were slowly overwhelmed, as each Order member was picked off by the creatures._

 _Eventually, only James remained, firing curses everywhere in every direction like a madman, however he was already feeling exhausted, and his magical core barely had any energy left. "This is it, i'm going to die." James thought to himself, as he collapsed onto the ground. He saw the creatures slowly start to converge on him, and he closed his eyes, sorrow filling up in him for abandoning Lily and his friends, and the gruesome death he knew was approaching. However, instead of feeling the creatures pounce on him, he started hearing new sounds, like spells being sent but different, and sounds of flesh being burned, torn through, or sliced._

 _Smelling burning flesh, James slowly opened his eyes, seeing something he didn't expect. The masses of creatures were on the ground, dead. And in front of him, was the strangest group of people he'd seen, each of them wearing what looked like muggle military clothing. One of them was kneeling by him, his hand held out in offering. He wore a similar uniform to the creatures, with the swastika and all, except_

 _He wasn't undead_

 _His uniform was yellow_

 _James was reluctant at first, but then the man said "Come on, don't leave me hanging, I haven't got all day." James accepted the man's hand, pulling him up. He brushed some of the dust, grime and bits of flesh off his Auror uniform, and looked around the room, seeing the mass of dead bodies all over the place. "Who are you." James finally asked after a somewhat awkward silence. The man in the yellow uniform smiled. "Ah, I thought you'd never ask, my name is Doktor Edward Richtofen..." Richtofen said._

 _Back to the Present_

After that, James learnt all about Richtofen and his group. Apparently they were apart of some sort of mulitversal organisation, specifically tasked with taking care of these creatures called zombies, which were basically inferi but from muggle culture. At first James thought they were all bonkers, and were just some muggle maniacs.

But then he met the rest of the organisation, known as Group 935. Soon, he became convinced that this was a greater threat than even Voldemort, and decided to join their ranks. The fact that they went through time and space, and so a year would be a day in real time didn't hurt his decision.

So now he lived 2 lives, one as James Potter, member of the Order of the Phoenix, fighter against the forces of darkness. His mission, protect the wizarding world from the grasp of Voldemort and his forces.

And the other as James Potter, multiversal zombie exterminator. His mission, travel across time and space, and stop the zombies from taking over. He had over a decade's worth of experience (only a year in the real world), and became very proficient in both magical and muggle fighting.

Of course, he kept this secret, especially from that bastard Dumbledore, who knew what he would do to get his hands some of the things they had their (of course, he'd probably think it was just a bunch of muggle crap)

Finally, James woke up from his day dream as Richtofen tapped him on the shoulder. "I said zat ze teleporter is charged, let's go, unless you vant to shtay here?" Richtofen said, and pointing to what looked like a metal backpack

James shook his head, as he and the others put their hands on Richtofen, as Richtofen pressed a few buttons on his wrist band, and the group suddenly disappeared in a flash of light.

 **October 30th, 1981**

 **Godric's Hollow, West Country, England, Great Britain**

The group had just come back from headquarters, and were finally taking a break from the zombie hunting. They quickly teleported to James and Lily's current home in Godric's Hollow.

Though James thought that Potter Manor would've been safer because it had more extensive wards, Dumbledore thought that it would be safer to go to Godric's Hollow

But, he couldn't complain, the Fidelius Charm was one of the best ways of protection, it just made him feel so restricted for some reason.

Anyways, they teleported in front of their house as they walked in through the front door. On the left was a snug looking living room, with a fire place on the wall, a nice red and gold rug in the middle, a nice bright red couch opposite of the fireplace, and 2 seats on opposite sides of the rug.

On the right side of the room, stood the kitchen, with a counter and benches. Past the counter stood a nice marble table and cupboards, with anything you need to cook, like a fridge, stove, etc.

Finally at the end of the room were the stairs that lead to the bedrooms. James took off his fedora and wiped some dust off it, placing it on a coat stand. As soon as he walked 5 feet with the rest of the gang, Lily emerged from the kitchen.

"You arrived here just in time guys." Lily said as she walked over to James, giving him a quick peck on the lips. "I've just got the tea ready." Nikolai slumped onto one of the seats, while Richtofen sat on the other. Takeo simply stood around, looking around the nice home.

Dempsey sat on the couch along with James, all exhausted from their latest Zombie Hunting crusade. This was James's usual schedule, get up, report for duty in the Order, go on a mission, complete said mission, then when no one is looking, teleport to 935 to get his latest mission. Proceed to complete mission which might takes days (but will only seem like hours), get back home, no later then 8:30. And repeat.

Though it was tiring, he actually enjoyed his zombie hunting career, it was actually a lot of fun, and relieved him of a lot of stress from the real world. It was like a holiday, but with more work.

Although he regretted not bringing Lily with them on their trips. Lily was the only one who knew of his adventures, and had become good friends with the rest of the gang. He always wanted to bring Lily, but it was usually too dangerous, and it would be suspicious for both Lily and James to be missing for specific amounts of time.

Plus, she had to take care of the most recent addition to the Potter Family: Harry James Potter. Harry was a blessing to both of them, and they loved him dearly, and would do anything for him. However, he was apparently a candidate for this prophecy, which could result in Voldemort's Downfall.

Which is why they were currently staying in Godric's Hollow, keeping Harry safe. Soon Lily came back out of the kitchen, holding a platter with 6 mugs of tea. She gave one to Takeo, who responded with thanks, she then gave a mug to Nikolai (who promptly poured some vodka into it, making Lily shake her head) and one to Richtofen.

She soon gave James and Dempsey their mugs, before grabbing her own mug and sitting between the 2 of them on the couch, snuggling between the 2 men. "So, how was your latest trip." Lily finally said after a relatively comfortable silence, the only sounds being that of the wind brewing outside and several sips and slurps of tea.

"Oh, tiring as usual Lils, this time we went to Waterloo, bunch of turned soldiers there." James said, sipping on his tea. "Und zis time they had exceptional spleens...I must go back to 1815 when I can, examine vat makes zem so...tender..." Richtofen said with a wide smile.

Everyone stared at Richtofen. Richtofen simply shrugged and sipped more of his tea. Lily rolled her eyes, as they landed on Nikolai. "Hey Nikolai, how is it your liver hasn't failed from that much alcohol consumption?" Lily asked Nikolai, seeing Nikolai pour another shot of vodka into the tea.

"Not just alcohol Lily...vodka! Aaaaaand...i'm not sure, don't talk to me about that shit, ask Richtofen, he's the Doctor." Nikolai replied, looking at Richtofen. "Vat? I'm not zat type of doktor! Vell...at least not anymore..." Richtofen said.

"Richtofen, one of these days you must leave such a path, it is most dishonourable." Takeo said, after being quite throughout the entire conversation. Richtofen was about to retort (something about a stupid Chinese man), when there was a sound of crying from upstairs.

"Damn, I forgot to check on Harry, wait here James, i'll take care of him..." Lily said. "No Lils, for once i'll go and take care of him, Richtofen, you coming?" James said, sitting up from the couch.

Richtofen excitedly clapped his hands like a little girl, with a smile that looked like a 5 year old boy getting candy. "Of course, come on, let's go, race you!" Richtofen said, running up the stairs. James shook his head with an amused smile.

Richtofen had always been fond of Harry, and usually couldn't wait to meet him again at any possible time. "See you later Lils, got to stop Eddie from teaching Harry how to develop weapons of mass destruction." James said with a smile, jogging after Richtofen.

 **Harry's Room, Potter Residence, Godric's Hollow**

James walked into Harry's room, finding Richtofen cradling him in his arm, telling him a story. James seemed happy, until he was finally close enough to hear what Richtofen was saying. "Und stumpy vas rude to ze doktor, so stumpy paid ze price...und ven I mean ze price, I mean I sliced stumpy's head open, und ate his brain." Richtofen said, looking down at Harry.

Harry giggled, muttering 'stumpy'. James rushed towards Richtofen. "Eddie, that's enough, I don't need Harry turning into another murderous psychopath." James said with an unamused expression. "Ssshhhh, I just got him to go to sleep." Richtofen whispered to James.

Slowly, Richtofen returned Harry to his cradle, with Harry seeming oblivious to everything, without a care in the world. Both men looked at Harry with happiness.

Though James seemed a bit jealous. _"Damn babies, always so oblivious to everything around them, such a bliss that I wish I possessed."_ James thought to himself. They started at Harry for a few seconds longer, before the peace was interrupted by Richtofen.

"So, vat do you plan to do after zis var?" Richtofen asked James. This was something James, too, always thought to himself.

"Well...not very sure, perhaps move back the the manor, raise Harry, get a few more kids even, explore the world, perhaps even learn muggle stuff, I heard that they traveled to space once, and that they had recorded it on their own versions of pensives." James said.

Richtofen chuckled, one of the things Richtofen always found amusing was the naiveness of most Pureblood wizards, or wizards in general, being completely oblivious to what was happening outside their little community, thinking themselves all powerful because they can wave their wands all around the place.

" _Jaaa...that sounded better in my head."_ Richtofen thought to himself, scrunching his face in disgust at the image that had just popped to mind. "But what if you don't win the war?" Richtofen asked.

James sighed. "Well, usually, we would probably either flee to another country, or perhaps start an underground resistance, but if the war was completely lost..." James paused. This was an outcome that he hoped never came. "I guess...perhaps I could work for 935 full time, bring Harry and Lily with me, it'd be interesting."

Richtofen frowned. One of the things he always feared was James retiring and never meeting them again, stopping those adventures that seemed such a big part of their lives. But, he knew that such a life was what James wanted, and he respected that. Hey, maybe they could visit during their times off. "For ze sake of your life und Harry's sanity, I pray zat it never happens." Richtofen said

Both laughed quietly. After wiping an imaginary tear away, James once again turned to Richtofen. "But, Richtofen, I know this might be too much to ask, but I need to ask a favour." James asked Richtofen.

"You see, if I were to di-" James started. "Don't even consider that a possibility James." Richtofen quietly snapped back. "I know, I know, but...if that were ever to happen...I need someone to look over Harry...and though I trust Sirius and Remus and Peter...well, maybe not Peter, I think he will need some additional protection...can I rely on your Eddie?" James said

Richtofen was shocked, no one had ever asked him to do something this important before. Everyone always thought that Richtofen was the unreliable, insane maniac, but secretly he always wanted to prove them wrong. This was his chance.

"I...don't know, what about ze ozers?" Richtofen finally replied. James sighed "Dempsey is too temperamental, Takeo is just down right boring, and i'm not even going to think about what Nikolai will do to Harry, plus, you're my best mate Eddie, you're fun, caring, i've seen that soft side of you, you're perfect. So, will you?" James said.

Richtofen thought for a moment, before replying "Of course James." James smiled. "Thanks mate, I owe you one." James said. James started walking out of the room. "You coming Eddie?"

"Erm...just give me a second." Richtofen replied. James shrugged and walked back down the stairs. Richtofen proceeded to look around the room, making sure no one was there, then walked over to Harry, who looked so peaceful.

"Hey Harry...so, how have you been?...vell i've been fine in case you ver curious, heh." Richtofen said.

Richtofen took out what looked like a necklace, it was a steel chain, and had the logo of 935, as well as what looked like a button on the top. "Here, zis is a long range multiversal distress beacon, so if you're ever in trouble, you could press this, und I vill come und help you!" Richtofen said as he put the necklace around Harry's neck.

"Think of it as a late birthday present...for missing your last 2 birthdays...I should probably get you something else, but i'll do zat later." Richtofen said, kissing Harry on the forehead. Slowly, Harry intertwined his fingers with the logo, hugging it to himself.

" _Ah, he already likes it_ " Richtofen thought to himself. He proceeded to slowly walk out of the room. Walking down the stairs, he found James had taken off his suit and tie, leaving a white buttoned shirt. "Hey guys, I have an announcement to make." James said.

Everyone immediately turned to James. "Look guys, though I love killing zombies and teleporting across space and time to kill them, sometimes it get's a bit out of hand, plus, with the past year, or ten years in term of multiversal time, i'm exhausted." James said "Which is why, i'm taking a break, no more zombies, no 935, none of that for a bit, just me, my wife, and Harry, for at least a week."

The others groaned in disappointment. Among the group, James was the least motivated of the group, and he preferred to stay in real time for sometime on these occasional breaks, making him miss many of the fun times they have.

But, they were friends, so they allowed it, and they were happy. "Listen bub, we're all friends here, and we respect your decisions, but don't go whining to us when you slowly die of boredom." Dempsey said with a smile, punching James on the shoulder.

"Da comrade, take your time, no pressure, just get that vodka ready when we come to visit." Nikolai said, throwing his now empty mug behind him. "Family is important as much as everything else, remember that." Takeo said.

"Vell, ve have to go, I vill talk to Director Maxis about your break, i'm sure he'll allow it." Richtofen said, putting his hand on James's shoulder, and then putting his hat on.

"You guys should come for dinner tomorrow, we're inviting Sirius and the others." Lily said. Richtofen smiled as he opened the door. "Don't vorry, we'll be zere, see you until zen." Richtofen said, putting on his teleporter.

Soon, the group walked out, and teleported back to base, feeling excited for the dinner. Little did they know this was the last time they would see James or Lily Potter alive...

Author's Notes: Well this took sometime to type...anyways, hello to anyone who actually reads this! This will be the first fanfiction I have EVER written, and I hope it seems satisfactory. You see, this is a crossover i've always wanted, and I went "Screw it, i'm going to type it" and I don't care of what people think.

How this fanfic will go will depend on:

A) How much time I have

B) How much my motivation will last

I'm simply typing this for fun, i'd feel lucky to even have 50 favourites, or even that number of views. Anyways, I hope that this series goes well, cyu later!


	2. Chapter 1: Hello Harry, i'm ze Doktor!

Disclaimer-I do not own Harry Potter or Call of Duty. The Harry Potter Universe is owned by JK Rowling, and the Call of Duty Series is owned by Infinity Ward, Activision, and others. If I did, then I would've already made a comic or movie crossover.

 **A/N** : MY GOD, i'm so sorry this chapter got out so late, I was meaning to get it out a few weeks ago, but then a string of bad luck happened, which mainly happened in this order:

I had to attend a funeral service

I had to go to a charity service

I got horribly sick

My laptop stopped working for about 2 weeks, and I only recently got it back

And then I got a small case of writer's block/inspiring myself for other stories in mind

So please forgive me, and if you want to know how exactly this story will progress, check the Author Notes at the end. Also, a cookie to those who can spot the references in this story and who they're pointed to.

* * *

 **Little Whinging Park, Little Whinging, Surrey, July 1st, 1988**

Harry was in the park and was hiding from Dudley and his gang: As usual. His current hiding place was a bush in the middle of the park, after barely being able to outrun Dudley and his gang (well, outrunning Dudley was easy enough, that obese bastard). It was late at night, and everything seemed peaceful, unless you counted Harry's mind and Dudley's gang searching everywhere. Ever since that infernal game named 'Harry Hunting' was invented, Harry's daily life quickly went from very bad to horrible.

At first, he couldn't understand why he was treated in such a horrid way, basically becoming a slave, being punished for having better grades then Dudders (heh, Dudders), being blamed for everything, getting called a _freak_ (that one especially hurt).

However, this had been going on for many years now, and Harry simply had to deal with the reality: Everyone hated him, and he had no one left. Especially since his parents had supposedly died in a car crash (that's what everyone tells him anyways). Not only was his life hell, but so were his living conditions, living in a cupboard under the stairs, barely having enough food to live.

Even his clothes were a disgrace. Looking down, he wore an oversized white T-shirt and large jeans, second-hand clothes from Dudley. The only thing that didn't seem absolutely ragged was the strange necklace with that strange symbol attached to it, which he held onto as if his life depended on it. The necklace was the only thing from Harry's past, supposedly some sort of gift from an uncle or something...he barely remembered anything that early on.

However, it was all he had that reminded him of his parents, and it was his most prized, possessions, he had so far managed to save it from being burned or thrown away like his other meager possessions. He just wished that one day, perhaps whoever had given him this necklace (if they were still alive) just came and saved him from this hell.

Suddenly, there was a rustle, as Harry felt himself being forcefully pulled out from his hiding spot, and thrown onto the cold, rough, gravel walkway. Adjusting has glasses, he looked up, finding himself being towered over by Dudley Dursley and Pierrs Polkiss. Dudley looked as obese as ever, fat and chubby. Pierrs looked almost the opposite, thin and rat faced. Still, they both towered over Harry, who was shorter than usual children.

"Well, well, look who we have here." Dudley said. He proceeded to then kick Harry in the stomach, making Harry clutch his stomach in pain. "Hey, guys! I've found him!" Pierrs said. Suddenly, the gang was upon him, kicking and punching him everywhere.

 _This is going to add a few more bruises_ Harry thought to himself. Suddenly, a sickening crack was heard as Dudley kicked him in the ribs. _Make that a broken bone too_ Harry thought, just barely keeping consciousness.

He had to endure this again and again, to the point where he practically couldn't feel anymore...well he could, but you get the point. For some reason, Dudley and his gang stopped. "What's this then?" Dudley said. Suddenly, he opened his eyes, seeing Dudley holding the necklace. He put his hand on his throat, and found that it had somehow escaped from his neck.

Harry stands up "Dudley, give that back." Harry said firmly. Surprised by the newly found confidence in Harry for only a second, Dudley proceeded to punch Harry in the face (damn he had a good hook), making Harry collapse backward.

"Freaks like you don't deserve things like these, I don't even think it was yours, stole it did you?" Dudley said, playing with it. "And what's this then? 935? What? 935 times freakier than the usual freak?" The comment would've made Harry gag at how pathetic the insult was if not for the fact his worst enemy was currently holding his most prized possession.

"Give it back Dudley!" Harry said in a more firm voice, standing up. "Or what?" Dudley replied smugly. Suddenly, Harry pounced on Dudley, punching him with his small fists. However, the punches Harry did were pathetic but were enough to give Dudley a bloody nose.

Dudley's Gang promptly lifted Harry off Dudley after the initial shock. Dudley wiped some of the blood off his face, and then looked at Harry with an extremely angry expression. "You're going to pay for that freak!" Dudley screamed, promptly dropping the necklace and started to punch Harry continuously while he was still being held up.

Pierrs walked over to the necklace and picked it up, examining it. He looked closely to see 2 buttons, one on the top and one on the bottom. "Wonder what this button does." Pierrs said. Pierrs proceeded to get 2 of his fingers and pressed both buttons.

Suddenly, the symbol started to rotate, and gradually increased in speed to the point where it looked like a blur. "Awsome!" Pierrs said. However, the others were too distracted beating up Harry to hear Pierrs. Suddenly, the symbol started to blink red, and make beeping noises.

"What?" Pierrs whispered. Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light, and everyone was distracted by it. Out of nowhere, a strange man wearing a yellow uniform, a metal backpack, and some sort of weird gun, appeared.

"Vas? Zis doesn't look like danger." The man said in a heavily German-accented English. The man looked behind him, looking at the boys. He had light blue eyes and blonde hair, and his pale skin featured several scars.

"Mein Gott, how far in ze future am I? Vill ze Catholic Church ever stop viz zis tradition, Gott Im Himmel, it's even spread to children." The man muttered. Suddenly, the man made an unnaturally wide and creepy smile.

"Guten Tag! I'm ze Doktor! I am looking for van Harry James Potter, messy black hair, green eyes, should be about 8 at zis point." The man said.

Harry could only think of one word right now: _what?_

 **Earlier, 1985, Hill Valley, California, USA, Delorean Universal Sector**

Zombies limped through the streets a peaceful suburban area at night. Many were wearing the clothes of the usual teenager at that time, which made for a pretty weird crowd. 935 still couldn't decide whether it was the stupidity of some teenagers to play with a zombie which had been deployed there, or that the clothes were just for fun. Either way, they were there, and they were going to face hell all over again.

Suddenly, about ten of the zombies in the crowd or struck down by a bolt of lightning, frying through them. The Doktor looked smugly at his work.

"VAN POINT TWENTY VAN GIGOVATTS!" Richtofen screamed out, proceeding to laugh maniacally. The zombies spotted him, and started to charge at the lone Nazi.

The rest of the gang quickly appeared, closing down upon the mass of the undead. "Why the fuck are we even here? I thought White haired doctor and orange vest has this sector locked down!" Nikolai said, blowing up a zombie's head with his ray gun, and then stabbing another in the head with a broken bottle.

"Ya? Well apparently they got themselves stuck somewhere in time, that means we have to fill in for fucking Chicken Boy." Dempsey shouted, blasting away a mass of zombies with his Thundergun, and kicking away a zombie that nearly got close, grabbing out his M1911 Colt and shooting the zombie dead.

"Ja, vat are you complaining about? It just means more fun for us!" Richtofen shouted, killing another mass with his DG2, as Takeo decapitated a zombie behind him with his katana.

An hour later, the entire horde was eliminated, as rotting corpses littered the streets. "Ha, look at this one, he was disarmed!" Nikolai said, pointing at an armless corpse while laughing at his own joke. "Cut it out Nikolai." Dempsey said, hitting Nikolai on the back of the head.

Nikolai rubbed the back of his head. "Heh, funny, this is usually when James is supposed to to tell you to play nice." Nikolai said with slight melancholy. Everyone stood together in silence. Though to the Wizarding World it had been years, it had been months for the group (Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey, it's confusing whether it's longer or shorter). They still remembered that faithful night when they saw the horrid sight.

 _Flashback_

 _ **October 31st, 1981**_

 _ **Godric's Hollow, West Country, England, Great Britain**_

 _Richtofen and Co. had just finished with a nasty business in Egypt where they had to dispatch some mummies (hey, they were also undead, close enough), but they were soon free from work for a bit, and decided to go join that dinner party with Jamesa and Lily. They teleported at the front of the house. "We're here!" Richtofen shouted cheerfully._

 _But strangely enough, nobody answered, in fact the whole house looked desolate and abandoned, there was even a large hole on the roof. "Wait, how fucking far did we go this time Richtofen?" Dempsey said angrily._

" _Nein, zis isn't right..." Richtofen muttered, tapping his wrist control._

" _Damn right it isn't now get us to the correct fucking time!" Dempsey said._

" _Nein, I mean zis doesn't seem right, ve are in ze correct time, see! October 31st, 1981." Richtofen replied, looking perplexed._

" _But...what happened?" Takeo asked._

" _I'm not sure, everyone, get ready, something strange is happening...and for once I'm not zat excited for it." Richtofen said, pulling out his DG2 this time with a serious face, which with a man like Richtofen was rare._

 _Soon the rest of the group got their arms ready, and walked into the house, the door was unlocked so it was easy to get in._

 _Which made Richtofen all the more nervous. As he entered, he saw that the entire room seemed ravaged, and it was dark...too dark. "Let's check upstairs." Richtofen said. They slowly approached the stairs._

" _JAMES? LILY? ARE YOU ZERE?" Richtofen shouted. Silence. "POTTER, ZIS IS NOT FU..." Richtofen shouted again_

 _His sentence was halted by what he saw in front of him. He saw a corpse, and as he slowly approached up the stairs, he prayed to any God that still listened to him that the body wasn't what he thought it was. But, either religion is a lie, there was no answer, or no God was willing to listen anymore, for as he came closer, he soon identified the body to be James Potter, former Zombie Hunter._

 _Richtofen suddenly felt another piece of his sanity fall away as he saw his best friend laying on the ground dead. He felt his eyes tearing up, something that had not happened since...well as long as he remembered._

" _Richtofen, what the hell are you looking a-...oh shit." Dempsey said, running over to James's Body, putting a finger over his neck. "Dead." Dempsey said sadly._

 _Everyone simply looked at James's body, until there was a pop as Nikolai took off the cap to a bottle of vodka, only for it to be snatched away by Dempsey and angrily thrown into a wall, shattering it into pieces._

" _Hey! What the fuck was that for?" Nikolai screamed._

" _What the fuck was that for? One of our best friends is lying dead in front of us and all you can think about is fucking vodka?" Dempsey replied angrily._

" _Fuck you! Is tradition to drink for the dead!" Nikolai retorted._

" _Traditional? What you have done is dishonourable!" Takeo said in a surprisingly angry voice, which was unlike the normally reserved Japanese Officer._

" _Your honour can go stick itself up the Emperor's A-" Nikolai started shouting_

 _Richtofen was not listening to the heated argument at all, as he simply felt extremely sad: and he didn't like it one bit. Suddenly, Richtofen remembered something else._

" _Where's Harry?" Richtofen thought. Richtofen suddenly ran up the stairs, ignoring the cries of the rest of his team as to where he was going. As he entered the room, he saw 2 more terrifying sights: Lily's Dead Body, but more importantly (not to sound cold hearted) the crib where Harry was supposed to be. Richtofen started biting on his fist as his eyes started to tear up, and started making sobbing noises._

" _I'm so sorry James, I failed you and Lily." He thought as he broke down crying. At first he thought perhaps he could track Harry with the beacon, but then he remembered how it was only one way, and could only be tracked if turned on (sort of a fault in the system, but no one bothered to fix it). Dempsey, Nikolai and Takeo ran into the room, seeing Lily's dead body and Richtofen curled into a ball, rocking back and forth while crying, which was an EXTREMELY rare sight._

 _For a few minutes the rest of the group simply stood around in silence, the melancholy atmosphere so thick you could slice through it with a knife. Suddenly, there were several pop noises, as everyone, including Richtofen, looked around. "Shit, the detection wards must've still been active." Dempsey cursed, picking up his Thundergun._

 _Richtofen had just gathered himself and picked up his DG2 when the door to the room was suddenly blown off. "AUROR CORP, SURRENDER!" The lead Auror said gruffly, a strange man with a peg leg, a strange eye, and practically rag clothes._

 _Richtofen was furious, with the deaths of 2 of his best friend, the loss of someone he swore to protect, and the jerks who had decided to disrupt this moment of peaceful respect. He had to take out this new found anger on someone, and he had just found his targets. Quickly he charged into the peg leg man, kicking him in the stomach before he could mutter a spell. Soon, he was upon the other wizards and witches, showing no mercy, crushing someone's head in with the butt of his DG2 and then slicing the neck of another with a knife he had, watching as the wizard drowned in his own blood._

 _As Richtofen shredded through the crowd, Dempsey and the others simply followed with some awe. "I've never seen Richtofen this angry before." Nikolai said, casually hitting one of the downed Aurors on the head with a vodka bottle, rendering the man unconscious._

" _Ya, he's actually sort of...scary now." Dempsey said, wincing as he saw Richtofen break a witch's neck._

" _Sometimes, it is better to release the sorrow, rather then keep it in." Takeo said in a calm voice. Suddenly, the peg legged auror stood up, firing a red spell at Takeo. Takeo reacted with lightning speed, drawing out his katana and deflecting the shot, then rushing over to the man, cutting off his peg leg. "Agh, you bastard!" The formerly peg legged now Peg Legless man said, clutching his now peg legless peg leg. Takeo swiftly stomped the peg legless peg leg man on the face, knocking the peg leg-(I'm gonna stop talking now) unconscious with a bloody nose._

 _Meanwhile, Richtofen was downstairs, in which there were now bodies littering the ground, whether dead or wounded, Richtofen didn't exactly know, nor did he count._

" _So, what now?" Dempsey asked Richtofen. Richtofen looked around._

" _Now...we have to send the news to Director Maxis, he must know of Hunter James Potter's recent passing." Richtofen said sadly. He soon started clicking buttons on his wrist as the rest of the team held on to him. They teleported just as an old looking wizard with the stereotypical wizard look, beard, hat and all, arrived after receiving a Patronus from an Order Member, something about a mad German Muggle slaughtering them._

 _Back to the Present_

The group stood in silence. The pain of James and Lily's Deaths, along with the disappearance of young Harry was still fresh. When they reported it to Director Ludvig Maxis (Director of 935), a commemoration was set up for them. Some volunteered to replace James in the group, but Richtofen and Co. all agreed that quote: "No one can ever replace someone like James."

"Well...we have a job to do guys, let's go." Dempsey finally said, standing up.

"Heh, these punk kids have no vodka, damn Capitalists." Nikolai muttered, removing an axe from a corpse's head, in a way trying to lighten the mood.

Takeo started walking when he saw Richtofen behind him. "Richtofen, are you coming?" Takeo asked Richtofen, who was sitting down, looking sad.

"Ja, ja, just give me some time..." Richtofen said. Takeo nodded, and started to walk away. Among them all, Richtofen was arguably the one who was hit the hardest. To Richtofen, James had been like a brother and Harry someone he would consider his own blood...actually, bad comparison, Richtofen would have no problem killing his own blood.

Richtofen was about to join the others when he suddenly heard a series of beeps on his wrist. He looked shocked. _"No, it can't be..."_ Richtofen thought to himself. That part of his wrist was linked to alert him of any distress signals which he had sent out, but he had only ever given one distress beacon before, which meant...

"Harry's alive!" Richtofen realized. He felt like he could jump up and start dancing when he remembered. If the distress beacon was on, that must've meant that Harry was in distress, and if Harry was in distress, this means he could be...

"Nein, I am not losing you again!" Richtofen said determinedly. He quickly pressed a few buttons, linking him to Harry's location, and then activated, disappearing in a bright light.

 **Little Whinging Park, Little Whinging, Surrey, July 1st, 1988**

Richtofen appeared, arms at the ready, determined to save Harry from any danger. What he saw was not what he expected (then again, what Richtofen usually expects includes a giant tentacle spleen monster and a bunch of anime ponies). Instead of danger, he found himself in a peaceful night, in a peaceful park. It was so...dull.

"Vas? Zis doesn't look like danger." Richtofen muttered.

Richtofen turned around, seeing a bunch of kids, one of them being held up, with slightly torn clothes, which gave Richtofen the wrong message.

"Mein Gott! How far in ze future am I? Vill ze Catholic Church stops viz zis tradition? Gott Im Himmel! It's even spread to children." Richtofen muttered, checking his wrist control. _"1988, seems about right."_ Richtofen thought to himself.

Richtofen then made his trademark smile, which made all the children either take a step back or flinch. "Guten Tag! I'm ze Doktor! I'm looking for van Harry James Potter, messy black hair, green eyes, should be about 8 at zis point." Richtofen said.

For some reason the entire group looked at Richtofen with either shock or surprise. "Vell..." Richtofen said slowly, making hand gestures. Richtofen walked up to one of the fat boys, who instantly flinched back. "Are you Harry? I hope you're not Harry, you remind me of zis van fat Russian I know, he's name is Nikolai, he's a drunk fat ass, I met him ven I removed his spleen, he still doesn't know zat." Richtofen started saying.

"I'm...i'm...i'm not Harry, he is." Dudley said, pointing at Harry who at this point had been dropped on the ground.

Richtofen instantly walked over to Harry, who flinched when Richtofen kneeled beside him. "So you're Harry, last time I saw you vas a couple of months ago...or was it years, I can never tell, anyways, you were just a small boy back zen, when I gave you zat beacon, I hope you liked it!" Richtofen said.

Harry sat wide-eyed, realising that this was the man that gave him the necklace, and tell you the truth he was not what he was expecting at all. He had expected to see a nice elderly man with a warm heart, and cared for him (well, that was always Harry's fantasy for a relative), instead he was a middle aged hyperactive, talkative maniac, perhaps even insane. _"Anything's better then the Dursley's."_ Harry thought to himself.

"Even zen, i'm not sure your parents appreciated me too much, filling your head vis supposed serial killer traits, turning you into mein own insane apprentice, but, I regret nothing." Richtofen continued to say.

"You knew my parents?" Harry finally croaked out.

"Vat? Vat type of question is zat, of course I knew your parents, we were best friends, and your father, he was great at his profession." Richtofen replied.

"What...what was his job?" Harry asked curiously.

"Erm...i'll talk to you about zat later, but right now." Richtofen said, standing up. "Vat are you all doing here? Are you he's freunds? Harry, really, you have to get better people, everyone here looks like an idiot!"

"Why would we be friends with that freak!" One of the children said.

"Vell I vould expect becau-...vat did you just say?" Richtofen said in a now more serious voice.

"Freak! And what are you? The freak's babysitter?" Dudley said in a mocking voice.

"Freak...freak?" Richtofen muttered to himself.

Memories started to pile in

" _You're a freak Richtofen!"_

" _I should've never followed you, you freak!"_

" _Take your freakish insanity and get the hell away from here!"_

" _Go back to the freak town you belong in, Jerry!"_

" _Your people are freaks, and you should've never been born!"_

Richtofen's eyes seemed to change to a darker colour

Suddenly, Richtofen lashed out, kicking the face of one of the bullies, and then hooking another. He proceeded to get one of the downed bullies, and threw him at another one, knocking both of them unconscious. One of the other bullies took a step back, but was quickly caught by Richtofen and kicked in the nuts, and was then thrown in the other direction.

Dudley was next on Richtofen's list, as he pulled out a knife and attempted to stab Dudley, he promptly grabbed Pierrs and put him in the way instead, the blade contacting with the boy's arm. Pierrs shrieked out in pain, and was then rendered unconscious as Richtofen punched him in the stomach, and then uppercut him.

Dudley attempted to make a run for it, running as fast as his little legs could bring him, until Richtofen took out his pistol (not caring if anyone heard) and fired, hitting Dudley in the leg, making him collapse. When Richtofen got to him, he could already smell the huge amounts of urine being excreted from the boy.

"P-p-please...m-mercy." Dudley stuttered.

"...mmm...nah." Richtofen said as he pulled out his dagger, making Dudley promptly faint.

Richtofen smirked, and then walked away from Dudley back to Harry.

" _Well that escalated quickly."_ Harry thought to himself. Richotfen got to Harry, making Harry crawl slightly back, fear from what Richtofen was going to do next.

Richtofen reached out his hand, offering it to Harry, making Harry confused. They stayed in that for position for about a minute.

"Vell, come on, I don't have all day." Richtofen said

Cautiously Harry, reached out his own hand, which Richtofen clutched and helped Harry up. "Vell, zat was nice, vasn't it." Richtofen said with a once again joyful tune.

"Nice? But you nearly killed them!" Harry said, surprised by how easy Richtofen seemed to be taking this.

"Ja, but do you actually feel bad for zem?" Richtofen asked Harry. Harry looked around, and promptly shook his head.

"Vell, zat answers your question." Richtofen said, sliding his dagger back into his belt. "So, how are you Harry, how's life been? Actually, nein, don't answer zat, from vat I see around me it seems like hell."

Harry sighed. "Ya, your right about that, but who exactly are you, I mean, my father's friend sure, but, who exactly are you?" Harry asked Richtofen.

"Vat are mein manners! My name is Doktor Edward Richtofen, of Group 935 Multiversal Undead Hunters, you're father vas one of our best men." Richtofen said. "Und he was a dear freund, in fact he was a member of mein group before he...vell...croaked."

Harry slowly nodded, barely getting the outline. "Okay, so you were best friends with my dad, and you're...what exactly?" Harry said. Harry didn't know why he felt so calm with Richtofen. I mean, he should be running for his life right now with what he just did (running probably wouldn't help, ask Dudley), but he just felt so...safe and familiar to him, as if he knew him his entire life.

"Is is really zat hard to understand?" Muttered to himself angrily. "Okay, ve are un-dead-hunt-ers, ve hunt ze undead, you know, zombies and such...though ze job as evolved quite a bit in recent years...or vas it months." Richtofen said, starting to mutter to himself.

"Zombies? But zombies aren't real!" Harry exclaimed

"Nicht, zey are, I could show you but it's against regulation...plus, I just found you, and I don't want to see you get eaten in front of me." Richtofen said. Tell you the truth, Richtofen was enjoying this conversation, since Harry was talking to him like an actual person, instead of saying _fuck you_ and _go away_ , etc etc.

Harry couldn't believe how smoothly and easily he said that statement as if had seen it like a regular daily occurrence (then again, anything is possible).

They both stood there for a few minutes.

"Vell, vat are you doing out here, ve should bring you home!" Richtofen finally said. Harry seemed to have a moment of panic. "Oh no, oh no, no, no, they're going to kill me." Harry moaned, covering his eyes with his hands.

"Vat's wrong Harry?" Richtofen asked with a concerned look.

"You beat up Dudley! Not only that, you nearly KILLED him, and now they're going to get mad and horrible things are going to happen and, oh God..." Harry muttered to himself.

"Voah, voah, voah, hold up zere, no van is going to do anyzing to you Harry." Richtofen said, awkwardly hugging a now sniffing Harry.

"Well...it's ok I guess...the worst they can do is stuff me in that cupboard and starve me for another week..." Harry muttered to himself.

Richtofen paused. "Vat vas zat?" Richtofen asked Harry. "Nothing, it's nothing..." Harry replied. "Harry, please tell me, I promise I von't do anyzing bad...vell as bad...you know vat, just go viz blind trust." Richtofen said.

Harry sighed. "They...sorta make me live in a cupboard under the stairs, and occasionally...starve me." Harry said. "Tell me freaks like me don't deserve normal stuff...that I should be more grateful...whatever that means." Harry whispered quietly.

Apperantly not quietly enough, as Richtofen started ahead with blank, dark eyes, ones devoid of all mercy and emotion, one that looked absolutely terrifying. _"Zhose...zhose people! Zink zey can abuse mein Harry un get avay viz it? Oh...Vat i'll do...just thinking about gives me ze shivers!"_ Richtofen thought to himself.

And then Richtofen smiled, making him look even more terrifying. "Und you live viz zem?" Richtofen asked Harry.

Harry slowly nodded. Richtofen, if possible, seemed to smile wider, making Harry feel extremely uncomfortable. "I zink it's time I met your relatives Harry, vill you bring me to zem?" Richtofen asked at a sickeningly nice voice.

"...why?" Harry asked with a worried expression

"Just...let me vizit zem, is it so hard, i'd like to meet zem?" Richtofen replied in the same tone, his right eye flinching

Harry looked at him with a disturbed expression, he could already imagine what Richtofen wanted to do. But did he care? Not really actually. "Alright...just follow me." Harry said, walking down the street as Richtofen followed.

 **Number 4 Privet Drive**

It was quiet...to quiet. Then again it usually is when it's about 9:30 PM at night. The only noises were the sound of 2 people walking, and the 2 talking to each other, but not in the way some people would expect.

"Are ve zere yet?" Richtofen asked Harry.

"No." Harry Replied.

"Are ve zere yet?"

"No."

"Are ve zere yet?"

"No."

"Are ve zere yet?"

"NO!"

"...Are ve zere yet?"

Harry made a stressed groan, ever since they had left the park that was the question Richtofen kept asking. "We! Are! Not! There! Yet! Why are you so childish? You're like 20 years old or something!" Harry asked Richtofen, which was ironic since he was a kid himself.

"Actually, if mein calculations are correct...I vould be around 88 or so years old, give or take, und vat's ze point of life if you can't be a bit childish? Eh?" Richtofen replied. Harry looked at Richtofen as if he had said that he was a crazy man who saved the universe by travelling the stars using a Box.

Harry was beginning to question why he brought Richtofen with him, on one hand he finally met someone who seemed to like him...on the other hand he was absurdly annoying, with Harry barely holding onto his sanity. "Could you just...be quiet for a few seconds?" Harry asked Richtofen with a desperate voice.

Richtofen sighed. "Very vell."

Harry nodded in thanks, and they continued to walk down the street.

"...Are ve zere yet." Richtofen asked after about 10 seconds of silence.

Harry's left eye started twitch uncontrollably. _"Get a hold of yourself Harry, you've dealt with worse before..."_ Harry thought to himself.

Luckily, their location was in front of them. "Yes, we're here." Harry replied.

"YAY!" Richtofen exclaimed, making Harry rolled his eyes. If Richtofen could describe the area around him, it would be dull. There was literally nothing happening, no zombie, no occultists, no summoners, not even any crazy hobos preaching about the end of the world. Overall, it was dull, and he couldn't think of anything from the boredom. He was a time traveller for God's sake, he couldn't wait for anything! Time would let him avoid that.

Harry glared at Richtofen, but then switched to a nervous like persona as he approached the door. Before Richtofen joined him however, he started sniffing around, and sensed something. He proceeded to activate some sort of remote. It was a magic detector (courtesy of James), made to detect different types of magic, soon he found what it was, wards. More specifically alarm wards, if he were to step another foot, he would trigger said alarm wards, warning who ever placed them there.

Slowly, he took out a wand, which he personally made (also help from James), and waved it around, muttering a spell, causing the wards to temporarily disable themselves for about an hour, no one should notice...he hoped anyways (magic was never his brightest subject, ok?). Richtofen quickly placed his wand back in a holster that was strapped to his arm, hidden by his sleeve. He walked over to Harry, who was at the door and didn't notice a thing.

Harry reluctantly knocked on the door 4 times, with Richtofen behind him. There was a sound of scrambling and heavy steps on the other side of the door, and then nothing. Richtofen and Harry looked at each other in question. Harry was about to knock on the door again when suddenly the big walrus known as Vernon Dursley appeared.

"BOY! Where have you been?!" Vernon shouted as if they weren't just a few feet away from them.

"Sorry Uncle Vernon...I-" Harry started saying.

Suddenly Vernon roughly grabbed Harry by the shirt and threw him inside the house, completely ignoring Richtofen. "NO EXCUSES BOY! DO YOU KNOW HOW LATE IT IS? I would have expected better behavior than this you freak!" Vernon shouted. Vernon then started looking around. "Where is Dudley Boy?"

Harry started to get back up, but then Vernon proceeded to grab Harry by the shirt once again and push him against the wall with a lot of force. "I SAID WHERE'S MY SON, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM YOU FREAK?!" Vernon shouted out, spit covering his face, now looking as red as a tomato.

"You know, I don't think he vill be able to answer you if you keep screaming at him, from past experiences, he's probably going to become deaf." Richtofen finally said mildly, walking in while inserting his pinky into his ear.

"And who the fuck are you? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Vernon shouted at Richtofen.

"Mein Gott, do you ever shut up? I am right in front of you! Anyvays, I am Edward Richtofen, und zat is ze son of mein late best freund you're man handling." Richtofen said, wincing at the sound of Vernon's voice.

Vernon seemed to go slightly pale, before becoming an even darker shade of red (if that's even possible). "You're on of those wizard freaks aren't you? GET OUT! WE WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!"

"Ach, mein gott, VILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!" Richtofen shouted back. Vernon stopped talking, but then started turning into a shade of purple. Harry meanwhile, was still being held up by Vernon, incase any of you were wondering.

"Zank you, now I must talk to you about ze living conditions of Harry here, I heard zat you have been treating him quite badly, und I zink zat an improvement is in order!" Richtofen said slowly. He then proceeded to open a cupboard under the stairs. "For instance, perhaps getting Harry an actual room, und maybe less abusing, ja?"

Vernon seemed to get even more purple with rage (Richtofen was starting to think that he was one of those rainbow people), and looked at Harry, making him flinch. "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TALKING ABOUT THE CUPBOARD TO STRANGERS BOY! AFTER THIS, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET ANY FOOD FOR A MONTH YOU UNGRATEFUL FREAK!" Vernon shouted (Richtofen also concluded that perhaps only the words 'freak' and 'boy were in this man's vocabulary). Harry was starting to feel light headed and felt like he was starting to lose his hearing.

"Erm, nicht, zere won't be any of zat, because you are going to stop zat now, right?" Richtofen said with a smile. Vernon once again turned his attention to Richtofen. "You dare give ME orders in MY house?!" Shouted Vernon, tightening his hold around Harry, making it slightly harder to breath.

"Erm...ja?" Richtofen replied with a questioning voice, as if completely oblivious to what he just said.

Vernon, now practically dark purple (seriously, is that even possible?), dropped Harry, and charged at Richtofen, lifting his right hand to punch Richtofen. Richtofen simply side stepped, causing Vernon to crash into the wall, creating a rather large dent. "You know, I zink congratulations are in order, I have never seen someone get zat purple before, it really is remarkable!" Richtofen calmly stated.

Vernon, with the support of the hand rails on the stairs which were creaking with the pressure from the Walrus's weight, was able to barely stand up. "PET!" Vernon shouted. Suddenly, a horse faced, thin women came out from the kitchen. _"Ah, so ze wife arrives."_ Richtofen thought to himself. "GET THE GUN!"

"Nein, Pet, you vill not be getting ze gun." Richtofen said, pulling out a Luger, making Petunia freeze. "Much better, good horsey!"

"YOU DARE THREATEN MY WIFE IN MY HOUSE!" Vernon shouted, once again charging at Richtofen. This time, however, Richtofen grabbed Vernon by the flabby area that was supposedly his neck, and pushed him against the wall of the stairs, despite Vernon being much bigger than Richtofen. "Now listen here fat man, I vas being nice, but you are REALLY starting to get on mein nerves, perhaps I have to cut out your tongue to shut you up!" Richtofen said in a dark voice, taking out a knife and pointing it menacingly at Vernon's mouth.

Vernon paled considerably, and started to excrete from both front and back, which unfortunately leaked out of the front of his pants and onto Richtofen's uniform. Richtofen looked down, looking at his now slightly soaked with urine uniform, and looked back up, with darkened eyes and now red face. "You mutter ficker, ZAT VAS A NEW UNIFORM!" Richtofen shouted. That was the last straw, if he hated ANYTHING! It was people getting his uniform dirty (then again, it always get's dirty, so you can tell he probably get's angry a lot).

Richtofen drew out his dagger and stabbed it into Vernon's stomach, causing Vernon to shriek in pain and fear. He then started to slice down, causing Vernon to cry in pain even more, begging Richtofen to stop, as blood started to pour out of the wound. Suddenly, Richtofen dropped the knife, and punched his gloved hand into the wound, and started to search around, until he seemed to grasp something. With a grunt of triumph, he ripped something out of the wound, which doctors would identify as a spleen. Richtofen started to laugh maniacally as he threw Vernon to the ground, blood now covering everywhere.

Vernon was curled up in a ball, moaning and crying in pain, while Petunia had promptly thrown up, all green faced, and then rushed over to Vernon's side. "HAHAHAH- ACH, ew, mein gott! Zis spleen is terrible, you are van obese man." Richtofen said, as he abruptly stopped laughing, and looked at the still bleeding spleen in his hand. "Now that I have your attention, I am going to give you some commands, und you vill obey, or else losing your spleen vill be like being pricked by a needle...here Harry, consider this mein ozer second Birthday Present to you." Richtofen proceeded to put the spleen on Harry's hands.

Harry, who had been watching the entire scene with horror (and strangely enough, a little bit of pleasure.) Suddenly felt the slippery organ plop down onto his hand, making him shout out in surprise, dropping the spleen on the floor, his hands now covered in blood. "Oh come on, zat vas a bad spleen, but a spleen none ze less, you don't simply zrow it avay, zey are precious!" Richtofen said, looking at the organ with sad eyes...that would've looked sad had it not been for the blood and gore covering his uniform, making Harry feel wheezy.

"Anyvays, first things first, you people are going to get Harry his own room, und you vill stop abusing him, OR I VILL KILL YOU!...Nein, i vont kill you, i'll remove you're spleens, dip you in acid, revive you, let you get eaten alive by ze undead, zen..." Richtofen started muttering and eventually started to zoom out, his eyes glazing over, and Richtofen smiling slightly. Harry looked at him and felt himself feeling up with fear at his supposed uncle in front of him. _"At least he'll keep me safe...right?"_ Harry thought to himself. Seeing Richtofen seemingly in his own world, Harry tapped him on the arm, causing him to blink.

"Oh ja, vere vas I? Oh yes! Death Threats, bla bla bla, etc etc, HARRY! Vat do you want?" Richtofen shouted suddenly, making Harry flinch back. Harry though to himself. "Well...maybe they could stop making me cook for them, or do chores for them...or take care of the garden for them if I don't want to." Harry mumbled.

This only made Richtofen even more angry at what these people were doing to Harry, and only his sheer will stopped him from choking all of them to death _"Though the fat van might bleed to death...meh, mein mistake."_ Richtofen thought to himself. "Very vell, if zat's all, you vill stop ze abusing, get Harry a room, und stop making him do your stuff, mein gott, do your own scheisse...zen again it'd be pretty hypocritic of me to say zat since I have mein own zombie butler/slave so..." Richtofen said. Richtofen shook his head to stop himself from wandering off again.

"Anyvays! If you don't abide by zis rules, I vill come here, und personally rip out ALL of your spleens! Got zat?" Richtofen shouted. By this time, Petunia was the only one listening, as Vernon had passed out from the blood loss. "I SAID GOT ZAT?" Richtofen screamed again. This time Petunia barely nodded, who was currently crying.

"Vell, zat settles zat, do not vorry Harry, you vill be just fine from now on, but for now, I must go." Richtofen said, starting to press buttons on his wrist panel. Harry suddenly went wide eyed. "What?! No! You can't leave! We just met!" Harry said, who now started to tear up a bit, not wanting to see the first friendly person he met (if you could call him friendly anyways) go away.

"Don't vorry Harry, tell you vat, i'll come back here every now and zen, und I vill teach you to protect yourself! I have some spare time here and zere, and ve vill catch up zen! How about zat, eh?" Richtofen said soothingly, in an unusually calm voice. Harry looked up, and nodded, smiling slightly. "Gut Junge! I vill see you soon enough, besides, do you still have ze necklace I gave you?"

Harry nodded, taking out the necklace from his shirt. He had gotten it back when Richtofen had beat up Dudley and his gang. "Now, if you're ever in danger, all you have to do is press zese 2 buttons- but only if you're in danger! I am often on a strict schedule, und I don't want you to be discovered just yet, ok?" Richtofen asked. Harry nodded, not questioning anything as of right now.

"Very gut! Now, I vill see you later, und as zey say in ze Fatherland, VISZONTLATASRA*!... wait, or vas i-" Richtofen said, but was abruptly cut off as a sudden flash of light appeared, so bright that Harry has to look away. When he looks back, Richtofen has completely dissapeared. _"What have I gotten myself into?"_ Harry thought to himself.

 **Seemingly a minute later, 1985, Hill Valley, California, USA, Delorean Universal Sector**

Richtofen appeared back in the Delorean Sector, smiling widely. This had to be one of his best days, finding Harry and teaching Harry how to brutally mur-...defend himself was going to be so fun, and he couldn't wait, but first...

"RICHTOFEN! WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!" Dempsey shouted out as he started running towards Richtofen with Nikolai and Takeo, being chased down by a hoard of zombies.

"Oh, nozing really, just thought of something to brighten mein day!" Richtofen replied, cocking his DG2.

"Oh? And what is that?" Nikolai shouted out, loading his Ray Gun.

"Thinking about how many spleens i'm going to collect today!" Richtofen replied, laughing maniacally.

Everyone seemed to buy it, except Takeo. Just a minute ago, Richtofen was sad, and though he knew Richtofen tended to have random mood swings, he usually never did that when thinking about James and Lily. Not only that, looking at Richtofen's face, he seemed happy. Not homicidal happy, but actually happy, like a normal person. Whatever did happen, Takeo would get to the bottom of it, because whatever made Richtofen purely happy, probably wouldn't end well for the rest of them.

Richtofen laughed as he charged into the new mass of zombies. _"I'll be seeing you soon Harry."_ Richtofen thought to himself, as he started zapping zombies.

* * *

 **A/N:** For those who were expecting that we were going straight to 5th Year, let it be known that I am first going to go through some stuff in the story, though 5th year shouldn't be too far away. The next chapter or 2 will probably be about Richtofen training Harry in combat, and then afterwards we will get to 1st and 2nd years (both will either have their own chapters or be on the same chapter, since i'll really be skimming over them, since besides Harry knowing how to kill with guns, it'll be practically the same), after that, we have some filler, and then we'll finally get to 5th year.

Also, I will be answering reviews if there will be anymore in the future, starting by our first review!:

 **Chaks:** Thanks for the compliments, i'll make sure to try to the best of my abilities to put out good quality chapters (i'll try anyways)

Now! Spread thigh story to thou friends, so I will have more reviews to reply to! The next chapter will come in a few weeks give or take. Anyways, until then, Auf Wiedersehen!

Edit: Sorry I haven't been updating must, however, i've been suffering a bit from writer's block, and to try and stop said writer's block, i've been creating a sort of demo of a future story i'd like to make, and i've been correcting some spelling mistakes on this story, srsly, any aspiring story typer should get google attachment 'Grammarly', it's amazing! Anyways, i'll try my best, but for now, just bare with me


	3. Chapter 2: Harry Gun Bootcamp

Disclaimer-I do not own Harry Potter (owned by JK Rowling), or Call of Duty (owned by Treyarch, Activision...etc, and others), if I did, then there would be a lot of strange shit all around the place

 **A/N:** Sorry it's been so long, but not only did my laptop break AGAIN, I also got a case of Writer's Block, so I couldn't bring myself to actually type the damn thing, I also have to go out a lot for certain businesses

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter

* * *

 **Number 4 Privet Drive, July 14th 1988**

Harry was in his room, reading from his Year 5 Science Text Book. Ever since Richtofen had come into his life 2 weeks ago, things had been pretty damn sweet. First, his 'Guardians' had given him Dudley's Second Bed Room, which had, at first, been abandoned, with dust covering every area, and spider webs in the corners, however a good week of spring cleaning resulted in a pretty comfortable room. And now, without his 'loving' relatives attempting to bring him down, Harry started to actually do good in school, getting to the top of the class in a matter of days. He soon realised that his intelligence was actually up and beyond compared to his other peers, which was why he was currently reading a Year 5 Science Text Book when he was in the middle of Year 4.

Dudley and his gang stopped trying to hunt him down, with the fear of what they named 'The German Man' coming for them, Petunia did cooked for the rest of the family and did the other chores now, and Vernon stopped trying to blame him for everything, instead staying quiet (which suited Harry). Speaking of Vernon, ya, unfortunately that Walrus survived, though he was very close to dying from blood loss, but alas, it was not the case. When he had returned, he had been tempted to beat Harry to a bloody pulp, but with Richtofen ready to enter at anytime, he didn't dare.

Overall, life had taken a great big improvement for Harry Potter. "Vas? Vat ze..AAAAAGH!" Someone shouted outside, Harry just barely seeing someone fall off the roof and hit the ground with a resounding _thump_. And now his life was about to get even more interesting, as Harry looked out the window, seeing a dazed Richtofen getting onto his feet, and immediately ran out of the room, dropping the now abandoned book.

 **A few moments earlier, 935 HQ Common Room, Somewhere in the Multiverse**

 _Richtofen's POV_

Richtofen was sitting down on the nice red couch in the common room, looking at his watch. Today was the beginning of Richtofen and Co's resting month. Every squad of hunters would usually have a specific amount of time to rest before going back out on the field, and since they usually were active to what was technically years, they got themselves longer then usual free times.

This was Richtofen and Co's (code named: Originals or V1 Squad) turn to rest, with the 'Political' Squad taking their shift. _"Good thing too."_ Richtofen thought to himself _"I vas tired of Dempsey practically worship John's Voice."_ Speaking of Dempsey, Richotfen looked up from his watch, looking around. They weren't the only ones off duty at the moment, as he saw some of the members of what was called 'Victis' Squad, but what Richtofen preferred to call 'South' Squad because of all the damn Americans that seemed to have the accent (Dempsey actually asked for a transfer one time, Richtofen fixed that from happening).

Dempsey was currently sitting beside Misty on the other side of the couch, attempting (and failing) to try and put his arm over her shoulder. _"Doesn't he know ze risks of doing stuff like zat to parallel dimension or people from another time?"_ Richtofen thought. _"For all we know, Misty could be Dempsey's Granddaughter or something."_ Funnily enough, they never bothered to check.

Russman was with Nikolai in a drinking contest...Nikolai usually always won, and Marlton was doing...something in the corner including a mouse trap and a battery, usually he'd join him but he'd recently been a bit...edgy (when I mean edgy, I mean they found a kilogram of cocaine in his room this one time). They had no idea where Samuel was, though perhaps he'd still not forgiven Richtofen that one time he possessed him (that was ONE TIME!). And Takeo... Takeo was sort of just being Takeo, as in currently on his knees on a mat, praying in front of a picture of his dad or something...Richtofen didn't know, and had never actually bothered to ask. Usually, Richtofen would've been reading a book or something, but this was not the case today.

Today was the day Richtofen was finally going to start Harry's training in the art of mur- self defence. For Richtofen it had been a few days, however every second he felt more excited to spend more time with who he considered his nephew. He would train him up to be able to fight against even some of the most dangerous things...well maybe not, but you get the point, he's going to kick some ass by the end of this.

They had around 3 months of free time, and Richtofen would be spending all 3 months at points in time in training Harry, though it might seem much longer for Harry...but he was sure he wouldn't mind. Soon, Richtofen checked his watch and stood up. _It was time_. Richtofen proceeded to walk out of the room before Dempsey called out. "Hey, Richtofen! Where are you going?" Dempsey shouted. When Richtofen turned around, Dempsey had a large red handprint on his right cheek, which he was rubbing, while Misty was gone.

" _One of these days he'll give up."_ Richtofen thought to himself. "Just checking on a little project of mine, nozing to worry about!" Richtofen said cheerfully. Dempsey narrowed his eyes. "This project better not be like that Gersh Device Overload a year ago." Dempsey said. Richtofen flinched at the mention of that incident, it was pretty damn bad (if you know what a Gersh Device is, then it getting overloaded, you could imagine what would happen).

"Nein, nozing like zat, you have mein word." Richtofen said with a wide smile. Dempsey continued to stare at Richtofen with narrowed eyes, then blinked and shrugged. "Whatever, i'm getting a beer, Nikolai, you want anything?" Dempsey said. Nikolai had, by this time, stood up with a bottle of vodka in his hand, while Russman was out cold from the amount of alcohol. "Only vodka my capitalist friend, only vodka." Nikolai said calmly, taking a swig from his bottle as he walked by Dempsey, belching, making Dempsey cough violently and wave his hand in front of his face.

With no one watching him, Richtofen walked out of the room, the only one noticing him leave was Takeo. _"Whatever Richtofen is doing, it cannot be possibly good."_ Takeo said to himself.

 **A few moments later**

Richtofen had now arrived in his laboratory, which looked a lot like a storage room actually, the only thing showing that someone lived here was the large cabinet, book cases, and hammock that was in the corner. Richtofen smiled, and went over to the cabinet, where he opened up the bottom and took out a brown briefcase labeled 'training'.

He then went over to a cupboard, where he took out a luger and dagger, attaching both to his belt, as well as putting on a bag that held several grenades. He then put on his officer cap, and put on the mini-teleporter (which he fit on his back) and controller (which he fit on his wrist). Smiling, he started dialing into the controller, and then twisted a big red button, making the mini-teleporter make a power up noise.

" _Harry, here I come."_ Richtofen thought to himself, pressing the red button, and disappearing in a flash of light.

 **Back to Number 4 Privet Drive**

Richtofen appeared in a bright light, looking around, noticing that instead of being on, he was currently looking over the street he was supposed to be at. "Vas?" Richtofen said. "Vat ze..AAAAAGH!" Richtofen shouted as he lost his footing, falling off the roof. Richtofen plummeted down, landing roughly on the ground with a _smack!_ Richtofen groaned in pain as he stood up, twisting around to fix his back. Once he was sure that everything was in place and not broken, he walked over to the front of the house and knocked the door.

He heard a slight shuffling, and then the door opened, revealing a tired looking Petunia in a white apron. Suddenly, she turned extremely pale when she saw Richtofen. "Guten Tag, i'm here to see mein nephew in law?" Richtofen asked Petunia, walking forward. "In law? It's in law right? Am I wrong? Am I right?" Richtofen started muttering to himself in an unsure tone, eventually just shrugging.

Suddenly, there was a shuffling from upstairs as Harry appeared from the stairs. "Uncle Richtofen!" Harry said with a smile, walking over to Richtofen. "Hello Harry! Excited for your first day of training?" Richtofen asked Harry, ruffling his hair, making Harry giggle. Harry nodded. "Gut! Und I see zey have been treating you better, nice shirt." Richtofen said.

Harry was currently wearing a bright green t-shirt, with white pants, both that fitted Harry. Meanwhile, Petunia was still standing in fear, while Vernon and Dudley had just appeared, immediately freezing after spotting Richtofen. Richtofen soon realised this, and gave a very disturbing smile, that even unnerved Harry.

Dudley almost immediately soiled his pants, and ran away, while Vernon seemed to grow a shade of red. "YOU! WE DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU! JUST LEAVE US ALONE YOU FR-." Vernon shouted. However before he could say the 'F' word, Richtofen lazily picked up his Luger (which had a silencer on it) and shot Vernon in the knee, making him shriek in pain like a little girl (no offense to little girls...please spare me), and causing him to collapse.

"Nein Vernon, zat is a bad vord, und I vill not tolerate it! So go up to your room und zip it!" Richtofen said in a very scolding manner, making Harry once again giggle. "Besides, you'll only be seeing me a few times every few days...veeks...months, I don't know, vibbly vobbly, timey vimey und all zat scheisse, can never rely on a clock anymore."

Petunia simply stood there, unwilling to move as the mad man still held a gun that could be pointed at her. Richtofen proceeded to turn to Harry. "Vell, now zat zat's over, let's get you to our first lesson, come on." Richtofen said, walking out the door. Harry quickly followed, and only then did Petunia quickly went to Vernon's side.

Richtofen and Harry started walking down the street, going in one direction. After a few minutes of walking, Harry disrupted the silence. "Erm, where exactly are we going Uncle Richtofen?" Harry asked Richtofen. Richtofen smiled. "Don't call me Uncle, it makes me feel old." Richtofen said. "Und as to where we're going?...no idea actually, I planned to just keep walking until we find some desolate area or something vhere no van vill disturb us...do you know anywhere that fits ze criteria?"

Harry thought for a moment before responding. "I think I know just the place." Harry said, signalling Richtofen to follow him, before going into a light jog. "Come on uncle!" Harry shouted gleefully. Richtofen just stood there for a second. "Vait a second...I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME UNCLE!" Richtofen shouted out, running after a now distant Harry.

Several minutes later of running, they arrived at a park in front of a small, slightly broken down shed. Harry looked fine, but Richtofen looked out of breath. "Scheisse, how am I so out?" Richtofen said, breathing heavily. "I'm usually better zen zis...zen again, i'm usually running for mein life from hordes of ze undead, so zat might be a factor."

Harry looked at Richtofen oddly, still not getting around that his 'uncle' was supposedly a guy who killed zombies for a living. "Eh, i'll show you later." Richtofen said, starting to walk towards the shed then pausing. "Actually, maybe a lot later, I don't vant to see mein nephew get eaten in front of mein eyes, flesh being torn, skin ripped, turning into a cannibalistic man eating mindless animal." Richtofen muttered casually, completely ignoring the fact was staring at him in sudden fear.

Richtofen continued to walk getting to the door, then turning his head ever so slightly, looking at Harry, who was still stiff with sudden fear, images coming forward to his mind. "Vell come on, I don't have all day." Richtofen called out to Harry. Harry quickly ran after him, going into the shed. Richtofen finally closed the door and looked around. The inside of the shed looked desolate and abandoned, with the wooden walls rotting and plant life protruding into the rotten shelter. The tools, however, looked to be in relatively good condition, obviously having been cleaned just recently.

"Ah, vell zis looks cozy!" Richtofen said cheerfully. "So how did you find zis place zen Harry? Have an interest in gardening?"

"Well, I do, but I found this place one day, and i've been using it as a hiding spot from Dudley and his gang ever since, well, not that I really need it anymore I suppose." Harry replied, with a bit of thankfulness in his tone towards the end.

Richtofen looked at him happily, and wondering to himself, how much more miserable would his life have been if he had not come along? In fact, why was Harry put with the Dursley's in the first place? Richtofen recalled how Lily talked about the Dursley's hating her for her magic, plus he'd seen the will the late Potter's had made, and in the case of their deaths Harry would go with Sirius Black, and if not with Black, then Lupin, and several more, but Richtofen never recalled the Dursley's ever being apart of that list, in fact, he'd recalled that there was an explicit warning in said will stating that Harry would on no condition go to the Dursley's. This was something he'd have to research into later. Suddenly, he felt a tug at his uniform, and turned to see Harry looking at him worriedly. "Are you ok Uncle Richtofen?" Harry asked Richtofen worriedly. After Harry had spoken, Richtofen seemed to glaze out, and Harry was worried something was wrong

"Oh, completely dandy! I vas just recalling some zings...I might have to check it out." Richtofen replied.

The two males simply stood around for a little a while, in awkward silence, until finally, Harry decided to break the silence. "So, what exactly are we going to do? This isn't exactly the best place to train, is it? What are we training about anyways ?" Harry asked Richtofen. Tell you the truth, Harry didn't actually know what they were doing, nor did he ever asked, he simply wanted to spend more time with his surrogate uncle.

"Ah, very gut Harry! Vell, obviously we aren't going to train here, which is why I brought zis!" Richtofen replied cheerfully, showing Harry a big, chunky, old looking suitcase. Suddenly, one of the locks flicked open, causing Richtofen to scowl and click it back into locking position. "Have to get zat fixed." Richtofen muttered. Richtofen then looked towards Harry. "Do you know vat zis is?"

"Erm, a suitcase?" Harry replied.

"Vell, ja, but anyzing else?" Richtofen asked again.

Harry shook his head and Richtofen sighed. "Vell zis suitcase, Harry, has a magical-" Richtofen said. Harry, once again, shook his head. "Wait, magical extension charms?" Harry said.

"Oh? OH! Ja, I forgot to tell you about how your fazer und mozer ver vizards." Richtofen said.

Harry gaped at Richtofen. "Wait, what do you mean wizards?' Harry asked

"You know, vizards! Cauldrons, brooms, vands, pointy hats, all zat scheisse." Richtofen replied.

"But, magic isn't real! And I can't be a wizard!"

"Nope, it's all real, here, let me explain..."

And so Richtofen proceeded with a brief overview of the wizarding world, how there was a secret society of wizards and witches, how they had magic, and all that crap.

"Wow, so eventually, i'm going to be going to the wizarding world?" Harry asked. But then this gave him a few thoughts. If he was a wizard, why hadn't anybody else from the magical world adopted him instead of the Dursleys? Surely his parents, who were apparently relatively rich, should have had some friends that could've adopted Harry! Something smelled fishy.

"Ja, but for ze sake of convenience, please just act like you know nozing of it vhen zey come for you." Richtofen said.

"Anyvays, as I vas saying, zis zing has magical extension charm on it, do you know vat zat means?" Harry shook his head. "Vell, zat means, via ze power of magic, it is bigger on ze inside!" Richtofen said cheerfully

"Wow, that sounds wicked!" Harry said. "Where did you get it?" "Vell, it used to belong to zis van magical zoologist named Newt Scamander." Richtofen replied.

"Wait, what do you mean used to?" Harry asked Richtofen suspiciously. "Vell...me und your fazer bought it off him." Richtofen replied nervously. "Are you sure?" Harry asked. Richtofen started sweating slightly, and then got a flashback.

 **Flashback**

 **Oslo, Norway, 9th April 1940**

On the streets of the Norwegian Capital of Oslo, quite early in the morning, a group of 3 men walked along. One was a familiar Nazi Officer. Another was an also familiar man wearing a striped purple suit and fedora, along with glasses. And the final was a man with messy brown hair, wearing a brown suit, a black bow tie, a blue overcoat, and a black and yellow scarf. "Vat are we looking for again Newt?" asked Richtofen. "It's cold." "Oh don't be such a cry baby Richtofen, it's not that cold." James said, promptly sneezing. "But, then again, it is quite chilly, erm, what are we looking for Mr Scamander?"

"Don't you remember what I told you lads an hour ago?" Newt Scamander asked, turning around. Both shook their heads. Both Richtofen and James got a bit bored, so decided to go and work with Newt Scamander in some of his animal expeditions. They'd been working together for over 3 months now, and last week they had just discovered a new breed of mini Nundu...that however did not make them any less dangerous (which ended with Richtofen getting blood poisoning, making him paralysed for over a week).

Scamander sighed. "Well, we're going to be looking for the elusive Crumple-Horned Snorkack, no one has ever seen them before, and we're going to be the ones to find it, unfortunately the only clue to their location is that they should be native to Scandinavia, which is why we're going to look through Norway first, then Finland, then Denmark, then the Baltic States, then Sweden, got that?" Scamander asked. Both nodded. "Any questions?"

"Ja, vy are ve going to Sveden last?" Richtofen asked. "Yes, Sweden is much more Scandinavian than the Baltics...why are we searching through the Baltics anyways?" James added. "Oh please, why would such an elusive creature be in Sweden? No offence to the Swedes, plus, the Baltics **are** Scandinavian, full stop." Scamander replied. "Richtofen, the Nazis aren't invading Norway anytime soon, right?" Richtofen thought to himself a bit. "Erm, not zat I know of." Richtofen said. Now, you might think that Richtofen would remember the fact that only a few hours from now, the Germans would begin the invasion of Norway, but he was a mutliversal time and space traveller, invasions on one continent was the least of her problems.

Suddenly, air sirens started sounding. "Oh, that doesn't sound good." Scamander muttered. James was about to suggest they go for shelter until something small and green jumped out of Scamander's coat and started running down the street. "Pickett!" Scamander called, throwing his suitcase behind him, James grabbing it awkwardly as it landed on him. "Pickett! Come back!" Scamander ran after the bowtruckle, while Richtofen and James followed at a distance.

Soon, Scamander was able to grab Pickett, soothing him. James and Richtofen simply looked at each other, still not getting used to the fact how Scamander was so connected to wild life. Scamander looked up. "Well don't just stand there, let's go find some she-" Scamander started shouting. Suddenly, Scamander was abruptly interrupted as a bomb from a Stuka Dive bomber landed right between them, pushing them both back. As the smoke dissipated, James and Richtofen, both covered in soot, looked in the direction of Scamander: only to find a crater instead.

Quickly, they looked at each other, and started running in panic. After a few minutes, they stopped at an alleyway, panting. "Gut thing we got out in time, ja?" Richtofen said through gasps of air. James nodded, but then reality struck him as he face palmed himself. "Oh Merlin, I think we just got bloody Newt Scamander killed!" James groaned. Richtofen patted James on the back. "Don't vorry, it's an occupational hazard, we change history plenty of times." Richtofen said. James abruptly faced Richtofen.

"But this was bloody Newt fucking Scamander! The greatest magical zoologist in history! And we just got him killed!" James said outraged.

"Ja, und remember zat ozer time ve shot Kennedy vhile ve vere drunk? Or ze ozer time ve poisoned Attila ze Hun? Or how about zat time ve accidentally killed Dumbledore's Siste-" Richtofen said.

"Oh don't even remind me of that one, Merlin to learn that you killed the leader of the light's sister is a great addition to your guilty conscience!"

"Vell, mein point is, zis is not ze first time! So don't let it get to you! Anyvays, he might have survived! Like zat time we blew up Hitler but he survived."

James sighs. "I guess...so what now?" James asks.

"Vell...you still have zat suitcase, right?" Richtofen replied

"Ya...should we return this to his wife? She might want it as a reminder to her husband, if he's dead anyways."

The two of them looked each other, and both simultaneously said "Nah."

"Vell, vat are we vaiting for, let's go!" Richtofen said gleefully.

 **End Flashback**

"Ja." Richtofen finally said. Harry narrowed his eyes a bit, before opening them again and smiling. "That's cool! Well, what do we do now?"

Richtofen made a sigh of relief, before putting down the Suitcase and opening it, revealing what looked to be a completely empty space. "Vell, come on!" Richtofen said. Harry makes a skeptical look.

"Oh come on, it's not going to eat you!...Vell in a certain point of view it is, but...you know vat! I'll go first! Vatch me!" Richtofen finally said. Richtofen proceeds to put both his feet into the suitcase, before seemingly going down a ladder, down into the suitcase, until his entire body was completely submerged into it. Harry took a cautious step forwards, looking down the suitcase, but only seeing darkness. "Come down here, i'm fine!" a voice called from inside the suitcase. Harry hesitated, before shrugging and went into the suitcase, finding a ladder and climbing it down.

" _This feels weird_." Harry thought to himself as he continued to go down the ladder in darkness. _"I'm actually inside a suitcase, this is just...wow."_ At last, after around a minute, Harry started to see light, and before long, reached the bottom of the ladder.

"See! I told you zere vas nozing to vorry about!" Richtofen said beside Harry. They were currently in what seemed to be a small shed, however, unlike the shed above, this one seemed nicely taken care of. "Vell, follow me."

Richtofen walked out of an open door in the shed, and Harry quickly followed. Soon Harry found himself in a dark, stone hallway, with several wooden doors on each side. It reminded Harry a lot of those old Medieval Dungeons. "Ah, it's been a long time since i've been here." Harry looked up, seeing Richtofen look around with a smile on his face. Both Harry and Richtofen started walking down the dark, ominous hallway. "Zis place was originally supposed to hold all of Scamander's animals."

"What happened to them? I don't see any animals here." Harry asked, looking around.

"Oh, vell, if mein memory serves me correctly, ve had zis van huge barbecue, und...actually it's better zat you don't learn ze details." Richtofen said. But Harry got the gist of it, and went slightly green. "Are there any left?" Harry asked.

"Vell...zere vere some zat escaped, i've seen a few since I redecorated zis place, i'm still trying to hunt zem down, it's gut for target practice." Richtofen said "Ze most annoying van zo is ze ficking Niffler, I never seem to get it, und it steals all mein stuff."

"What's a Niffler?" Harry asked, completely ignoring the fact Richtofen swore.

"Vell, it's a- DON'T MOVE!" Suddenly Richtofen shouted, causing Harry to abruptly go stiff as a board. Richtofen slowly approached, drawing out his dagger. "Don' . ."

"Why? What's happening?" Harry whispered with a terrified voice, warily eyeing the dagger, Richtofen held in his hand. _"Is he going to kill me?"_ Harry thought darkly

"Don' .Down." Richtofen whispered, drawing closer.

Despite the warning, Harry slowly looked down, finding what looked like a platypus with fur on his shirt, currently trying to pull off his 935 Necklace. Suddenly, it stopped, and looked up, staring at Harry straight in the eyes. Silence reigned for a few seconds. Suddenly, Richtofen lunged, knocking both him and Harry on the ground, as the Niffler started scurrying away on the stone floor.

"AGH! NIEMAND ENTKOMMT AUS DER DOKTOR!"* Richtofen shouted with anger, as he quickly stood up and turned towards the niffler. Richtofen proceeded to draw his Luger P08, and started shooting at the Niffler while running after it. However, the Niffler escaped through a crack in the wall, and Richtofen shouted out in rage. "I swear, van day! I vill find you Niffler! Und I vill kill you!" Richtofen shouted, kicking the wall, and instantly regretting it as he swore in German and clutched his boot in pain.

Harry meanwhile was sitting on the ground, looking on with a smile on his face, full of mirth. Richtofen, slowly walked towards Harry with a slight limp. "Are you okay Harry?" Richtofen finally asked. Harry nodded his head. Richtofen nodded his head in return and sighed. "Gut, let's continue."

Finally, Richtofen and Harry got to the end of the hall, finding a door, unlike the other more old looking, wooden doors, this one looked high tech, made of steel, with a control panel at the side. Harry observed as Richtofen went over to the panel, and then pressed a button. "Please state your identity." a voice out of nowhere said. Richtofen proceeded to get his dagger and prick his finger a bit, and putting it in some sort of hole. "Blood accepted, welcome, Doctor Richtofen." the voice said. Suddenly, the door slid side ways, revealing a room.

Richtofen walked in, and signalled Harry to follow. Harry walked in, and then suddenly shielded his eyes temporarily from the sudden revelation of light. When Harry opened his eyes, it revealed a completely bleach white room, which seemed to go on for ages. "Where are we?" Harry asked.

"Vell, zis is ze training room!" Richtofen said. Harry looked around, sceptical.

"But, there's nothing in here." Harry said. "It's all just empty."

"Vell, it just appears zat way! Have you ever watched ze Matrix?"

Harry shook his head. "Oh right! Still about 11 more years, ja, anyvays! Using a bit of magic from ze founder's era, I vas able to construct a room zat provides everyzing you need, in vis just a thought, come on, try it! Zink of something you vant, und it vill appear!" Richtofen said.

If this was Harry a few minutes ago, he wouldn't have believed it. But he did just go into a suitcase, revealing an entire room. So Harry shrugged, and thought about the first thing that came to mind, that strangely enough was the same necklace he currently had. Suddenly, a popping sound came out of nowhere, and Harry felt something in his right hand. Lifting it, he found what looked like an exact replica of his current 935 necklace. "Wicked." Harry muttered.

"Gut! Now zat you have ze main idea, ve shall began!" Richtofen said happily, snapping his fingers together. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a table appeared with A LOT of guns on it. "Now, i'm going to be teaching you both firearms, und some martial arts perhaps, but first, ze basics." Richtofen snapped his fingers again, and this time only one gun remained on the table. Richtofen picked it up, and gave it to Harry.

"Zis is ze Colt M1911 Pistol, introduced in 1911 und still used today, it vas vonce ze main side arm of ze US Armed Forces, it uses .45 ACP Catridges, can hold up to 7 rounds, und has an effective range of 50 meters, zis zing could blow a hole in your head if you fire it in ze right place...vhich is vhy it's a great choice as a practice pistol." Richtofen said cheerfully.

Harry looked at the pistol. Harry wasn't that much of a gun expert at all, but in his opinion, it wasn't exactly a pretty gun. It was pretty big compared to his hand, hard to hold, and it looked a bit clunky. "So i'm going to learn how to use this thing?" Harry asked.

"Ja, don't vorry, ve'll move on to higher things later, for now, let's try it out, now first, safety rules! First of all! Alvays point it at ze person you vant to kill, no van else...i'm fairly certain zat's a correct rule, screw it, let's just get to using it!" Richtofen said, again snapping his fingers together. This time, a round target board appeared, around 25 meters away. "First of all, cock back ze gun until you hear it click."

Harry looked down, and cocked back the gun rather cautiously, becoming pretty nervous about firing his first gun. "Second, turn off ze safety, zere is a small switch on ze left, flick it down." Richtofen continued. Harry looked on the left of the gun, seeing a small switch, which he promptly flicked into firing position. "Now, raise it up to eye level, und aim vis both hands on ze grip, zere is some kickback on it, so be careful." Richtofen continued. Harry put both his hands on the grip of the gun, and levelled it at eye level, looking down the iron sight. "Nein, your posture is a bit off, here let me help you." Richtofen walked over to Harry, and raised his arms slightly, while also spreading his legs out a bit.

"Zere, now, aim at ze target, und pull ze trigger, don't vorry, take your time, I advise you steady your breath." Richtofen said, stepping away. Harry nodded, and closed his eyes, breathing in and out, steadying his breath, steadying his slightly shaking hands. He then opened his eyes, and aimed at the target, preparing hims- "HEY, ARE YOU GOING TO SHOOT YET!" Richtofen suddenly shouted from behind him.

Harry yelped and accidentally fired, the recoil knocking back the gun so fast that it hit Harry on the nose, making him fall down. "Scheisse...you missed ze damn target, how am I supposed to teach you how to shoot vhen you can't even hit somezing at 25 meters." Richtofen said, shaking his head. "Shame on you."

A few minutes later, found Harry once again standing up, this time with a bandaged up nose. "Ok, let's try zis again, zis time, don't take too long." Richtofen said. Harry nodded, and fired. And he missed. He fired again, and again, and again. Each blast making him wince from the large blasting sound. On the 7th round, he finally hit the target, but only got the edge. "Vell, I guess it's a good improvement." Richtofen said. "Perhaps a smaller gun is in order."

Richtofen grabbed the M1911 from Harry's hand, and gave Harry a much smaller gun. This one was much smaller then the M1911, to the point where he could actually hold it comfortably. Not only that, but it looked much more beautiful than it. While the M1911 was big, clunky, dull and much older looking, this one was smaller, smoother, more shiny, more compact, and looked much more advanced. Overall, Harry liked it much more.

"Zat is a Walther PPK, uses a smaller .32 ACP Cartridge, used as an officer sidearm for German Officers during ze var, it's a gut gun, still packs a punch, but I prefer mein Luger." Richtofen commented. "Vell, go on! Test it! Same principles as ze M1911."

Harry nodded once again, and repeated the usual cocking and safety removal. Harry found that he could slide his hand onto the group much more smoothly with the PPK, and that it fit much more with his smaller stature. He once again aimed, and fired. Harry noticed that the PPK made a, though still loud, much more quite blast, and also had much more tamed recoil on it. And the improvement showed, as this time Harry hit in the mid area of the target circle. "Nice shot Harry, try again." Richtofen said

Harry did so, and this time made many more accurate hits. Richtofen continued to train Harry with the Walther PPK, since he seemed to show much more affinity towards the gun, telling him tips of how better to aim, until finally after a few hours, Harry was able to hit the middle of the target.

"Wundebar Harry! Usually it takes someone a longer to be able to hit ze middle!" Richtofen told Harry. Harry smiled with pride. "I zink it's time to advance in level! Here! Try zis!" Richtofen said, giving Harry a Shotgun. Harry held it awkwardly, because of the shotgun's bigger size. "Erm, are you sure i'm ready for this?" Harry asked Richtofen.

"Ja! Sure! Anyzing is possible if you believe! Und I definitely believe in you!" Richtofen said with a supporting smile. Harry smiled wider, and then pointed the shotgun at the target, pulling the trigger, only to find himself flying through the air from the blast of the shotgun, hitting the other side of the room, knocking him unconscious. Richtofen stared at Harry's still body for a little bit, still smiling. "Jaaaa...I retract mein earlier statement." Richtofen said to himself. Suddenly Richtofen grimaced, and then made a panicked expression. "Ah scheisse!" Richtofen exclaimed, the implications of what just happened reaching him.

Richtofen quickly ran over to Harry. "Harry! Are you okay?" Richtofen asked Harry worriedly. At first Harry didn't respond, making Harry panic even further. He was mainly a doctor of science! Not a doctor of medicine! Well unless you talk about his skill with bodily torture and anatomy but still, that wasn't the point! Suddenly, Harry opened one of his eyes. "I 'ave a' 'eacache." Harry slurred.

"I think that's enough training for today, ja Harry?" Richtofen chuckled. Harry nodded his head, smiling slightly. Soon, both were sitting on a sofa together in the room, watching a movie called 'Lord of the Rings', eating a bowl of chips. Tell you the truth, Harry didn't exactly know what to think about the fact Richtofen was teaching Harry how to use firearms. At first, he didn't mind, he just wanted to spend more time with Richtofen. But now, he realised some of the implications. He knew Richtofen wanted to know how to defend himself, but did he also want him to kill people? Why else would he teach him how to use a weapon that was specifically used for killing.

Harry didn't want to kill anybody, he really didn't. He knew it was necessary to defend himself, but did Richtofen expect him to kill in cold blood? He hoped not. But for now, he wanted to ask Richtofen something. "Hey, Uncle Richtofen?" Harry asked.

Richtofen turned to Harry, while pausing the movie. "I told you not to call me uncle, but anyvays, ja?" Richtofen replied, still peeved over being called uncle. He wasn't that old!

"Sure uncle." Harry said, smirking. Richtofen glared. "Could you tell me more about my father?"

Richtofen's glare immediately seized, and he smiled instead. "Ja, sure, vat do you vant to know?"

"Well, how was he like?" Harry asked.

"Ah! Vell your fazer, he vas a great man, alvays supportive of others, alvays making sure everyone aroud him vas happy, strong, feared almost nozing, und may I add, quite funny sometimes, i'd like to zink he really helped us improve in life." Richtofen said with a smile, then to a grimace. "It vas such a shame you know, vhen he left us, he vas viz us for years! Ve had so many adventures! So many stories"

"Oh! Can you tell me one!" Harry suddenly asked. Then stared down with red cheeks "I mean, please?"

"Sure! Come on, get comfortable." Richtofen said. "Hm, let me zink...Ah ja! It vas on van of our zombie hunting missions, our teleporter had broken, so ve vere brought to ze wrong area, und so ve decided to go rent a car...

 **Flashback**

 **On a road a mountain, Middle of Nowhere, USA, Around 2001**

(For this flashback, I advise you start listening to the song: Tunak Tunak Tun)

It was dark and quiet, only the hooting of the owls, the chirping of the crickets...and the blasting sound of Indian music and obnoxious singing? Driving down the road in a rented First Generation Camaro that looked like it was in extremely bad shape, and when I mean rented

 _Richtofen walks up to the sales man, cocks a shotgun, and aims it. "Give me a ficking car or i'll spread your brains on ze side of der road!"_

I mean stolen, were Richtofen, Takeo, Nikolai, Dempsey and James, all singing (rather badly, I might add) to the song _Tunak Tunak Tun_ on the radio on high volume. Their current mission was to kill a zombie in the area before it infected anyone, however their teleporter had brought them to a completely different area, and had broken down afterwards, so they were forced to get a car and drive to the area instead.

James and Dempsey were in the front of the car (James was driving), while Takeo and Nikolai were sitting on the sides, with Richtofen in the middle in the back (however Richtofen was currently standing, leaning forwards at the front), all (except Takeo) obnoxiously singing along with the song. "Eh! Richtofen! We nearly there yet?" James shouted over the cacophony of sound.

"Nearly, ze radar about 10 more minutes!" Richtofen shouted back, fumbling with a sort of gameboy looking device

"Well we better! I'm getting fucking sick of this goddamn song!" Dempsey shouted

"Oh come on you capitalist slug! This is my favourite song!" Nikolai shouted in heavy Russian accented english

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME NIKOLAI!" Dempsey angrily shouted

"Eh! Zis is mein favorite part!" Richtofen shouted "Dholnaaaaaaaaa-AAAAAAH PANZER SOLDAT!"

"Wait, dat isn't part of de song!" Nikoali shouted.

"NEIN! ON ZE ROAD! PANZER SOLDAT!" Richtofen shouted in a panicked voice

"What do you mean Panzer Solda- HOLY SHIT, IT'S A PANZER SOLDAT!" James suddenly shouted

There on the road, was a Panzer Soldat, currently showing it's armoured back. Suddenly, it started to notice them, and slowly turned around. The entire crew stated making shouts of panic: "JAMES! GO BACK! GO BACK!" "JAMES! FUCKING REVERSE!" "PROTECT DE VODKA! DRIVE JAMES! DRIVE!"

"I'M BLOODY TRYING YOU TWATS!" James shouted back in the cacophony of shouts. Finally, James was able to set the gear in reverse, just as the Panzer Soldat was about to drill into them. All were shouting in terror as James reversed the car at full speed, while the music continued to blast.

 _Sun Yaara Bole Ik Taya! Mehndi Da Yaara!_

Takeo looks behind him, to see that they were currently reversing in the direction of the edge of the mountain. "JAMES! STOP DE CAR! WE ARE GOING OFF DE EDGE! Takeo shouted.

 _Tunak Tunak Tun, Tunak Tunak Tun, Tunak Tunak Tun, Da Da Da!_

"OH SCHEISSE! TAKEO'S RIGHT! STOP ZE CAR JAMES!" Richtofen shouted in panic

 _Tunak Tunak Tun, Tunak Tunak Tun, Tunak Tunak Tun, Da Da Da!_

"I'M TRYING! THE BREAKS ARE JAMMED!" James shouted back in panic, frantically stomping on the breaks.

 _Tunak Tunak Tun, Tunak Tunak Tun, Tunak Tunak Tun, Da Da Da!_

The car was fastly approaching the edge, but finally, with one big stomp, the breaks suddenly worked again and the car immediately stopped right on the edge of the cliffside. The entire group sighed in relief, as silence reigned for a bit, as the radio somehow turned off. Suddenly, the radio started up again.

 _Tunak Tunak Tun, Tunak Tunak Tun, Tunak Tunak Tun, Da Da Da!_

However, they started panicking again when the Panzer Soldat came charging at full speed in front of them.

"JAMES! GO! GO! GO!" Dempsey screamed in panic

"I'M TRYING! THE GEAR'S JAMMED!" James shouted back, attempting to change the gear back into the drive position. Suddenly, with a might snap, the gear stick snapped in half. James (and everyone else) stared at the piece for a few seconds, before looking back up. "Oh shit." James whispered. Suddenly, the Panzer Soldat hit the car, launching both the Panzer Soldat and the car over the edge, the crew screaming in terror as the car dropped below, and the damn music still blasting.

 **End Flashback (and music)**

"Wow! Then what happened?" Harry said. He had been completely glued to the story Richtofen was telling.

"Vell, somehow, I never knew how, ve survived ze crash, gut news, ze Panzer Soldat vas dead, bad news, ze car vas kaput...especially vhen ze Panzer Soldat itself crashed onto ze car." Richtofen said, remembering that moment

 _The crew were standing around the crashed remains of their vehicle. "You think you could fix it Edward?" James asked. "Vell, perhaps..." Richtofen started saying. Suddenly, there was a deep scream, as everyone looked up, seeing the Panzer Soldat falling at fast speeds, and finally crashing onto the car, crushing it further. "...vell, maybe not...hey! Ve could still salvage ze pa-" Richtofen said, before being abruptly cut off by an explosion_

"...ja, it vas bad times." Richtofen muttered. "Anyvays, afterwards ve had to valk to ze closest city, vhich vas around 10 kilometres away by ze vay, und 'rent' anozer car, ve finished ze mission, und ve eventually fixed ze teleporter, which took about a month, und finally finished, ze end."

"Wow, are all your missions like that?" Harry asked

"Erm, more or less, anyvays, no matter how hard ze job, ve get it done."

"Could I come on one?"

"Vhat! Nein! Remember I told you about getting eaten in front of mein eyes! I don't vant zat to happen." Richtofen said. Harry pouted slightly.

"Alright, perhaps vhen you have enough experience in self defence, I could bring you on at least van mission." Richtofen said. Harry looked up with a smile. "Really?" Harry asked.

"Of course! But only after you get advanced enough, for now, I have a few books for you to study viz." Richtofen brought out 3 thick books from god knows where, and gave them to Harry. The titles read _Firearms for Beginners_ , _ABC Bang Bang-The Beginner's Guide for Firearms_ and finally _Dummies Guide for Handguns._ "I vant you to at least read ze first fifty pages of each of ze books before our next lesson, but for now it's late, time for you to get back home."

"Oh, okay." Harry said with a bit of sadness. He felt beside him, and found the Walther PPK he was using, and gave it out to Richtofen. "I bet you'd be wanting this back."

"Oh nein, nein, keep it, consider it van out of zree presents i'm going to give you." Richtofen said. Harry looked up with a shine in his eyes. "Presents?" Harry asked. "Ja, now, I vant you to regularly clean zat gun, learn every inner work of it, practice viz it, all zat stuff, anyvays, here's present number two." Richtofen pulled out a beautiful, chocolate brown, snake skin gun holster.

"Zis is a premium snake skin gun holster zat I customised mein self, it has a sticking charm on it, so you can stick it on any surface, like your side, or your pants." Richtofen said, testing it out by sticking it on his arm. "It can also readjust itself to fit any gun, however it is only limited to handguns." Richtofen got out his Luger, and hovered it on top of the holster, to see it seemingly reanimate itself to fit the Luger's shape perfectly. Harry said a silent a 'wow'. "I have also given it a 'notice-me-not' charm on it, so nobody vill notice it's zere, to deactivate it, simply think of deactivating, and it vill do so."

"I gave it it's own unique feature, where you, with a simple thought of your mind, you can instantly bring it to your hand." Richtofen put his Luger in the holster and then hovered his hand over the holster, only for the Luger to suddenly zoom up back into Richtofen's hand. "Und finally, you can also attach clips onto it, so you can quickly reload." Richtofen demonstrated by getting a clip of ammo, and sticking it on the side of the holster, sticking it. "On a minor note, I also gave it a comfort charm, so it vill feel comfortable anyvhere." Richtofen finally stopped and handed it over to Harry, who slowly took it with awe.

"Wow, but this is too much, and your going to give me another gift?" Harry asked.

"Oh come on, it's just fine, I have a bunch of ozer stuff." Richtofen said. "I advise you attach it on ze inside of your pants, some more powerful people can see ze holster if zey concentrate, und here is some extra clips." Richtofen handed over about 3 more clips to Harry.

Harry took them, and put his Walther PPK inside the holster, which fitted perfectly. He also attached the clips to the holster, and then stuck it on the inside of his pants, which instantly stuck. Letting go, it didn't seem to weigh him down, and it felt extremely snug. Harry hugged Richtofen tightly, saying 'Thank you' again and again.

"Eh! Slowly down! I still have anozer gift to give you." Richtofen said. Harry immediately took a step back, looking a bit red.

"Okay, here's your zird gift." Richtofen said. He presented Harry with a beautiful gold ring, which had the Black Sun symbol imprinted on it. "You see, in ze vizarding vorld, zere is some vizards und vitches zat can read your mind."

"Wait what?! People in the wizarding world can read my mind?!" Harry asked in shock. He didn't want anybody just going into his mind and learning everything he knew.

"Ja, scary right? Anyvays, besides looking pretty, zis ring has been enchanted to give you occlumency shields, so you can basically stop anyvan reading your mind, it can also only be removed by you vance you wear it." Richtofen said, giving it to Harry. Harry put the ring on his right ring finger, and Harry instantly felt a wave of warmth wash over him, as well as his mind feeling much more clear. Overall, he felt much more safe. "Thank you." Harry whispered.

"Don't mention it, now let's get you back to your home." Richtofen said.

Soon, Harry and Richtofen exited the room, and soon the suitcase itself. Richtofen closed the suitcase and walked outside with Harry. When they walked out of the shed, it was dark at night already, the stars gleaming, the breeze cool, and the atmosphere calm.

They stood there for a little while, reflecting on what happened recently. Richtofen felt extremely calm, for the first time in a long time, he didn't feel chaotic or wanting bloodlust, right now, he was satisfied with just taking care of Harry. "Why don't you bring me to your home." Harry said, interrupting Richtofen's thoughts. "I could live with you instead."

Richtofen chuckled, and then kneeled down at Harry. "I vould love zat Harry, however, I have a job to do, und my job tends to be very busy, it's no environment for someone your age." Richtofen said. "However, perhaps vhen you're older, I could bring you back, und maybe, just maybe, ve could give you a place to stay."

Afterwards, they simply looked up in the stars in silence once again. Later, they walked back to and entered Number 4 Privet Drive, where they encountered the Dursley family having dinner. The entire Dursley family completely froze. Petunia looked as stiff as a board. Vernon looked to be turning red with anger. And Dudley looked terrified, his steak abandoned on his plate.

"Erm, Guten nacht, Arschlöcher!** Enjoying dinner?" Richtofen said. They simply continued to stay still. Seeing that they weren't going to get any response, Richtofen turned to Harry, who had just put down his books. "Remember ze vork I set you, I vill be back in a few veeks or so."

Richtofen soon turned to the door and opened it, looking back at Harry with a smile. "Auf Wiedersehen Harry! Until next time!" Richtofen soon exited the door, and with a flash of light, was gone.

Harry smiled, and then looked back towards the Dursleys. Vernon had just got up from his chair, looking as angry as ever, while Petunia was hiding behind Vernon, and Dudley was gone.

"Boy! I think it's time we stopped all this freakishness! You are to stop meeting that man! And you are to get back to your chores!" Vernon shouted angrily.

"I don't think so Vernon." Harry said nonchalantly.

Vernon began to turn a darker shade of red. "WHY YOU LITTLE!" Vernon shouted, about to punch Harry.

Suddenly Harry summoned his Walther PPK from his holster, the gun zooming into his outstretched hand, and aimed it at Vernon. Vernon suddenly turned from a dark shade of red to completely pale in a split second, while Petunia fainted behind him.

"Now now, Vernon, remember, no more of that." Harry said smugly, cocking the PPK's hammer "Now, where's dinner? I'm famished!"

 **Meanwhile, in 935 HQ**

Richtofen soon arrived back at the base, where the team were now playing poker on the ground of the common room. Richtofen was exhausted, it had been a busy day today, and for the first time in a long time, he was looking forward to some sleep.

"Hey! Richtofen! Where the fuck were you?" Dempsey asked Richtofen from behind his cards.

"Oh, doing a small assignment, nozing more." Richtofen replied.

"Eh! Richtofen! Come join us comrade! We have room for one more!" Nikola said.

"Erm, no zank you, I am actually quiet tired...i'd prefer to get a nap, Guten Nacht." Richtofen replied, slunking down the hallway.

The team sat in silence. "Wow, must've been one hell of an assignment to get him that tired." Dempsey said. "Eh, Russman, it's your turn."

"Well." Russman said, putting down his cards with a smile. "Royal Flush."

Takeo stared after Richtofen, completely ignoring Dempsey's cursing in the background. This was strange, when did Richtofen ever get tired? In fact he'd never seen Richtofen that tired in, well, forever! Something was up, and Takeo was still suspicious.

Meanwhile, Richtofen finally entered his room, throwing away both his mini-teleporter and his suitcase, and activating the wall bed, putting down. He then slumped on the bed, and promptly fell asleep. It as some of the best sleep he had in ages.

* * *

 **A/N** **: *** "AGH! NO ONE ESCAPES THE DOCTOR!"

** "Erm, Good Night, Assholes!"

Thank you for reading! Hopefully this was a good chapter and worth the wait. Tell you the truth, I was dying to put that driving flashback into the story! And sorry for the delays, i'll make sure to try and put out another story as soon as possible (perhaps a few weeks, the latest a month), however either business, Writer's Block, or other inconveniences might take me, so I can't really guarantee anything.

Just to tell you, i've been sort of doing a small demo for this Harry Potter xover PoTc fanfiction during my time of writer's block, so I may or may not try to publish it

Anyways, now that that's setteled, here's me answering some of these reviews

 **Statess-** Thank you so much for the compliment and support, i'm especially proud to see that it came from such an experienced fanfiction writer. And you just gave me a lot of good ideas my friend

 **Guest-** Sorry for the delay, i'll make sure to get another chapter out soon

 **Jekyll2Hyde-** Thanks for the support, i'll make sure to do my best!

Anyways, until something else delays me, i'll see you again later, Auf Wiedersehen!


	4. Chapter 3: Welcome to the Danger Zone!

Disclaimer-I do not own Harry Potter or Call of Duty, both belong to their respective owners, though I wonder what "Call of Duty: Magic Warfare" would look like?

 **A/N:** Yep, another story that's come out at a pretty damn late time, sorry guys. Not only am I moving school, i'm also moving to another country, and another home, so you can understand where my extreme case of lateness comes from. Plus, i've been fussing to myself over how to type this chapter (especially how to write Takeo). On the bright side, my laptop is completely fixed! Should be no problems with that anymore. Anyways, in this chapter we'll be seeing Harry have a taste of Uncle Richtofen's job, and another member of the team learning of Harry's identity. Also, this chapter should be longer then any other so far, so I hope this is compensation for my tardiness. Also, make sure to check some of the omakes below the A/Ns at the bottom of the story!

 **Training Shack, August 1st, 1990**

It's been around 2 years since Richtofen had entered Harry's life and started training Harry in self defence, and since that time, Harry and Richtofen had been doing a lot of...activities. Richtofen had been training Harry about everything about firearms throughout training, having sessions every few weeks, and Harry had been advancing like crazy, absorbing every book Richtofen gave him and training with his now personal sidearm Walther PPK all the time. He was so good that now he could disassemble and assemble a handgun in a short amount of time, empty an entire clip into the middle of a target, and reload at a fast rate and with no complications.

With his skills the Dursley's wouldn't even dare to touch Harry, even less to confront him. When Vernon had tried to take Harry's gun one time, Harry simply discharged a round into Vernon's knee, as Richtofen had once told him, you don't need your kneecaps to live. Even when the Dursley's called the police about their cousin having a gun, the Police never found it because of the notice me not holster, as well as the fact that the Police heavily doubted that a ten year old could have a firearm.

Now the Dursley's would avoid Harry like the plague, only interacting with him when giving him food, especially when they found out Harry had also been learning how to use a knife. Yes, Richtofen had also decided to teach Harry how to use melee weapons, and Harry appeared to heavily prefer double wielding two smaller blades like daggers over using bigger blades such as swords or blunt weapons like clubs. The first time Harry used a dagger he sliced up the practice dummies to pieces, easily turning them into tiny blocks. Speaking of preferred weapons, Richtofen also started teaching Harry how to use other firearms, including sub machine guns, rifles, assault rifles, and even rocket launchers (that specific session ended with quite the bang).

Despite all the hard training, Harry loved these sessions with the now permanently named 'Uncle Richtofen', despite said 'Uncle's' disagreements with such a term, especially when Richtofen told Harry about his adventures with Harry's father and the rest of the team. The stories spread wide and far, from Second World War Berlin, all the way to an Earth where the whole world was flooded by sea. At this moment, Richtofen and Harry had just finished another session, where Harry started designing his very own firearm, and were now on the couch, where Richtofen was currently telling another story.

"And zhen someone decided to go und break ze reactor, it didn't go vell." Richtofen said.

 _ **Flashback**_

 **Over the Bastille, Paris, 14th July, 1789**

The city of Paris was in chaos, as the fires of Revolution burned across the city, citizens demanding the head of the King, his Queen, and his Royalist Court. The Bastille Prison remained one of the last Royalist Strongholds in Paris, holding supplies of guns and gunpowder that the Revolutionaries wanted. History tells you how the drawbridge of the Bastille was suddenly let down for the Revolutionaries to cross into the Prison, what they don't tell you is how it happened. As if you looked to the skies on that day, you would see the nearly invisible silhouette of a circle like craft, as well as the hearing of panicked shouts.

"WHO THE BLOODY HELL BROKE THE REACTOR!" James angrily shouted as he struggled to keep the craft stable. The inside of the craft was compact and made from dark steel and lit up via light bulbs, with different machinery parts sticking out of the walls, like the insides of a U-Boat. However at the moment the inside of the craft was full of blaring sirens, and lit up with red lights as the alarm sounded. "HERE WE WERE FLYING ACROSS PARIS, CLOAKED, NOTHING HAPPENING, WHEN SUDDENLY THE REACTOR FAILED! WHAT HAPPENED!"

"Um-it vas Nikolai! He dropped vodka all over ze reactor und it malfunctioned!" Richtofen shouted out, rushing around flicking switches.

"What? It was your fault Richtofen! You were the one messing with the controls!" Nikolai loudly replied, clutching a vodka bottle to his chest.

"I vas recalibrating it!" Richtofen shouted back "In fact, i'm fairly certain I saw Dempsey kicking ze ficking zhing!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU FUCKING SAY YOU GOD DAMN NAZI BASTARD?!" Dempsey angrily shouted, while at the same time fixing a loose bolt with a wrench.

"I'm saying it's your fault!" Richtofen shouted back. "If it vasn't for your damn anger issues, ve vouldn't be in zis mess!"

Just as Dempsey was about to reply, Takeo intervened.

"Friends! Dis will not herp us! Compraining in this hour of imminent disaster wirr onry lead to...disaster!" Takeo shouted, not particularly doing anything

"FUCK YOU TAK! No one fucking accuses me and get's away with it!" Dempsey shouted back, this time hitting the machinery with his wrench.

"Can you guys SHUT UP AND HELP!" James shouted suddenly.

"What the fuck are you shouting about?" Dempsey shouted back

"What am I-, i'm trying to fly a FUCKING STEEL AIRCRAFT WITH NO POWER SOURCE!" James shouted.

"Vell technically, it's made of a gold-titanium alloy painted bla-." Richtofen started saying.

"THAT'S IT RICHTOFEN! TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!" Dempsey shouted out, running at Richtofen with his wrench. Richtofen made a particularly girly shriek and started running around the craft, with Dempsey hot on his tail, shouting out curses, and waving around the wrench.

"Oh, please WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP!" James shouted, still grasping the controls. Suddenly, there was a whirring noise, as suddenly the lights started shutting off.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" James shouted out. Soon, the entire craft shutdown completely. "Why didn't I listen to Lily and stay home this time..."

The invisible UFO dropped out of the sky, crashing into the top of the gate, breaking the chains and letting down the draw bridge. The Revolutionaries didn't have second thoughts as they charged into the Bastille, massacring all in their way. Not a single one noticed the big hole on top of the Bastille.

 _ **Back to the Present**_

"Ze crash vas pretty bad, James got a concussion, Nikolai got stabbed in several places by broken bottle shards, Dempsey sprained his ankle, und mein arm got broken...not by ze crash, Dempsey got to me before he got ze sprain." Richtofen said, with a tinge of annoyance. "For some reason, Takeo vas just fine, vell zat's vhat you expect from a ninja."

Harry snickered a bit, making Richtofen smile. Richtofen himself had also been enjoying these lessons with Harry, as Richtofen had many times said before, 'It made him feel so alive!' Slowly he felt his humanity seem to come back to hi- ah, wait, it's gone.

"So who was the zombie this time?" Harry asked. By this time, Harry had heard many stories from Richtofen, and almost all of them were from one of his zombie hunting missions. He hadn't exactly explained to Harry where the zombie infection came from, only that there was one, and that occasionally some poor bastard will get infected by it and had to get put down.

"Turned out to be ze commander of ze Bastille, zhough he vas only infected, he had about a day left before he turned." Richtofen continued. "Of course, we were pretty tired from crashing into ze place in ze first place, along viz having to kill several Loyalist Guards, ve decided not to kill him."

"But isn't that your job?" Harry questioned

"Ja, but ve decided to let ze rebels have a shot."

 _Richtofen and Co. stood on top of the fort, watching as the Commander of the Bastille was gruesomely ripped to shreds by the Revolutionaries. Blood everywhere, limbs falling, and the blood-curling screams from the commander, and you have yourself a pretty damn disgusting scene. The 5 looked on in silence, some slightly disgusted despite their very much gruesome profession. "...Does anyvon vant pizza?" Richtofen suddenly said. Everyone else suddenly looked towards him, most thinking that the comment didn't fit the current situation...well, most of them. "I do!" Nikolai replied happily._

Richtofen seemed to simply look out into the distance, eyes glazed with a creepy smile, making Harry feel uncomfortable. Despite all the fun times they were having, he still found him slightly disturbing sometimes.

Richtofen seems to snap out of it, and looks down at his watch. "Erm, vell, anyvays, I hope you liked today Harry, any questions?"

"Ya, can I use that now?" Harry asked, pointing towards Richtofen's DG2 which was on the table.

Richtofen sighed "Nein, Harry, I'm not going to let you use ze DG2."

"Aww, it doesn't have to be the DG2!"

"Nein Harry, i'm not going to give you a vundervaffe."

"Please?"

"Nein, Harry, I am a high functioning sociopath, und even i'm not crazy enough to give you a vundervaffe, especially at your age." Harry had been asking a lot about Richtofen's profession the past month, so when he had shown Harry the capabilities of the DG2, and the fact that there were more of them (wonder weapons) with different abilities, let's just say Harry really wanted one, REALLY wanted one.

"Oh come on! When?" Harry whined.

"Erm...vhen you're 15." Richtofen replied.

"But, that's years from now!"

"Oh come on, it's only five years, zat's like a few months at least for me...it could also be decades, but still."

Harry crossed his arms and made an annoyed expression, but then lit up a bit and was about to open his mouth before Richtofen interrupted him. "Also, nein, you can't go on van of mein missions, zat vould be until you're at least 20." Harry returned to his annoyed expression. Along with wonder weapons, Harry had also been extremely interested in Richtofen's absurd, exciting and seemingly often fun missions. He recently had aspirations to go on one such mission, like how his father did before. Unfortunately for him, Richtofen wasn't having any of it.

Richtofen walked up to Harry and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, don't be like zat, everyzhing i'm doing for you is so you can be better prepared for ze future."

Harry relaxed slightly. "I just want to be like my dad."

Richtofen could feel his heart clench on itself slightly. Richtofen had been devoting more time to training Harry so he could perhaps (in his eyes) redeem himself for failing James and Lily by not being able to save them, and for leaving Harry for such a long time, and with abusive relatives to top it all off. He swore that no matter what, he would protect Harry with his life, and try to make him happy with equally as much effort.

"Und you vill, don't vorry, I can already tell you're going to be a great person in ze future Harry." Richtofen replied.

"Really?" Harry asked.

"I'm a time traveller! Of course i'm right!" Richtofen said with mirth

Harry smirked, and completely relaxed afterwards. Richtofen smiled along with him, and started to walk towards the door. "I'll get you some sandviches for ze trip back to Privet Drive."

As Richtofen exited, Harry looked around the room. Even though he wasn't sleeping here, 'The Suitcase' (as they started calling it) was more home to Harry then Privet Drive ever was. The formerly pristine white walls were currently covered in scorch marks. There were many dummies, most of them sliced apart or having gaping holes in them from gun shots. There was also a long table, with plenty of goodies such as handguns, shotguns, sub machine guns, daggers, swords, and more! By now, Harry had used almost all of them, and mastered about half of them. The only problem now was his small size.

Looking around more, Harry's eyes caught sight on something in the corner. As he walked over to it, he realised that it was Richtofen's teleporter, which Richtofen would take off during training. It was amazing how what looked like a backpack made of what seemed like random pieces of junk could send you across the multiverse and all of time. Harry was about to turn around and go to Richtofen, when a sudden thought came to mind. _"I wonder how it works?"_ Harry turned back around, staring at the teleporter.

His conscious seemed to be having a war in his head, one side telling him to leave it alone, while the other telling him to go pick it up, it won't bite. Eventually, one side won out. _"Eh, what's the worst that could happen."_ Harry thought to himself. Going over to the teleporter, he put the clunky teleporter pack (with a lot of effort) on his back, and put the control on his wrist. Both looked old and clunky, the controller looking like a smaller yet still clunky computer strapped to his wrist.

" _Okay, what now?"_ Harry thought, looking at the controller _"I wonder what this button does."_ Staring at the big red button on the side of the screen, Harry pressed it. Suddenly, there was a loud whirring noise, as the screen suddenly loaded up a bar that was slowly filling up, with the words 'Teleporter charging' below it on the screen. Harry started to panic, trying to get the thing off his back, however the bar suddenly filled up, and the words changed to 'Hold on to your hats!'

Harry only had one thought, summing it up in a swear word he had heard his uncle say across the years. "Scheisse." Harry said as he was engulfed by a ball of light, a loud bang going along with it.

Meawhile, Richtofen had been scrounging through a fridge in a surprisingly clean kitchen, when suddenly a large noise went off, shocking Richtofen, causing him to jerk up and hit his head on the fridge. Dazed by the hit, he accidentally dropped the plate of sandwiches he had with him, splattering them across the ground. _"Vhat?"_ Richtofen thought to himself. "Harry?"

Richtofen started walking towards the exit to the kitchen, however slipped on the sandwich remains he had dropped on the grounds, causing him to fall and hit his head again with a yelp. A now in pain and dazed Richtofen slowly got up from the floor, walking around unstably like a drunk man. However, his misfortune did not stop there, as Richtofen forgot that there was a closed door in his way, and promptly went face first into the door, knocking him down once again.

"Vhy, vhy must ze doktor alvways suffer in ze head." Richtofen groaned in pain as he lifted himself back up, contemplating whether he should get a helmet or not. Richtofen shakily turned the knob on the door, before walking out, heading down the long hall towards the training room.

"Harry?" Richtofen called out. No response. Richtofen, growing slightly more anxious, started quickening his pace. "Harry? Are you zhere?" Once again, no response. This time, despite his near-concussion like headache, he started fast walking. A few more minutes of calling out, Richtofen had gone into a full blown sprint, cursing the fact of how far away the kitchen was to the training room.

Reaching the door, he attempted to open it, but found it had been closed. "Please state your identity." The panel said in a robotic voice. Quickly, Richtofen pricked himself with his dagger, and pressed it against the panel. "Scanning, identity: mayonnaise." The panel said.

"Vhat?" Richtofen said. Looking down, he finally noticed how his hand was covered in sandwich bits.

"Blood not accepted, access denied, intruder detected, prepare to feel the short experience of death." The voice said.

Suddenly, a surge of electricity appeared, attacking Richtofen. Richtofen started moving sporadically, making gurgling noises as the electricity surged through his body. It finally stopped, and Richtofen fell backwards unconscious, making the occasional spasm.

 **Abandoned Planet, Dimension: Unknown, Time: Unknown, Apothicon Empire**

Formerly known as Pandora, it was once a mighty civilisation, the capital of a mighty empire that spanned several systems. Well, once, that was until the zombies came. Pandora and her empire were one of the nations among countless other civilisations that fell to the Undead Apothicon Empire's sudden return and conquest spree across the multiverse. They fought tooth and nail to protect their borders, but once the 115 came and the infection spread, it was to late. Now, the once beautiful urban capital was a waste land, with it's planetary capital, Pandorica, in complete ruin, with the fires still raging.

Only the dead and undead now populated the planet, well, almost only, as in the middle of the desolate city, a sudden flash of light appeared along with a loud noise, and out of thin air, a child around the age of ten appeared. Harry immediately got on his knees and promptly started puking out his guts from the extremely uncomfortable journey. After several more minutes of continuous heaving, gagging and coughing, Harry finally stood up.

" _Oh God, how does Uncle Richtofen go to places using this thing without getting sick?"_ Harry thought. Speaking of places, Harry thought, where exactly was he? Harry started looking around, taking in the view. The sky was completely dark, whether it was night or was covered by smoke, he didn't know. His surroundings reminded him a bit of London (the Dursley's had occasionally driven him there)... that is if London was bombed, nuked and razed at the same time. Ruins...ruins as far as the eye can see, buildings toppled over, fires spreading, smoke everywhere, not a single building looking clean or recently inhabited in the slightest.

Harry gulped. _"What have I gotten myself into?"_ As Harry looked around, he suddenly saw a silhouette that resembled a person, except taller. He cautiously started walking towards it, as it was to far away to see clearly. Harry was finally close enough to see the silhouette and it's features, but what Harry saw made him gasp. It was like how Uncle Richtofen had described to him, lifeless pose, rotting flesh, but what was so distinctive were those bright glowing eyes. A zombie.

Strangely enough, Harry thought that he'd be encountering a human zombie, but the living corpse looked was coloured blue, had pointy ears, and a...tail? Almost looked like some sort of... giant blue cat person or something. Harry had to admit, he thought his first encounter with a zombie would be more...exciting, but this was rather depressing overall. Suddenly, the zombie cat person looked right, towards Harry's direction. Harry promptly hid behind a broken down fountain in the middle of a town square.

Harry tried not to breath as he heard limping foot steps coming towards him, the zombie walking over to investigate the sudden movement. It was so close that Harry could see the thing looking over the small wall he was hiding behind. He clenched his eyes together, counting to ten in his mind, attempting to do no sudden movements at all. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the zombie lost interest and turned around, walking away to resume it's march of the damned through the ruins.

Harry made a huge sigh of relief. Suddenly, the prospect of meeting zombies wasn't that appealing to him anymore, as he looked down to his wrist control. "Alright, fun's over, time to go." Harry mumbled. He pressed the big red button on the controller, bracing himself for the journey he knew was coming. But something was wrong, as instead of making a rising whirring noise, the teleporter seemed to fail, making deep groans. "What?"

Harry pressed the button again, the teleporter making the same disappointing noise. "Come on, you stupid machine, work!" Harry mumbled. As he continued his attempts, the undead cat person had heard the ruckus behind the fountain, and started to walk back to investigate.

As Harry pressed the button for the 8th time, the wrist controller sparked with electricity, making Harry yelp and removing the controller from his wrist. Suddenly, the teleporter on his back started to smoke, and Harry quickly discarded it as well, just before it made a small explosion.

"Oh great." Harry mumbled, kicking the teleporter. Now how was he going to get home? Before he could start thinking, he heard a groan from behind him. Cautiously, Harry slowly turned around, seeing the zombie only 5 feet away from him. They appeared to stare at each other for a little bit, before the zombie made a demonic roar and started fast limping towards Harry.

" _Home can come later!"_ Harry thought as he turned and ran in the other direction, screaming _"Right now I need to **not** get eaten first!" _

**Meanwhile, Shortly Afterwards**

 **Training Shack, August 1st, 1990**

Richtofen re-awoke with a painful groan, clutching his extremely aching head. He tried to remember the past hour or so, and why he was in pain everywhere. Suddenly, it struck him. He had been getting sandwiches, when suddenly there was a sound where Harry wa-

 _Harry_

Slightly panicking, Richtofen got up on his feet, which only worsened his headache, and quickly went up to the panel. "Please state your identity." It stated. Richtofen, in not mood to repeat any mistakes, simply punched through the panel, and took out a handful of wires, the panel sparking, the door opening a short while after.

Richtofen smiled maniacally at how easy it was, that was until he started smelling something. It turned out that the sparks from the wires had got on his sleeve, setting them on fire. Richtofen shrieked in surprise, dropping the wires and putting out the fire with his other hand.

Richtofen would've taken the time to contemplate how unfair life was to him, if Harry was not at the moment in potential danger. "Harry!" Richtofen shouted, rushing into the room. "Harry?" Richtofen looked around. It seemed the exact same as Richtofen had left, except with one notable difference. Harry wasn't there.

Searching further, he looked in the corner where his teleporter usually was...except it wasn't there. It didn't take long for Richtofen to realise what had happened to Harry, mentally cursing himself for adding a random target button. His self-loathing was quickly replaced by worry, and soon panic. Gott knew where Harry was at the moment! "Unless..." Richtofen muttered to himself.

Richtofen quickly summoned up a computer and a desk. Stretching his fingers, he quickly started typing into the computer, finding the app he was looking for. It was in case any Zombie Hunters were stranded with their teleporter, it would immediately send out a distress signal. Trying to find his teleporter, Richtofen typed in it's number name, however showed up blank.

Richtofen cursed, this could only mean 1 thing: the teleporter was destroyed. Massaging his templates, Richtofen thought of another way to find Harry. But then he remembered. Slapping himself for being so stupid, Richtofen got off his chair and took out his advanced Holographic Iphone 12X. At first sight, it didn't look like a phone at all, only 2 metal cylinders attached to each other. Richtofen proceeded to hold both cylinders and spread them apart, revealing a blue holographic screen. Quickly typing in his password on the holographic touch screen, he went to another app that was on his phone. This one was to track the locations of beacons he had given out, such as the one he had given Harry. The reason he had rarely used was because...well, Richtofen was not a peeping Tom. That, and the fact that Harry was the only one he's given a beacon to. Which technically means he had planted a tracking device on Harry...ya, better not to think about that.

The beeping of his phone interrupted his thoughts, telling him the coordinates. Quickly, he spawned a giant hologram of the multiverse, and typed in the coordinates. The giant holographic map of the multiverse zoomed in, showing Richtofen where Harry was. Aaaaand...No. Richtofen slightly panicked _"Nein, nein, nein, that can't be right."_ Richtofen restarted the hologram and typed the coordinates again, the hologram zooming into the same planet.

"Nein, nein, nein, nein, NEIN!" Richtofen screamed. _"Out of all zhe planets in ze multiverse it could bring Harry, ze teleporter picked a planet controlled by ze FICKING APOTHICONS!"_ at the very least it was a border planet, if it was a core world, there wouldn't have been a chance at all that Harry was alive. But Richtofen could only imagine the amount of terror Harry currently was in, and he needed to help him.

But what could he do? He didn't have a teleporter, he could make a temporary one, but that'd take to long, he needed to do something. _"Come on Edward! Think! Think! Think!_ " Richtofen thought. Finally, he faced back up, and realised he had only one choice. Getting out his phone, he started looking through his contacts. He had been keeping Harry a secret for these past few weeks...years in Harry's case Richtofen guessed. For reasons...actually he didn't know why. _Why_ exactly had he been keeping Harry a secret again? Must've just slipped his mind.

Still, that could be solved later, for now he had to help Harry. Cycling through, he finally found the contact he was looking for. Tapping it, he put the phone up to his ear, waiting for him to answer.

 **935 Common Room, Somewhere in the Multiverse**

Takeo was walking towards the fridge in the corner, contemplating his current mystery: Richtofen. For the past weeks he had been watching Richtofen closely while the others were practically ignoring him. Usually during these breaks, Richtofen would hangout in the common room, making the occasional tinkering with machinery. However lately he had been disappearing more often to god knows where, and when he came back, he seemed pretty exhausted. Any attempts at asking him was ignored, furthering Takeo's suspicions. Whatever Richtofen was doing, it couldn't be good. That's why for the good of the group, he was going to confront Richtofen when he came back, and force him to tell him what he was hiding.

As he opened the fridge, and grabbed a canned green tea from the fridge, opening it while simultaneously closing it with his foot. Taking a sip from the can, he suddenly felt a vibrating in his pocket. Diverting his drink to his left hand, he used his right hand and put it in his pocket, taking out his ringing flip phone. Unlike some of the others in his group, he wasn't a tech junkie or anything like that, so preferred more old fashioned designs, hence why he got a flip phone instead of anything more advanced like a touch screen phone, or a holograph phone.

Anyways, flipping up the phone, seeing the screen made him smirk slightly. Speak of the devil, and he will appear. Answering the call, he put the phone up to his ear. "Herro Richtofen." Takeo said.

"Takeo! Thank Gott! Listen, Takeo, I need you to do a favour." Richtofen said.

"Wait a second, what is de hurry, is it to do with your little project?" Takeo said smugly.

"Oh come on! Not right now Richtofen, listen, you have to-"

"No! You listen to me Richtofen! I have seen you dese past few weeks, and I know whatever you are up to is bad news for de rest of us, and unless you want me to go to de Director concerning it, you are going to tell me what it i-"

"IT'S HARRY!" Richtofen interrupted

Takeo blinked. That wasn't what he expected his answer to be. "Harry what?"

"Harry Potter." Richtofen replied

"James's Son?" Takeo asked.

"Nein, Maxis's son...OF COURSE JAMES'S SON! WHO ELSE DO YOU KNOW IS NAMED HARRY FICKING POTTER!" Richtofen screamed, making Takeo flinch from the loud volume.

This wasn't the response Takeo was expecting at all. At first, he'd thought Richtofen was making some sort of big bomb or modified serum that could potentially end in disaster, but this was far from any of it. In fact he might call it good news if it was true! But...

"How do I know you're not lying?" Takeo asked suspiciously

"Mein Gott, I don't have time for zis, here, i'm sending you a photo." Richtofen replied.

A _ding_ sounded on Takeo's phone, as he looked at his chat and saw a picture that slightly surprised him. It was Richtofen, looking like a normal happy person, but what drew him was the child beside him. He looked around 10 or so years old, messy black hair that could only come from James (along with those glasses), as well as the man's cheek bones and overall face structure, and bright emerald eyes that could only belong to Lily. Overall, he looked like a carbon copy of James with Lily's eyes, this could only be his late best friend's offspring.

Takeo was quite for a few seconds, before bringing the phone back to his ear. "...why didn't you terr anybody?" He asked

"Erm...vell it kind of...slipped from mein mind." Richtofen replied

Takeo smiled, Richtofen always seemed to forget things, despite his boastings of his superior intellect to everyone else. "Werr, how is he?"

"Oh! He's great! I met him a few weeks ago! Having some time togezer! But zat's not ze reason I called." Richtofen said. Once again, there was a small silence.

"Aaaaand..." Takeo asked after a bit.

"...erm, I sort of...lost Harry." Richtofen finally admitted

Takeo narrowed his eyes "What do you mean, 'lost him'?" He said in a serious voice.

"Uhhhh..." Richtofen muttered, nervous under the suddenly tense voice of Takeo

"Richtofen, I have just found out that our late brother's offspring is alive, and you better tell me what you have done to him, or I wirr kirl you!" Takeo shouted out into the phone

"OKAY! Okay!...Harry may or may not have...stolen mein teleporter und randomly vent to somewhere...bad." Richtofen nervously replied.

Takeo breathed in, it was bad enough that Harry had teleported to god knows where, but the fact Richtofen knew where it was and considered it 'bad', well, let's just say that shit's gonna go down. "Bad?" Takeo asked

"He...landed in Pandora." Richtofen finally said.

Takeo's eyes widened. "But that is Apothicon territory!"

"I know! It's bad!" Richtofen replied

"Why did you not stop him?!"

"It vasn't mein fault! I vas out getting sandviches! Ach! it doesn't matter! You have to go get him! I'm sending you ze coordinates, grab a teleporter und put it in."

"But dat is against de rules!" Takeo objected

"Vat matters more? James's son or stealing somezhing?"

Takeo raised his left eyebrow. He never knew Richtofen was this responsible before, he hadn't heard him being this caring for a long time. He sighed. "Very werr, I'll get de teleporter and den i'll pick you u-"

"Nein! Zat vould take too long, get to Harry first!" Richtofen interrupted

"But den how wirr you get dere?"

"I'll figure somezhing out! For now, go get zhe damn zhing und get Harry! Also, get some help if possible, Pandora may only be a border planet, but it is shtill a tough nut, excuse mein Americanism." Richtofen replied.

"Very well, I expect you see you soon Richtofen, Takeo signing out." Takeo said, flipping down his phone and pocketing it, while chugging his green tea and throwing it to the ground. He quickly turned over to Dempsey and Nikolai, who were both playing some VR game.

"Come on! It could grip it by the husk!" Dempsey said to Nikolai while seemingly shooting an invisible gun

"It not a question of where it grips it!" Nikolai replied, who was swinging around his hand as if swinging an axe. "It's a simple question of weight ratio, a 5 ounce bird, could not carry a one pound coconut!"

"Dempsey! Nikolai!" Takeo called out

"Well it could be carried by an African Swallow." Dempsey interjected

"Ya, well, an African maybe, but not a European Swallow." Nikolai replied

"Guys?" Takeo called out again impatiently

"Besides, African Swallows are non-migratory, so it wouldn't matter anyways." Nikolai continued

"Oh right." Demspey replied

"HEY!" Takeo finally shouted out

Dempsey lifted up his visor, turning to Takeo. "Shut the fuck up Takeo! We're busy!" Dempsey said before putting his visor back down.

"Da, what he said." Nikolai also said.

Takeo sighed. _"I guess this is a solo mission."_ Takeo thought to himself. Takeo quickly rushed out of the room, grabbing his Katana from the counter as well as a Type 99 Arisaka Rifle and a bag of stick grenades along the way. Attaching the Katana and it's case on his belt and strapping his bag of grenades around his shoulder, he quickly ran over to the teleporter room, both hands gripping his rifle, where they stored all the teleporters.

As he entered the room, which revealed rows of identical mini-teleporters like Richtofen's, Takeo quickly picked up the one closest to him with his left hand and putting it on. He then put on the wrist controller on his right wrist, quickly typing in the coordinates Richtofen sent him. A man of what looked like Mexican descent with a big moustache, wearing a red bandana, unbuttoned vest, black pants and black boots, walked into the teleporter room.

"HEY! What the fuck are you doing with my teleporter?" The man shouted

"My apologies Trejo, but I need dis for an honourable quest." Takeo replied

Before Trejo could interject, Takeo disappeared in a flash of light

 **Pandora, Time: Unknown, Apothicon Empire**

Takeo appeared on the ruined streets of Pandorica, looking around the ancient wasteland. Gripping his rifle, he started looking around, searching for any signs of life. Suddenly, he heard a scream of panic, and started running in that direction. Running around a street corner, he bumped into a small fast moving projectile, knocking him on his back.

Sitting back up, he quickly aimed his rifle at the what he assumed to be a threat, until he saw 2 bright, youthful green eyes staring at him. Takeo looked at the dirty, panting young boy with messy black hair and green eyes. Takeo soon realised this was Harry, and lowered his rifle, standing back up and offering his hand to Harry. Harry quickly grabbed his hand and was pulled up. "Wh-who a-are you?" Harry stuttered

Takeo put on his most calming smile. "Do not worry, my name is Takeo Masaki, and I am a friend of Edward Richtofen, I am here to bring you back home."

Harry's eyes seemed to shine with hope, but the moment was interrupted by a loud demonic shriek. Looking up and aiming his rifle, Takeo saw zombies running down the street. Lots of zombies.

 **About an hour earlier**

Harry ran down the street as the zombie cat person continued to relentlessly chase down Harry. Harry was panting heavily as he ran as fast as he can. He hadn't needed to run this fast since one of Dudley's Harry Hunting sessions. Yet, he was filled with so adrenaline and, strangely enough, excitement. Even more strange was the weird tingling feeling he had in his chest, he could only say that he had never felt so _alive_! But, that adrenaline and excitement was overtaken by that sense of fear, fear of being brutally mauled and eaten.

Quickly turning right into a tight alley, he continued to run, looking back to check whether the zombie was still on him, before slamming into an object, knocking him down. Harry got up in pain as he massaged the bump that was forming on his forehead, while picking up his glasses which came off when he hit. Putting them on, he looked in front of him, only to find himself in a dead end.

Harry started turning around to run out, when he saw the zombie, quickly approaching, screeching inhumanely as it charged at Harry. Harry was facing the zombie, back on the wall. So this was how he was going to die, in god knows where, torn apart horribly by an undead monster, where nobody would probably remember him. He clenched his eyes together as he waited for the inevitable, before opening his eyes when it struck him.

He had a _gun_. Quickly, Harry summoned his PPK and aimed at the zombie, which was around 20 feet away. Time seemed to slow down as Harry remembered his training, slowing his breath rate, breathing in and out, before pulling the trigger.

There was a _BANG!_ , and suddenly a giant body fell on Harry, throwing him to the floor. Harry panicked and pulled off the body, before quickly standing up, blue blood spread on his white shirt and blue jeans. Looking down, he found the body of the now once again dead zombie, a bullet hole in the middle of it's forehead and another out the other side in the back of the head. Harry's eyes widened in shock.

He had _killed_ something! All this time he had been shooting dummies, but he had actually shot and killed something. Sure, it was a feral, cannibalistic monster, and sure it was technically already dead, but still. Harry simply looked at the body for a few minutes, before hearing another demonic roar. Turning his head, he found a second zombie charging down the alleyway towards Harry.

Harry simply pointed and again fired at the zombie, it's head blowing up in a splash of blood and gore, blood and brains splatting on Harry's face, covering his glasses and face. Wiping it off his face and cleaning his glasses, he soon found yet _another_ zombie charging at him, which he also easily dispatched.

Soon he found why Richtofen loved this so much, this was so much _bloody_ fun! Harry started walking down the alleyway, shooting down another zombie with a "Ha!" He quickly arrived outside of the alleyway, where he found several more zombies. Harry made a feral grinned as he brought up his PPK again and started shooting each zombie one by one, bringing them down as they attempted to charge him down.

Soon he started laughing slightly as he changed the clip of his gun, when it came to him. _"My God! I'm turning into Uncle Richtofen!"_ Harry said. Although Harry loved his uncle, he still was wary of his slight insanity, and his seemingly adoring attitude towards violence and gore. _"Ya, better take it down a notch."_

Harry simply started firing bullet after bullet into zombie after zombie, often killing in one blow in the head. However, soon more zombies were approaching do to the sound of gunfire, and Harry was finding it harder and harder every minute to stop the flow of zombies that was steadily approaching, and getting bigger. It got so big that soon the streets were filled with corpses. Harry was panting heavily at this point, covered in dirt, blood, gore, and other nasty things. The last zombie had come way too close for comfort, and Harry was starting to think whether standing his ground was the best idea.

"Okay, maybe it's about time for me to get out of here." Harry muttered to him. Before he could start walking, he heard a growl behind him. Wide-eyed, Harry slowly turned around, only to come face to face with a dead face and 2 glowing yellow eyes in a metal case. Stepping back, he looked at the recent addition to his enemies.

This zombie looked extremely armoured, wearing what looked like an Astronaut Suit made of steel, with a black cross on it's chest and a giant light on it's helmet. It also had 2 arms, one with some sort of gun, and the other with what looked like a claw. This was the Panzer Soldat, and it had just found it's next victim.

At first, the 2 simply stared at each other, the Panzer Soldat looking on as if contemplating whether to kill him or not. Harry took this as a chance to escape, and took one step back, which triggered the zombie immediately, the beast roaring. Harry yelped and rose his PPK, firing 4 rounds into the armoured zombie, all that simply bounced off, before there were only clicks.

"Come on, come on." Harry muttered, taking out his PPK clip and awaiting another to leap into his hand, except there were none. Harry lifted his holster, only to find that he had no more clips left. "Oh no." Harry looked back up, where the Panzer Soldat once again roared and this time charged at Harry.

Harry quickly dodged left, barely missing the Panzer Soldat, which crashed through a wall and decimated the ruined house. Harry started running down the street, not looking back, as he heard several more shrieks and groans from more zombies. _"I want to go home now! I want to go home now! I want to go home now!"_ Harry mentally screamed as he ran.

Harry had just turned the corner when he bumped into something. Thinking it a zombie, he crawled away slightly, however he soon got a good look at the thing he bumped into. The thing was in fact an asian man, he wore a green military uniform and a cap with a star on. He held a rifle in his hands, and had what looked like some sort of sword strapped to his belt. The asian man had been aiming his rifle at Harry in his place on the ground, before lowering it when he noticed who it was.

Harry didn't know anything about this man, hell, he could be an illusion or something. But he was the only living thing he had seen so far in this entire city, and damn it, he'd prefer someone living then the dead eating up. "Wh-who a-are you?" Harry finally said, cursing his nerves

The Asian man smiled. "Do not worry, my name is Takeo Masaki, and I am a friend of Edward Richtofen, I am here to bring you back home."

Harry's eyes widened at the hearing of Uncle Richtofen. So he was going to be saved, that was a relief. Just as Harry was going to ask where Richtofen was exactly, there was a loud zombie shriek, as Harry turned around, seeing masses of zombies. Maybe he should retract his 'being saved' statement and save it for later.

Takeo put on a serious face as he spotted the masses of zombies. "Stay back Harry, I will handre this." Harry was about to interject, before Takeo rushed forwards. Takeo started firing his rifle with deadly accuracy, falling zombie after zombie while reloading with lightning speed. As he fell another zombie, Takeo saw a particularly clumped group of zombies, and picked up a grenade from his satchel, pulling off the pin with his teeth and throwing it, blowing up the group of zombies.

He continued this process for a little while before one zombie got too close, attempting to claw at Takeo. Takeo dodged the hit, while hitting the zombie in the stomach with his rifle butt, making the zombie bend over from the blast, and slamming the rifle down into the zombie's skull, penetrating it. Takeo saw that now the zombies were quickly approaching, and knew that now was the time for close quarter combat.

Throwing away his rifle, Takeo clutched his right hand on the hilt of his katana, his left clutching the scabbard, breathing in and out to calm himself. As the first zombie charged at Takeo, getting a few feet away, Takeo drew the katana upwards, slicing the zombie across the chest, killing it instantly. The second zombie charged at Takeo shortly after, Takeo clutching the hilt with both hands, the katana still raised in the air from the previous attack, as he brought it down, slicing through another zombie, and then slicing up with his blade towards the next zombie, decapitating it. All of this happening in one sequence and almost as fast as lightning. The way Takeo fought reminded Harry (who was simply looking on from a distance) of those Samurai people from those movies he and Richtofen watched before.

Takeo charged forwards, a zombie pouncing on him but simply being thrown away and then stabbed when down, Takeo then rolling into a kneeling position right in front of a zombie, slicing off it's legs, it's momentum carrying it a few more feet, leaving it's legless body just in front of Harry, the young boy looking at Takeo in awe. That was before the legless zombie suddenly lived again, trying to bite at Harry and dragging itself with it's arms. Harry moved away and quickly grabbed a stray brick, slamming it into the zombie's head, breaking it's skull, killing it.

" _Okay, be a bit more aware of your surroundings Harry."_ Harry thought to himself, before being distracted once again by the glory that was Takeo slicing through zombies.

Takeo got back up just in time to catch a zombie charging at him, grabbing it by the neck with his left hand and keeping it an arm's distance away, 2 more zombies bumping behind it. The zombie attempted to bite at Takeo to no avail, while Takeo brought up the katana in his right hand and stabbed through, impaling the first, second and third zombies in one mighty stroke.

The zombies continued to spasm for a few more seconds before going limp, Takeo drawing the katana out of their bodies as they fell on the floor. Takeo continued on his rampage, shredding through the horde of zombies, blood and body parts on the ground everywhere. The amount of death happening on this one street was unimaginable. When finally, it stopped. Takeo stood there, panting slightly from the exhaustion of killing so many zombies. Turning around, he saw that he had advanced around 75 yards, and throughout that distance you could see piles of cut up corpses completely enveloping the ruined street.

" _Well, that was fun."_ Takeo thought to himself. "Are you okay Harry?" Takeo shouted. He could see Harry nod in the distance, smiling. Takeo himself was also smiling, that is until he noticed that Harry's happy grin had turned into a face of horror and panic and was pointing behind him.

Takeo slowly turned around, only to come face to face with a Panzer Soldat, in all it's armoured glory. Takeo slowly raised his katana in an attack position. _"This is where the fun begins."_ Takeo thought to himself, and with a cry, charged at the armoured beast.

 **Meanwhile, an hour earlier, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey, England, August 1st 1990**

As soon as Takeo had hung up, Richtofen had rushed out of the personal training area and packed up the expansion charmed suitcase, shrinking it and putting it in his pocket, running as fast as he could. He knew he couldn't go anywhere without a teleporter, luckily, Richtofen was a genius, and genius's improvised to success. He soon arrived at the front door of Harry's hated relatives. Why was he picking this house for it? Because he wanted to mess with them some more.

Temporarily shutting off the wards as he usually did every trip, Richtofen was about to knock, when he slowly backed away, and did the simple alternative, kicking down the door with a mighty bang. He speed walked inside, past a shocked Petunia, and encountering a furious looking Vernon. "YOU!" Vernon boomed "We already agreed to your terms, we don't want your freakishness anymore then we have t-"

"Sorry, can't play, on a tight schedule, here's your monzly income." Richtofen speedily interjected while shooting Vernon in the leg along the way, Vernon collapsing in pain while Petunia shrieked in horror. Dudley was hiding behind the couch, the smell of piss and feces already rising from his general area. _"HA! Never gets old."_ Richtofen cheerfully thought to himself, before wiping away the expression in the place of a serious one. No, fun could come later, right now Harry needed his help.

Richtofen ran to the kitchen area, grabbing all types of appliances such as the microwave, the blender, grabbing out a few pieces from the oven, and more. After getting a cacophony of kitchen machinery, he started tying and connecting them together, with the occasional smacking. Suddenly, he stopped midway. "Do you have any duct tape und tell me vhere it is if zhere is?" Richtofen shouted. Vernon and Petunia had fainted (Vernon from blood loss, how he hasn't died from it continuos to be mystery to Richtofen to this very day) and so were indisposed, Dudley (from behind the sofa) pointed at the top drawer.

Richtofen opened the drawer, finding some duck tape. "Ah, danke." Richtofen said, tearing out a strip of tape before freezing. "Vait a second, who keeps duct tape in zheir kitchen?" This time nobody answered. A few minutes later, Richtofen had finished his temporary teleporter. A very, very temporary teleporter.

The entire machine looked like...well, looked like a bunch of kitchen appliances and parts strapped together using duct tape. In the cacophony of mess you could make out a microwave, a blender, a timer, part of an oven and more. Richtofen put the temporary teleporter on his back (the straps made of duct tape), and typed in the coordinates (the keyboard was made from spoons and forks in the form of switches), before turning to the mostly unconscious Dursley's (Dudley had fainted from how bad his excretions smelled).

"I zhank you all for your hospitality und cooperation und am said to go, however, duty calls!" Richtofen declared, before pushing the activation lever, which was made of a toilet lever, and waiting as the teleporter powered up, making ringing noises. "Oh ja, by ze vay, I found toilet parts in ze lower drawer." Richtofen said. "Und i'd just like to ask, who in ze welt keeps toilet parts in zheir kit-"

Before he could finish, Richtofen teleported away in a flash of light, several components falling to the ground after not being teleported along with him.

 **Ponyville, Equestria, Date: Unknown, Friendship Universe**

Richtofen reappeared, immediately looking around in case of any threats: only to realise he was on top of a tree and proceeded to fall off it, crashing on the ground. Richtofen groaned in pain as he slowly got up. After finally getting the spots away from his eyes, he looked around, and what he saw petrified him.

Around him was what looked like some sort of village, in the middle was a red, round some sort of town hall, and around it were some sort of houses and huts with wheat roofs. All of it looked very cartoonish and colourful but what was really strange were the seemingly sentient _ponies._

Around him he saw colourful ponies, some orange, some purple, he even saw one that was pink (said pink one seemed quite insane, just to mention). And some were wearing or doing some weird things, one even wearing a cowboy's hat. And just now he had seen some sort of blue pony with rainbow hair _fly_ and then land in the middle of the street.

Now, the place didn't seem to bad, in fact someone might've called it fun. But that was the thing, it was too fun. It was too _happy_. Too happy to be possible.

Richtofen's left eye started flinching uncontrollably, before he suddenly put on a face of pure hatred and raised his DG2. "BURN YOU HEAZEN PONIES! BURN! RAAAAAAAH." Richtofen shouted out, and with a determined war cry, charged in, firing his DG2 at everything that moved, revelling in the screams of panic and agony as Ponies left and right were electrocuted to death.

 **A few minutes later**

The once grand and beautiful and prosperous town of Ponyville was now a burning, gruesome husk, buildings collapsed and on fire, blood everywhere, and the bodies dead ponies sprawled everywhere you looked.

Only one living thing currently was residing in this now smouldering town, and that was a man wearing a Nazi Officer uniform, currently sitting on a fallen log. Richtofen was currently eating a blue cooked pony leg that had some sort of rainbow tattoo on it. "Hm, not quite tender, pretty hard actually, but definitely better zhen undead flesh." Richtofen mumbled through his chewing.

As he swallowed, he stood up and thew away the leg, before grabbing a cup that looked suspiciously like a skull filled with what suspiciously looked like blood, and draining it before throwing it away as well. "Vell, break's over, time to get back t-" Richtofen was cut off as he suddenly started coughing violently, coughing out several blue feathers and rainbow hairs.

"Cuh, cuh, note to self, cuh, don't eat ze colourful vans." Richtofen coughed out.

"Alright, time to go." Richtofen said to himself, pushing the lever once again, and disappearing from the wreckage of a town.

 **Back to Pandora**

Takeo had just charged straight at the Panzer Soldat, jumping over a burst of fire that had come out of it's gun arm, and bringing down the blade, slamming it right on the Panzer Soldat's helmet, doing no damage. Takeo landed back on the ground, dodging an sloppy attempt at a hit by the Panzer Soldat's claw arm, slashing at it as he dodged right.

He once again slashed at the Panzer Soldat, banging against one of it's arms, however still not doing enough damage as he jumped back, barely missing another blast of fire. As Takeo moved back, he assessed his current opponent. The Panzer Soldat was a very deadly undead soldier, however it did have several weak points. Takeo exploited this as he charged once again, suddenly falling to his knees to dodge another attempt at the Panzer Soldat to grab Takeo, he soon passed by the steel zombie, slicing through unarmored part of the Soldat's leg.

The Panzer Soldat groaned in pain as it kneeled onto one leg. Takeo charged forwards. about to strike again, when suddenly the claw hand turned over into the arm, being replaced with a giant mace. Takeo attempted to stop but it was too late, as the Panzer Soldat swung and hit Takeo dead center, slamming him into a wall. Harry gasped, and attempted to run over to Takeo, however Takeo got back up and rose a hand, signing him to stay away, which Harry obeyed with reluctance. Takeo once again grasped the handle of his katana with both hands, ignoring the pain in his torso that was most likely a few broken ribs.

" _Werr that is new."_ He thought to himself. "But it will not be enough to save you monster!" Takeo shouted, charging once again. This time the Panzer Soldat surprised Takeo by suddeny activating it's rocket pack, blasting into the sky just as Takeo reached where it had previously been a minute ago, firing it's flamethrower. Takeo jumped right, getting away in time, however a bit of flame had caught on his uniform, setting it on fire.

Takeo quickly ripped off his green uniform jacket, revealing a white collar shirt and pants straps. "Dat, was a new uniform!" Takeo mumbled in annoyance, levelling his katana once again. Takeo was annoyed before, you may smash him, you may set him on fire, but when you go after the uniform? Now he was pissed. Takeo with another war cry charged forwards once again at the Panzer Soldat, which had landed a few meters away.

The Panzer Soldat once again fired it's flamethrower, which Takeo simply dodged as he did before, and attempting to smash Takeo with it's mace. Takeo went left, avoiding the mace, and instead slashing through the pipe that was connecting the flamethrower with the gas tank on it's back. As he ran past, he threw a grenade at the Panzer Soldat as it attempted to turn around. As the grenade exploded, it ignited the gas that was coming out of the pipe, making a massive explosion, engulfing the beast.

As the flames and smoke subsided, Takeo slowly walked to the Panzer Soldat, which, besides losing it's right arm, was surprisingly still intact, however unable to move because of the damage from the explosion. Takeo went up to the monster, which was currently shrieking and screaming, he brought up his katana in a stabbing position, and then brought it down, stabbing into the glowing yellow core on the bottom left corner of it's chest.

Now that the armour was completely disabled, Takeo walked away, leaving the still very much undead zombie trapped in the suit. Takeo spotted Harry in the distance, who was simply looking at Takeo.

Harry had seen the entire fight, and thought it was completely _badass_! He wanted to fight like Takeo. "Are you okay?" Takeo shouted out. Harry nodded.

Takeo smiled, and started to walk over to Harry...if it were not for the fireball that suddenly came out of nowhere. The Energy ball struck Takeo, causing an explosion that threw Takeo against another ruin. Harry gasped, and ran to Takeo, arriving at his side in a few seconds.

"Mister Masaki, are you okay?" Harry asked worriedly. Takeo groaned in pain, slowly sitting up, with Harry supporting him slightly. Now what was _that_? As Takeo looked, he spotted where the ball came from.

Harry looked at Takeo's face as his eyes widened. Harry could see shock and...fear? What? What could Takeo be so afraid of? He'd killed all those zombies and that one big zombie. Harry looked in the direction Takeo was looking, and he could tell why he looked so afraid. What he saw was a bone chilling, the... _thing_ had a human like shape, but that was as close to human as it got.

It's hands (which had only three fingers) had long and sharp finger nails, and it was wearing some sort of mixture between robes and armour which had runes written all over it, and it had some sort of strange symbol in the middle of it's chest. But what was really freaky was it's face. Where it should have had eyes, there was simply skin. It had no legs, seemingly hovering like a ghost. It's mouth was full of sharp jagged teeth, and it's mouth outline seemed to be bloody and with no skin. What's worse was that it was _glowing_. The clothes were glowing red, and even it's mouth was glowing red, giving off an aura of pure evil.

"Kuso." Takeo swore. Harry turned to Takeo. "Why! Can't the Panzer Soldat have been enough?"

"Mister Takeo, what is that?" Harry asked with fear. "It doesn't look like a zombie."

"Because it's not." Takeo said through clenched teeth from the pain he was in. "Worse. It's a corrupted keeper."

"A what?"

"Once honourable keepers of the peace, corrupted by de evir Apothicons, and extremely dangerous." He said, standing up, looking around.

"What are we going to do?" Harry asked with slight panic. Worse? Worse than the armoured zombie Takeo had just fought? How can it be worse?

Takeo looked down, seeing his Katana, clenching his teeth and his eyes watering as he bending over to pick it up. "You will stand back here, while I hold it off for as long as I can." Takeo said.

Harry stared at Takeo with wide eyes. "But you hurt! You can't do that! I want to he-" Harry started saying. How was Takeo going to survive in this sort of condition?

"I said STAND BACK HARRY!" Takeo said, this time more strictly. Harry jumped back, before simply stepping away.

Takeo nodded in thanks, before looking at the Corrupted Keeper. He slowly started walking to the Corrupted Keeper, limping slightly. Damn, that was a lot of broken bones he was going to have to fix later. After getting a few meters in front of him, the 2 simply stared at each other.

The silence was broken by the Keeper. "You made a mistake coming here, Zombie Hunter." The Keeper said in what sounded more like a snarl. "And with that mistake, you will die like the imperfectness you are." The Keeper raised one of his hands, spawning a ball of energy.

"And you make the mistake of thinking I wirr go down quickly." Takeo said, raising his Katana in a defensive posture, bringing the blade diagonally across his face. "Good will arways triumph over corrupted beasts such as you." The Corrupted Keeper looked at Takeo, and then made a sound that resembled like a laugh.

"So be it." The Keeper snarled. Suddenly, it raised both of his hands into the air, spawning purple electricity as it connected to each other, and suddenly there was a flash of light, making Harry look away and Takeo close his eyes. When Takeo reopened them, he found the Corrupted Keeper now in the possession of some sort of dark purple energy sword. "Let us see how long you last, living scum."

And with a cry, the Keeper flew forwards, swinging down the energy sword. Takeo quickly blocked the attack, and shoved it off, going responding with a side slash, which was parried by the keeper. Again and again, the two were locked in a duel. Attack, block, parry, attack, dodge, parry, attack again. But Takeo knew that he couldn't win, especially with his current injuries. Some how Takeo was able to land blow, slashing the Keeper's left shoulder.

The Keeper screeched in pain, and continued to fight even harder. The Keeper knew that even with Takeo this heavily injured, he was still a great warrior and could potentially injure him to a larger extent then needed, so decided to switch strategies. Spotting the younger living scum, the Keeper parried Takeo away, stunning him momentarily, before transferring the energy blade to his right hand, while generating an energy ball with his left and throwing it at him.

Harry's eyes widened at the incoming ball of energy, and clenched his eyes together, to shocked and scared to move. However, Takeo was able to recover and intercepted the energy ball, deflecting it away with his katana. _"What the hell is that sword made of?"_ The Corrupted Keeper mentally snarled.

"Why didn't you dodge?" Takeo shouted out towards Harry.

"It was coming too fast! I wouldn't have made it!" Harry replied with a shaky voice.

"It was rike going at 20 feet per second! And it was 50 feet away! You had plenty of time!" Takeo shouted out, deflecting another ball of energy. Now Takeo had to both hold off The Keeper, and protect Harry from said Keeper at the same time. This was really wearing on him now, and he would need help fast, which was when he remembered.

"Where is Richtofen!" Takeo shouted out, blocking another attempted hit.

 **Detroit, August 4th, 2016**

(If any of you find this offensive, i'm sorry, but i'm only doing this for the sake of humour)

The crime filled streets of Detroit were filled with sounds of gunshots, shouting men and police sirens. Odd things often happen in this one great city, but the strange thing for this day was a Nazi Officer being chased by a street gang, while shrieking like a little girl and being shot at.

Richtofen...well let's just say the teleporter hadn't been doing well. After Ponyville (Richtofen shivered with the mere thought of the once super happy town) the teleporter had been bringing Richtofen to everywhere **but** Pandora, and all of them completely random. Hell, he'd even been teleported into a house sized pineapple underwater (he was still contemplating how he could breath there).

Which now brought him here, the worst of them all so far: Detroit. At first he thought it was Nagasaki, but he found out he was wrong when he encountered a street gang, who immediately opened fire on him. Now he was running away from said street gang, who were shooting him as he ran. "I'M SORRY! I ALREADY SAID IT VAS ZE WRONG NEIGHBOURHOOD!" Richtofen screamed, attempting to get the Gangsters to stop shooting at him. It didn't work, as the gangsters continued to shoot at him.

"LEAVE ME ZE FICK ALONE!" Richtofen screamed, turning around to fire his DG2, electrocuting a group of gangsters. Now you have to think, why hadn't Richtofen just teleported? Well besides being shot at, it turned out that the teleporter had a 10 minute cool down (which Richtofen thought was stupid) before being used again. He'd been able to survive for about 8 minutes so far.

"Get that motherfucker! I want that lightning gun!" A Gangster said in the distance. Richtofen continued to run as fast as he could. He thought that zombies was the worst thing that could happen to him, after this he realised there were worse things in the universe than the undead. Richtofen turned right around a corner, still shrieking in fright.

Finally, ten minutes had past and Richtofen knew it as he started pressing the lever all over and over again. "Come on you stupid pile of Sche- vork! VORK!" Richtofen screamed. And then there was a resounding flash of light just as the gangsters turned, Richtofen nowhere to found.

 **Back to Pandora**

Takeo was finally reaching the last of his strength, going completely on the defensive, while slowly being pushed back by the former peacekeeper. Takeo was covered in scars and blood, his shirt was badly ripped, and he had several large gashes all over his body. Yet still, he continued to try and hold it off, blocking and blocking, every hit being even heavier then the previous.

He was about to try and parry the next hit, when suddenly he rose from the ground,the Keeper raising it's hand. "Enough of this." The Corrupted Keeper snarled. "Play time's over." Takeo was flung at a fast speed, slamming into another ruin. At this point, in the midst of pain and exhaustion, Takeo was really starting to get annoyed of being slammed into buildings.

Takeo attempted to reach for his katana, which was knocked out of his hand and was currently a few centimetres away, but couldn't bring himself the energy to do so, as the Keeper hovered towards him. "Your end is here, any last words?" The Keeper snarled.

Takeo, in a dishonourable fashion which he regretted, spit a chunk of blood at the Keeper while gaining the energy to raise up his hand and flipped him the bird. The Keeper, despite having no eyes, gave Takeo the impression of being glared at. "So be it." The Keeper slowly raised the sword, and Takeo clenched his eyes shut, hoping that Harry was going to be okay, and that Richtofen would save him in time.

Suddenly, there was a resounding _bang_ , as a bullet was fired, penetrating through the Keeper's shoulder, making it shriek in pain. The Keeper turned around, to find Harry holding up the Arisaka Rifle Takeo had discarded, pushing the bolt back into place. The Keeper started hovering towards Harry, abandoning Takeo for now. Harry aimed and fired the rifle again, the recoil pushing him back slightly. The Keeper simply took the bullet, which penetrated through the stomach.

Harry had just reloaded, and pulled the trigger, when there was only a click, the chamber being empty. Harry threw away the rifle and looked at the Keeper in fear. The Keeper, at this point tired of playing 'nice', raised his sword and brought it down. Harry looked away and put his hands up to cover his face for the inevitable.

But when the blow came, it didn't strike Harry, instead it had hit an invisible force field. "Woah." Harry said. So this was some of the accidental magic Richtofen told him about. Harry's hands felt warm and himself protected. He liked the feeling.

"What sorcery is this?" The Keeper snarled in anger, bringing down the blade again, and again, and again, but not being able to penetrate. Eventually giving up, he de-spawned the sword, and started to build up 2 large balls of energy in his hands. "No one defies a Keeper! NO ONE!"

Just as he was about to throw, he was suddenly struck by a flash of light, screeching in pain and agony as his body was engulfed by thousands of volts of electricity. After that, the Keeper slumped down dead, revealing an extremely disgruntled and exhausted Richtofen, his uniform sweaty and his hat slightly slanted, with his DG2 up. "Uncle Richtofen!" Harry shouted in relief, running over to Harry. Richtofen smiled in relief, and kneeled down hugging Harry as he pounced on him.

"Mein Gott, don't ever do zat to me again Harry." Richtofen muttered. "I zhought I lost you."

Harry looked up with a sad face. "Are you angry at me?"

"Are you kidding me?" Richtofen said "I'm so proud of you! Look at all zese destruction! Even I couldn't do zis much damage at your age!"

Harry smiled brightly, before remembering. "Erm, a lot of that wasn't actually me." Harry muttered. "A lot of it wa-"

"Herro?" A voice screamed. "Someone herp me please?"

Richtofen and Harry looked at each other, before standing up and running over to the voice.

The two arrived in the rubble, finding Takeo still on the ground in pain. "Mein Gott! Are you alright Takeo?" Richtofen asked.

"DO I LOOK ALRIGHT TO YOU RICHTOFEN?" Takeo screamed.

"Erm...ja, i've seen vorse." Richtofen replied

Takeo glared at Richtofen. "Just get me UP!"

"Alright, alright, no need to be a party pooper Takeo." Richtofen muttered, pulling up Takeo. Despite the blood bath that had just happened, Harry laughed at Richtofen's comment.

With Takeo's arm over his shoulder, Richtofen supported Takeo as they walked out of the ruins, and towards the teleporter which had been dropped earlier.

"Where were you?" Takeo asked Richtofen after a moment of silence.

"You don't vant to know." Richtofen said in a serious voice "Let's just say it vas hell."

As they finally got to the teleporter, Richtofen lifted Takeo's arm off his shoulder and picked it up, putting it on. "Finally, let's go ficking home." Richtofen said, picking Takeo up again. "I have a kitchen to clean."

As Harry gripped Richtofen's left, with Takeo on his right, Richtofen typed in some coordinates in the wrist control, and suddenly they disappeared in a flash of light, ending Harry's first undead experience.

 **4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey, England, August 1st, 1990**

Harry opened the door to his not really home. After they arrived back in England (at dark), Richtofen and Takeo had escorted Harry back home (despite Takeo's injuries). After they arrived, they had bid him farewell and teleported away. As he walked in, he noticed the blood stains on the floor, as well as the horrible smell that came from the kitchen, making Harry immediately run upstairs, it wouldn't be until next morning that Harry would find out that Vernon had been admitted into the hospital for blood loss, Dudley from diarrhoea, and Petunia from a temporary bout of insanity (all three had been found by their neighbours).

There, he took of his clothes and got a shower, washing off the gore, blood and grime from his recent adventure from Pandora. After finishing his shower and putting on new clothes, he went to his room where he put his holster and PPK on the side table (which had been cleaned and it's ammo refilled), and laid on his bed, contemplating today's events. Today he had just experienced his first time in major danger, met his first zombie, his first other planet, and so much more. It was dangerous, it was scary, and it nearly killed him. And yet, he would give anything to feel that adrenaline rush he had when the hordes tried to catch up to him again.

Overall, today was quite a strange day, and he could only think of one thing. "I wonder will come next?"

 **935 HQ, Somewhere in the Multiverse**

Richtofen had just finished admitting Takeo into the 935 hospital wing, saying goodbye to him as he walked back to his room (more like stumbled actually), slumping onto his bed as soon as he entered, contemplating what happened today. When Harry had gone, Richtofen had felt something he hadn't felt in a long time, fear, not for something, or at something, or for a goal, but actually afraid for someone. For once he had understood what it meant to care for someone heavily, to the point where you would sacrifice your life for them. And that someone was Harry.

And he had to admit, he was so proud of him today, despite his near demise. Surviving his first undead encounter, killing countless of them, saving Takeo, it had been so inspiring. Almost like James. As he started to slump off to slumber, he had only one thought. "I vander vhat vill come next?"

 **Unknown, Unknown, Apothicon Core Worlds, Apothicon Empire**

A lone Keeper hovered through the empty, ominous corridor. The corridor walls were red, almost fleshy, sounds of agony seemed to radiate from behind them. The only light in the hallway consisted of some red glows that seemed to be randomly placed around.

The hooded figure finally arrived at the end of the corridor. There, at the end, was a giant dooble door, made with a mix of flesh, iron, and others. But what was most ominous was the giant eye in the middle, which was actually _moving_. The giant eye looked down, spotting the Keeper, it spoke an inaudible gargle. "I must see the Supreme Harbinger." The Keeper snarled.

The giant eye glowed yellow, before the double doors opened outwards, the eye splitting in half as well in a particularly gruesome fashion. The Keeper floated in, now to find himself in a round room, the walls made of the same fleshy like material like in the corridor. What was disturbing however, was the giant trench that seemed to trace all along the walls on the floor, filled with bones, bodies, and even zombies that were currently moaning and shrieking.

With no expression, the Keeper floated over the bridge that went over the bone trench, approaching what looked like a giant throne, covered in complex runes and designs, and unlike the rest of the area, appeared to be made of some sort of dark brown wood. In front of the throne hovered another creature.

It looked similar to a Corrupted Keepr, such as the teeth and the lack of eyes, however instead of the pale peach skin it had a fleshy, purple like colour. And unlike the other Corrupted Keepers, this thing had tentacles protruding from the top of his head, instead of the Keeper's bald ones. It's hands also, instead of the customary 3 fingers, had instead 3 long tentacles in the place of hands. It also wore some sort of ceremonial sleeveless dress instead of the normal hooded robes.

The Corrupted Keeper kneeled down before the so called 'Supreme Harbinger.' "Why do you come before her Empress's Glory?" The Supreme Harbinger said in a slightly or high pitched and clear voice unlike the Keeper's usually deep snarl.

"We have lost connection with our Keeper on Pandora, when we went to investigate, the entire Pandorica Garrison had been killed and the Keeper himself lying along with them." The Keeper snarled. "We found the traces of three livings that had been there several hours ago, they smelled of the Holy Element."

"Group 935 then." The Supreme Harbinger said.

"Not completely." The Keeper interjected

The Supreme Harbinger gave the impression of arching it's eyebrow (if it had any), before signalling for it to continue.

"Only two out of three of the traces reeked of the Holy Element." The Keeper continued. "The third one was...different, it was only recently exposed to the Holy Element recently, and unlike the others it smelled...new, or young."

"Not only that, but we found some strange remnants of a powerful energy, that fit the signature of the young one." The Keeper finished. "Said energy is also not too dissimilar to the Holy Element."

"Yet you previously said the young one was just recently effected?" The Supreme Harbinger asked

"True, the energy itself seems to be influenced by the Holy Element, but it is very much different, your holiness."

The Supreme Harbinger seemed to contemplate a bit before speaking. "Go, send another Keeper to replace Pandora's, immediately." The Supreme Harbinger said. "I shall converse this is subject with the Empress."

The Keeper nodded in reply, and stood back up, hovering back out. The Supreme Harbinger turned around, and started to walk towards the giant throne. Slowly, a purple mist enveloped him as he walked, and by the time he reached the throne, his appearance had completely changed. Instead of the creature, he was now an elderly white man with a puffy white beard, actually resembling Charles Darwin.

Instead of tentacles he had normal hands, and even legs. Not only that, instead of the ceremonial dress, he wore a black 1940s suit and shoes, with a red waistcoat, red tie, white shirt, black gloves and even carried a walking stick. The Supreme Harbinger kneeled before the figure. You couldn't see her body, only her glowing yellow eyes.

"What do you think, my Empress?" The Supreme Harbinger asked in a human, aristocratic voice

"I zhink, zat little Eddy has found a new pet to play viz." The Empress said in a demonic, yet at the same time surprisingly young voice, almost as if she was a child. "Vhat do you zhink teddy?"

The glowing eyes looked down, to reveal small, inhumanely pale hands clutching a brown teddy bear. "Oh? Yes, I too zhink zhat interesting times come soon as vell." The Empress seemed to smile widely in the shadows. "I vonder vhat vill come next?"

 **A/N:**

Another chapter out! Once again, I apologise for the fact of how late this chapter is, but you have to understand, I just started this and i've been very busy lately, there's also the fact that this is more of a side hobby then an actual full out thing for me. Also check out the poll on my profile page, I need the community to decide whether I should start another fanfic or not. I'd like to apologise if the fight between Takeo and the Panzer Soldat seemed a bit redundant or bad in general i'm sorry, however I didn't exactly have that much inspiration go off.

Also, I was surprised to see how this story has nearly 1000 views this story past these few months, which perhaps is small to other stories (don't blame me, i'm new here, I don't know what's considered big or small here), but fills me with joy that people have actually viewed this story, and quite a decent amount too. I hope in the future I don't disappoint anyone.

I'd also like to say that i'm making a writing standard for myself, each chapter should be at least around 9,000-10,000 words (I hope), there maybe occasionally shorter or longer chapters, but still.

Also, i'd like to say that the mini-teleporter Richtofen and Co. use is based off the teleporter from V2RocketProduction's Nazi Zombies series (second one), in fact many of this fanfic's aspects are influenced by it. If you haven't watched V2RocketProduction's IRL Nazi Zombies series, check it out, it's great, my favorite IRL Zombies series.

And in case you're confused why the conversation between Richtofen and Takeo lasted a few minutes, but it says Harry had been fighting for an hour, it's because of, well, wibbly wobbly timey wimey, one minute could be one hour on the other side of the universe (or multiverse in this case)

Anyways, next chapter we'll be seeing Harry going to Hogwarts, and experiencing his first year (and perhaps second year as well, depends on how much content I plan for both), and here are the review replies:

 **Statess-** Harry won't turn into Richtofen (luckily), but he'll probably pick up a few minor traits from him. And no, Rick will (unfortunately) not be on the train to Hogwarts, this is CoD and Harry Potter with some minor references, not a multiversal fanfiction

 **Shadow c. darkwrath-** Thank you for the comment, I highly appreciate your praise, and I hope Richtofen will continue to suit his personality to your liking. Also, Richtofen sorta already has a set of weapons, which is his dagger as melee, his Luger as his sidearm, an MP40 as his secondary, and his Wundewaffe DG2 as his primary, however, it's not like CoD and that they're stuck with these weapons, they can still change between others. I might add more supernatural weapons along the way, and don't worry about the Elemental Staffs, they're going to play an important role in this fanfic...just not right now

 **Aquaticmammals-** Same here, I always preferred the 1.0 Characters over the Origins Characters. However, they do take a small role much later in the story, you'll see...

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, make sure to review, favorite, and follow this story. As always, Auf Wiedersehen!

 **Omakes**

* * *

 **Proudly Presenting: 100 Ways to Die in Abracadavre!**

* * *

 **1\. Bringing a sword to a gun fight**

"Let us see how long you last living scum!" The Corrupted Keeper snarled. With a war cry it flew forwards: right into a bullet that went through it's head. The Keeper slumped dead with a gaping hole in it's head, with Takeo still holding out his pistol.

"Pew, pew! HAHAHAHA." Takeo laughed

* * *

 **2\. Bringing a sword to a gun-sword fight**

"Let us see how long you last living scum!" The Corrupted Keeper snarled. Takeo did not show any immediate reactions, as he slowly rose his katana.

"I wirr fight to my last breath." Takeo said ominously, before looking up with a happy smile. "But I won't have to, because..." Suddenly, Takeo grabbed the blade of his katana and ripped it off, pointing the end of the grip at the Keeper, revealing 4 holes.

"HAHA! IT'S A GUN!" Takeo screamed triumphantly as he fired, 4 bullets penetrating straight through the Keeper's heart. Takeo went over to the Keeper's body and proceeded to squat up and down over the dead Keeper's head.

* * *

 **3\. Indiana Jones Reference**

"Let us see how long you last living scum!" The Corrupted Keeper snarled. However, instead of immediately attacking like any other sane person, the Keeper started twirling the energy blade in his right hand, over and over, and then switching between his left and right hand before transferring to his left hand, and swinging the blade on that one, before gripping it with both and swinging it around.

Takeo looked at the Keeper with a weary face before, just as the Keeper finished and was about to attack, Takeo simply took out his pistol and shot him, the Keeper falling dead. Takeo turned around and walked away, a random crowd of Arabs swarming around out of nowhere in celebration of the Keeper's death.

* * *

 **4\. Being in hell**

"Where were you Richtofen?" Takeo asked

"Let's just say hell." Richtofen replied.

 **A few hours earlier, Hell**

"AAAAH, I'M ON FIRE!" Richtofen screamed in agony as his body was lit alight on the lava and fire covered plain of hell.

Suddenly, a cave opened up and a familiar man with a toothbrush moustache went outside. "Ficking shut up!" Hitler shouted. "Trying to sleep here."

"Honey? Where are you? Come back to bed." A Russian accented voice echoed.

"Coming mein Red Papa Bear." Hitler replied.

* * *

 **5\. Being in Hell's Kitchen**

"Where were you Richtofen?" Takeo asked.

"Let's just say hell." Richtofen replied.

 **A few hours earlier, Hell's Kitchen USA**

"What the fuck is this shit." Gordon Ramsay swore in his customary chef outfit. Chef Ramsay had come to check on the next batch of orders, when he spotted Richtofen's dish.

"It is gourmet bratwurst covered in white truffle oil, viz caviar, gold shavings und a side of lobster, Her- I mean Chef Gordon." Richtofen replied, also in a chef outfit but covered in blue

"It's fucking disgusting." Ramsay muttered, throwing down the half eaten sausage still speared with a fork on the very fancy and good looking dish. Richtofen rose his eyebrow.

"Erm, Herr Ramsa-." Richtofen started.

"Do you think you can just serve me this cheap shit?" Ramsay said angrily. "LOOK AT THIS MESS! Completely unorganised, it's a bundle of shit."

"Vell it looked perfect a second ago, but zhen you slammed ze fork on ze di-" Richtofen attempted to interject.

"I mean look at this!" Ramsay said, picking up the half eaten, perfectly cooked sausage. He proceeded to slam it down on the floor and step on it. "IT'S RAW!"

Richtofen put on a confused expression. "Vait, vha-"

"DON'T TALK BACK TO ME YOU CHEAP BASTARD!" Ramsay yelled. "That's it, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY KITCHEN!"

"I-" Richtofen tried to say.

"I SAID GET OUT!" Ramsay roared.

Richtofen, seeing no way to win, simply threw down his apron and started to sulk out of the kitchen.

"Ya, that's right, get back to cooking your cheap food in Germany you Jerry bastard." Ramsay suddenly said.

Richtofen suddenly looked back around. "HEY! ZAT'S RACIST!" Richtofen shouted.

"I said GET OUT!" Ramsay roared, picking up a kitchen knife and throwing it at Richtofen, said German shrieking in surprise and fear as the knife approached.


	5. Chapter 4: Hogi, Hogiti, Hogwarts-Year 1

Disclaimer-I do not own HP or CoD, both belong to their respective owners, JK Rowling and Treyarch, Activision, etc. Harry Potter and the 360 Mag-Scope?...naaaah

 **A/N:** Hello! I'm really sorry about the unintended hiatus, I didn't think it'd take more then a month. But that last chapter (14,696 words, holy shit!) really took a lot outta me, and I needed to to recuperate, plus I was really busy. The following chapter will be a sort of shortened version of First Year, only really having the essentials. I hope you enjoy it! Despite it's slight rushing...ness to it. (I swear, it get's better as you read on), oh, and Happy New Year!

 **Outside the Training Shack, Little Whinging Park, Surrey, England, July 24th, 1991**

A beautiful snowy owl majestically flew through the clear, blue skies, the wind ruffling it's feathers. This noble creature's mission? To send a letter to oblivious children about their wonderful gift of magic. As it fluttered through the air, it saw it's target, a small wooden shack, where it's target child was currently based in. It started to swoop down, prepared to deploy it's letter...

That is, it would've if not for the sudden gunshot that rang through the air, as a bullet penetrated through it's head. The now dead snowy owl spiralled out of control downwards, until it hit the earth. There, the corpse was lifted up by the legs by a smiling eleven year old boy with bright green eyes, circular glasses and messy black hair. "I got another one Uncle Richtofen!" Harry yelled, as he threw the dead owl onto a large and still building up pile of yet more owls of different species and colour.

It had been almost an entire year since Harry had gone on his little adventure, and several things of note had happened since. Now, instead of only Richtofen being at these sessions, now Takeo had started to also take part in them as well. Takeo originally wanted to be in their 'meetings' because he wanted to keep Harry safe (mostly from Richtofen), however soon he started joining in on the fun as well, teaching Harry things such as meditation.

While Richtofen taught him how to use different firearms, Takeo taught Harry how to use different blades, as Takeo was obviously more qualified than Richtofen in the area. He also taught Harry other things such as meditation, as well as giving him tips and tricks concerning firearms and other weapons, helping his efficiency with weapons get even larger. But Takeo wasn't only there for training, eventually he too took part in story time, telling Harry about his prospective on different stories and even telling stories about his personal life (which Richtofen hadn't often done). Not only funny ones, but action packed ones, sad ones, all that caught the absolute attention of both Harry and Richtofen (surprisingly).

By now, Harry was efficient with both the firearm and the blade. Another thing that had changed were the Dursley's. It seemed that because of the continuos disruptions in their 'normal life' (aka, Richtofen shooting Vernon in the knee practically every visit), the Dursley's had become slightly...unhinged. Vernon had started wearing some sort of knee armour, Petunia would often be found talking to herself and have strange looks, and Dudley seemed to excrete himself at even the slightest disturbance. These were but some of the things the Dursley's now did, and now even Richtofen recognised that they were perhaps pushing them a bit over the edge at this point.

So Richtofen and Takeo often stayed more then one day (at most a week), where Harry would usually reside with them rather than 4 Privet Drive (only coming back occasionally so to avoid suspicion from whoever put up those wards), sleeping in the magically expanded suitcase. Which now has lead to this point in time, and it all began when they were in the middle of another training exercise, when suddenly an owl rushed through the door out of nowhere.

Instantly reacting on instinct, all three had fire upon the owl, shredding it to pieces before it even got back up, only then realising what had just appeared. Thinking it was just a random stray, they continued their exercise: that was until another owl appeared out of nowhere in a similar fashion to the first. That one, too, was shredded to pieces by a hail of bullets.

It was only after the 5th dead owl that they started thinking something was going on. As a 6th owl entered, they let this one come in unharmed...that is until Richtofen shot it in the head. After having a brief argument about why Richtofen shot it, they discovered the peculiar letter, talking about Dumbledore, and Hogwarts, and McGonagall, and magic. After realising that this was Harry's school acceptance letter, Harry became extremely excited, practically bouncing around.

This moment of joy was interrupted by _another_ owl coming in, which Richtofen also promptly shot in the head. After about the 20th dead owl, the trio started thinking that the owls would never stop, and walked outside of the suitcase. There they were ambushed by a squadron of 5 owls all carrying the exact same letters, which were all also shot down. Richtofen soon theorised that Dumbledore or McGonnagall were expecting some sort of reply, and as long as the owls don't return, they would think that Harry hadn't received the letter, and so would send another owl.

This was confirmed when more owls continued to fly in, and that gave Richtofen an idea. The official plan was that they would use the owls for target practice, but about 45 owls later, it had boiled down into a competition of who could shoot down the most owls. And so here they were a few hours later, shooting down the waves of owls that seemed to get bigger and bigger.

"That's eighty five owls so far, how about you Uncle Richtofen?" Harry called out to Richtofen, who was beside him aiming a Kar98k Rifle with a scope upwards to the sky.

"Zhat vould be...ninety seven." Richtofen muttered, still aiming down his scope. Suddenly, there was a bang from Richtofen's rifle and a sudden shriek as Richtofen pulled back the bolt of his rifle to reload. "Make zhat ninety eight actually, how about you Takeo?"

Takeo was using an Arisaka Rifle but with no scope, as he fired and downed another owl, which landed neatly in a pile of owls that was significantly bigger than both Richtofen's and Harry's. "Two hundred and forty three." Takeo said with a hint of smugness as he reloaded his rifle.

Richtofen glared at Takeo moodily while Harry openly laughed at Richtofen's childish expression. Takeo smiled at Harry's laughter. Soon after they met, Takeo had found Harry to be a fun, hard working and lovable boy, wanting to learn everything from Takeo and getting completely stuck to their stories. Takeo had soon found that Harry was a proverbial light in the darkness, and by god he would do anything to stop that light from being snuffed out. Anything.

Takeo turned back to the owls, before his expression changed to one of a shocked, wide open mouth one. "That is a lot of owrs." Takeo said.

Richtofen and Harry looked in Takeo's direction, suddenly wearing similar expressions. In the sky, was what looked like perhaps hundreds of owls. "Zhese guys just don't give up, do zhey?" Richtofen muttered, Harry nodding to the statement.

Takeo was starting to take aim, before Richtofen waved it down, Takeo turning to Richtofen with a questioning look. "Nein, nein, zhat vouldn't vork." Richtofen said, before putting on his infamous blood-lust smile. "I have a better idea."

Richtofen proceeded to run back into the shed where the suitcase would be located. The two remaining persons continued to stare at the crowd of owls, before Harry spoke up. "Are you sure you and Richtofen can't come to Hogwarts with me?" Harry asked quietly.

This had been something Takeo, Richtofen and Harry had been contemplating together about. You see, in terms of Harry's world's time, Richtofen and Takeo had only about a week's worth of 'free time' left before having to go back on their zombie hunting missions. During that time, they wouldn't be able to contact Harry, practically at all because of how busy they'll be. "Harry, we already talked about this, soon we wirr have to go back, we have our own jobs and lives back in 935." Takeo replied solemnly.

"But I don't want you guys to leave, I can't even imagine a life without you guys." Harry pleaded.

Takeo's heart sank slightly. Harry sounded so innocent, so scared about imagining the idea that who he considered his only family left to leave him forever. Takeo went over to Harry and supportingly put a hand on his shoulder. "Do not worry young one, we wirr visit, I promise, and I am sure I speak for Richtofen as well when I say dis, we wirr never forget you."

Harry brightened a bit from his previously gloomy features. Before he could reply, there were more shrieks from the air as he turned. "Um, Uncle Takeo? The owls are getting closer."

Takeo looked back up, and great god, the owls were getting closer, and closer every passing second. If they got to them, there would be a lot of blood and mess, and Takeo was thinking that perhaps it wouldn't just be the owls's. Suddenly, there was a crashing sound and a swear as Takeo looked back to the shed.

Richtofen walked out with his wand, turning around to cut open a larger hole in the shed. Takeo was about to question why he was further damaging the already out of shape shed, before Richtofen went back inside and dragged out a four wheeled cart with a machine that had 4 big barrels connected on the sides.

"Erm, Uncle Richtofen, why do you have that?" Harry asked

Richtofen smied proudly. "I'm glad you asked, zhis is ze 2 centimeter Flakvierling zhirty-eight anti-aircraft gun, fires 20 mm rounds und could feur van-zhousand eight hundred rounds per minute, zhis could shred a plane to pieces in a few se-"

"No, I mean **why**? As in why are you bringing something like that with you?" Harry asked.

"...I mean, in case zhere is some sort of flying zhing ve have to kill." Richtofen shrugged

"So you just keep dat in your pocket or something?" Takeo asked questioningly.

"Well technically I keep it in ze suitcase, und shrink it bu- it doesn't matter!" Richtofen retorted, turning two cranks that started making the anti-air gun point upwards. "I'm prepared for anyzhing, could you say ze same for yourself?"

Harry looked for a bit, before looking back at the crowd of owls, which were now approaching at a faster speed, and there were **a lot** of them. "Um, Uncle Richtofen?" Harry asked questioningly

Suddenly, the owls changed directions, diving straight towards them. Harry took a step back, looking slightly panicky. "Uh, should we run?"

The amount of owls that were diving seemed to block out the sun as they sped closer and closer towards them, Harry started breathing at a faster and faster pace. Takeo turned towards Richtofen. "Richtofen! Quickly!" Takeo shouted in the midst of thousands of owl shrieks.

"Ja! Ja! Ja! I'm nearly ready!" Richtofen said, attaching giant clips to the respective gun barrels.

Takeo looked back up, the owls so close now that he could see the colours of their feathers. Takeo, shielded his eyes. _"This is going to hurt."_ Takeo thought. Suddenly, his eardrums felt like they burst as what sounded like a mega buzzsaw fired up, loud bangs happening what seemed like every half second.

Takeo looked back up, wanting to see what was happening, and saw that Richtofen had finally fully loaded the anti-aircraft gun, the guns themselves shooting out bullets at a high firing rate. As he looked towards the crowd of owls, he saw many owls being picked out of the sky en mass, hundreds of owls being mowed down by the shots from the gun. Takeo smiled, but then he noticed something else. Despite being shot at, the owls corpses were still moving...towards _them!_

Takeo gasped before spotting Harry who was looking at the flying mass with wide eyes, and running over to him, covering his body with his own as the corpses started dropping. A few minutes later, the entire field seemed to have been completely engulfed in the corpses of owls, as Takeo stood back up. His back was so sore that it felt like he'd been hit by hundreds of hammers...technically it was hundreds of owls but still.

Takeo looked at Harry, who seemed to have been paralysed by fear. Takeo turned around, spotting Richtofen laughing manically, covered in blood and feathers. "JA! JA! JA! JA! JA!" Richtofen laughed. "Zat vas amazing! Who vants bird for dinner?"

===============================0o0o0===================================

 **4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey, England, July 31st, 1991**

A few hours after the owl massacre, Richtofen and Takeo teleported away after the end of that day's session, and Harry had gone back to Privet Drive and took a well needed shower, washing off all the blood and feathers from the owls. Soon another letter was delievered to him, but this time it was sent a friendly giant of a man with a big bushy beard named Hagrid (so no, unfortunately he couldn't shoot it), who talked about Harry looking like "James, but with Lily's eyes," and about how he was a wizard and such. As per Richtofen's instructions, Harry had acted completely oblivious and surprised about magic, as to not raise suspicion.

He and Hagrid later departed to the Leaky Cauldron, where he was crowded by who he thought had been a tavern full of creepy ass old pedophiles (he had nearly pulled out his gun) who he thought probably wanted t- ya, better not think about it. There, he also met Professor Quirrel, who was supposed to be the Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher. Harry hoped that his teaching experience was much better than his stutter.

They eventually bypassed the creeps who had obviously never heard of the term 'Private Space,' before entering Diagon Alley. Now, Harry had seen some pretty cool stuff, but even if the alley looked like it was from Medieval times, it still looked bloody amazing! The street was crowded with strangely clothed people, the sides were filled with a variety of exciting and different looking shops. There was so much to see! After they'd left Gringotts, Harry with a pouch full of money and Hagrid with some sort of suspicious small package that frankly intrigued Harry, they ventured out to buy Harry's school supplies.

There Harry got his necessary supplies (books, trunk, cauldron, etc), received a new owl as a gift from Hagrid, which he later named Hedwig (that was especially awkward, with what had happened only several hours earlier), and his new wand (which he was especially giddy about using) from Garrick Ollivander (11 inch Holly, Phoenix Feather, Nice and Supple apparently), who weirdly, made Harry have the most disturbed feeling in the alley so far (like seriously! That old man has a large pedophile vibe to him), especially when he told him about Harry's wand being the brother to the one his parent's killer used (that part was especially ominous and creepy).

There he also met one Draco Malfoy, an especially rude seeming snob, who Harry simply ignored, telling himself over and over to not shoot him in the knee cap or something (with the random things about blood supremacy he was spouting? That was one of the most self restraining moments of Harry's life). From there, he and Hagrid travelled via subway, where Hagrid took off after he gave Harry's his ticket for the Hogwarts Express and disappeared. From there, Harry finally arrived at 4 Privet Drive, the Dursley's in the dinner room ignoring and avoiding Harry as much as they could.

The time spent by Harry between the 24th and 31st was mainly occupied by reading all the different magical books he had bought in Diagon Alley. There he learnt that theory and wand movement of different spells, as well as reading other books such as _History of Magic, Magical Drafts and Potions, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them_ ("Ah! So that's who Newt Scamander was!" Harry thought) and others. He had also bought several books which were apparently about him, all of them full of complete nonsense (fighting an inferi dragon at the age of 4? Really?).

Soon, the day approached that would reign Harry's first time to Hogwarts, as he 'convinced' (aka threatened to shoot Vernon in the knee) Dursley's to bring him to the station. As he stood outside with his trunk being packed into the back of the car by Vernon, Harry felt a bit of both sadness and happiness. On one hand, he was finally going to Hogwarts! Where he was finally going to learn bloody magic! But at the same time, he wouldn't be able to meet Richtofen and Takeo again for a long time, in fact he hadn't heard from them ever since they left last week, and just suspected that they had to go back into active duty, and couldn't go back. This made Harry's heart sink slightly, they didn't even have a proper goodbye!

Suddenly, his thoughts were disrupted by a familiar flash and bang, as Takeo landed on his two feet. Harry suddenly swelled with happiness, before noticing. "Wait a second, where's Uncle Richtofen?" Harry said. Suddenly, there was a shriek as Harry turned around, to see Richtofen falling off the neighbouring house's roof with a loud thump. Richtofen stood up, dazed, fixing his hat. "Im going to have to recalibrate ze placement tracker, zhis keeps happening to ze Doktor." Richtofen muttered as he climbed over the fence, only to land face first onto the muddy ground because of his unbalanced state, groaning in exasperation.

Harry giggled as Richtofen slowly got up, using the fence as a support, before walking over to Harry and Takeo while wiping the mud of his face with his sleeve. "What are you guys doing here anyways?" Harry finally asked. Richtofen smiled widely as he ruffled Harry's hair.

"Vell, ve surely couldn't miss our little Harry's first trip to Hogwarts, zhat vould just be mean." Richtofen said. Richtofen suddenly noticed that their entrance had been noticed by Vernon, who had paused with wide eyes. A simple glare from Richtofen caused Vernon to quickly get back to preparing the car.

Harry smiled and tossed Richtofen's hand off his head, before adopting a slightly more sad expression. "But I won't be able to see you guys again..." Harry said before looking back up. "Maybe you could visit me in Hogwarts? At least a few ti-"

"I'm sorry Harry, but ve von't have any time to visit after zhis, our schedules are just too full." Richtofen interjected with an equally as sad expression. Harry sniffled before hugging Richtofen which Richtofen replied with a hug as well.

"I don't want you guys to go." Harry said, tears forming in his eyes. Tell you the truth, neither did Richtofen. For the first time in a long time, Harry had given Richtofen things he thought he'd never feel again, compassion, caring, love (non-partner of course), things that Richtofen thought were engulfed by his previous insanity. In fact, for the first time Richtofen semi-understood the happiness that fathers had with their sons...semi.

"Don't vorry, vhen I get ze time, I vill come back to visit you, I promise." Richtofen said. "You can trust me on zhat, I am a time traveller after all."

Harry looked up from their hug. "But what if I get in trouble? What do I do?"

Richtofen gave Harry a supporting hand on his shoulder. "Zhen remember your training, remember your studies, i'm fairly certain zhat you are ze most well trained 11 year old in ze welt, definately better zhen Dempsey." Richtofen said with a fake scowl at the end, making Harry giggle and Richtofen smile brightly. "Und if you really do get in trouble? Remember your beacon."

Richtofen picked up Harry's 935 logo necklace. "If you get into major trouble, simply press on both buttons top und bottom, i'll be zhere in a second to defend you from vhat ever comes your way, but don't use it just to see me, please, only for emergencies, can you promise me that?" Richtofen said, Harry nodding as Richtofen stood up.

"Bo-, Harry? The car is ready!" Vernon shouted from the car, hiding behind the seat. Richtofen looked down on Harry

"Vell, I hope you have a gut time at Hogwarts! Mein Harry going to a magical school! I'm sure zhat you're are going to be a great student." Richtofen said.

"Thanks." Harry replied with a bright smile, before turning to Takeo, who had so far remained silent. "Thank you Uncle Takeo for your time with me." Harry bowed.

Takeo smiled and replied with a bow, both going back straight. "Now Harry, remember the tenants of the code."

"Yes, Honour for you ancestors, and loyalty to your comrades." Harry said, before hugging Takeo, said man also responding with a hug. Soon, Harry got into the back seat of the car, waving out of the window as the car drove out into the road. As he went back into the back seat, clutching the necklace.

 **Hogwarts, Scotland, July 31st 1991**

You know, Harry thought he'd seen the extent of weirdness when he saw his uncle gun down a swarm of owls, meeting an undead monster, and then finding out there were apparently aliens that controlled said undead monsters. But going through a seemingly solid wall? Discovering that there were sentient cards? A living chocolate frog? A family of Red Heads? Ya, he was beginning to think there were more weird in the world then he thought.

The train ride was relatively peaceful though, Ron seemed like a decent enough bloke, though he did seem a bit on the giddy side when it came to him. Two other notable peoples would be Hermione and Neville, Neville seemed to be on the shy side, but Hermione was a straight up human encyclopaedia! He couldn't believe that someone of their age could say so many things in such a quick fashion, though her actual fashion sense seemed to be lacking, but, things change quickly, and he had a feeling Hermione might have one too.

Anyways, together with Ron, both arrived at the train station where they met Hagrid, and then proceeded to go on row boats and went across this large lake, before they finally laid their eyes on the castle itself, and Harry had to admit, it was bloody beautiful. He could already tell he was going to have quite the time of his life here, what he didn't know was that said term would be taken quite a lot more literally than it was meant to be.

Soon they disembarked their boats, and went into the castle itself, and after escaping from a particularly nasty poltergeist named Peeves, Hagrid had left the mass of first years on the stair case where he proceeded to go into the hall to try and contact what Harry suspected was probably the teachers there. After a few minutes without Hagrid in sight, he was approached by 3 boys, one of them being self introduced as Draco Malfoy. He talked something about Ron's family being poor, him being superior to others, you know, some other offensive comments or something, Harry wasn't really listening.

A voice interrupted Harry's train of thought. "You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there." Draco said.

Harry blinked several times to regain his bearings and what they were talking about. After a minute or so, Harry finally refocused on the task on hand. "Erm, well, maybe." Harry muttered. "Well, the thing is that i've been hearing some rumours about your bigotry and stuff, and well..."

Now Harry was honestly simply being observant and pointing out some things, but Draco seemed to have taken it the wrong way. "What?! How dare you call me some derogatory term against me!" Draco said scandalously, his two bodyguards seeming to tense up in preparation for a fight.

"What? No, that's not what I meant!" Harry quickly replied. "I just heard somethings about you being racist to, like, muggleborns and stuff, and I don't really like racism in general."

"What do you mean by that? I'm not racist! And Muggleborns and Muggles are inferior to us in every way, they don't even deserve to touch our robes." Malfoy said heatedly.

Harry blinked at Draco several times. "Okay, what you just said is basically the prime example of racism, so yeah, you sort of ar-"

"How dare you speak to me in that tone Potter! Do you not remember that you speak to the Heir of the Ancient and Noble House Malfoy!"

"Could you please stop repeating that, continuously saying your title is sort of starting to get a bit redundant." Harry replied with a slightly annoyed tone.

"You dare insult my family name Potter!" Malfoy said outraged.

"No! That's not what I meant at a-" Harry tried to say before Malfy interjected.

"I'll teach you a lesson! Face the wrath of House Malfoy, Potter!" And with a cry, Malfoy pounced on Harry with his wand in hand.

The next minute found Draco knocked off the stairs from the force of Harry's punch, said Pureblood Bigot bouncing a few times before going head first onto the concrete floor below. _"Oooooh, he's definitely dead."_ Harry mentally said as Crabbe and Goyle rushed towards their fallen leader. Harry suddenly realised the implications of such a statement. _"Oh crap, this isn't going to go well."_ Harry thought/ Killing a student on his first day? Yikes.

Harry felt a small punch on his left arm, as he turned to find Ron who had wide eyes and a huge smile adorned on his face. "Awesome mate! You taught that bouncing ferret a piece of your mind!" Ron exclaimed. Bouncing Ferret huh? Harry felt like that was going to be a thing now...

Harry proceeded to also rush down the stairs towards Draco. He didn't actually mean to punch him, it was on instinct! Those lessons with Takeo and Richtofen could often be ingrained into your mind to the point of automatic reactions...such as punching them in the face I guess is a prime example.

As he arrived in front of Draco, he kneeled down, and started looking over Draco. _"Please don't be dead, please don't be dead, please don't be dead."_ Harry mentally pleaded, as he checked over the surprisingly in good condition boy.

"What are you doing mate?" Ron said from behind Harry, confused. "Leave 'em, he's a right git anyways, he deserved that."

"Yes Ron, he probably did." Harry replied in a slightly panicked matter, still checking over the boy. "He probably deserved all of that, but killing a student _before_ the first day even started isn't going to go well on me, is it?" Ron started blankly, before the implications were on him too, his eyes going wide and his mouth going in an O shape.

"We need help." Harry said. He was trained in combat, but he didn't no shit when it came to medical knowledge! But just as a he turned around to try and get help from the body of students, he found that said body of students had gone into the great hall, and had been going into the hall just as Harry had finally payed attention to Malfoy's ramblings. Harry's first thought was 'What a bunch of assholes,' but then his second thought was, not very guiltily, filled with relief for the fact that it meant no one had actually witnessed Harry punching Malfoy. So, his integrity was safe, now all he had to do was get rid of the body. _"And perhaps the witnesses,"_ Harry thought as he looked to the dumbfounded Crabbe and Goyle.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by movement from the edge of his peripheral vision that was quickly approaching him, in which Harry reacted quickly and launched his fist at it. The fist landed on the now once again out-cold Draco Malfoy, once again sprawling on the floor with a now bloody nose. Both Crabbe and Goyle now looked a tiny bit confused as to what to do, and even a little scared at how Potter had not knocked out their leader not once but twice.

"What the hell just happened there?" Harry questioned to Ron, who had just gotten his wand out of his robes.

"The blonde git got up and tried to attack you again, I tried to stop him." Ron replied

Harry sighed, before suddenly Malfoy got back up again. "Face the wrath of House Malfoy, Potter!" Draco suddenly exclaimed, attempting to pounce on Harry with a hand that would've had a wand in it if it were not at the bottom of the stairs. Harry once again responded with another punch, once again knocking out the blonde. This time Harry was a slight bit confused. Obviously Malfoy would attack him again, he'd just punched him, but why say that again?

"Hey! Malfoy said that last time too!" Ron suddenly said. So, Malfoy had just repeated the same phrase 2 times?

"Prepare to face the wrath of House Mal-" Draco exclaimed before Harry punched him again. Alright, three times, what the hell was wrong with Malfoy. Suddenly something clicked together in Harry's mind.

"Ron, I think that Malfoy is getting amnesia every single time a punch him." Harry said to Ron, who tilted his head in confusion.

"Am- what? Amnishia?" Ron replied.

"No Ron, amnesia, it's where you get a sudden sho-"

"Face the wr-"

"-ck and loose some of your memory." Harry finished as he once again punched Malfoy again. _"This is starting to feel like muscle memory at this point."_ Harry thought. Crabbe and Goyle looked truly intimidated by Harry at this point.

"Woah! That sounds awesome!" Ron exclaimed with a smile. "This means Malfoy won't remember you punching him!"

"Yeah, except he keeps trying to attack me, and my arm's starting to get tired." Harry whined. At this point, it was starting to get more and more annoying with every punch. Draco got back up again, but before he could say anything, Harry, instead of a punch, went for a full out uppercut, swinging it upwards and causing Malfoy's teeth to snap together with a large force, his tongue being caught in between the two.

With the force of said uppercut, Malfoy flew onto the railings, hitting his head. Draco, instead of getting knocked out, slowly got back up with a wobbly posture. At this point he was quite the wreck, his nose was broken and was excreting a lot of blood, the back of his head, too, was leaking out a bit of blood, and so was his mouth from his tongue, also notable were the several teeth that were missing. _"He's going to need a bloody gas mask to cover that mess up."_ Harry absently thought to himself.

But instead of the malevolent look, Malfoy looked really confused, as he turned towards the Harry and Ron. "Are you my mummy?" Malfoy said in a very squeaky, dizzy manner.

Harry and Ron seemed to get less tense, and then turned to each other. "I think you hit him a bit too far, mate." Ron said, Harry silently agreeing. Suddenly, the doors of the Great Hall would open and Ron and Harry, both not wanting anyone to see Malfoy in this state near them, in one swift movement, shoved Malfoy over the railings, a thump sounding from the floor below.

Both then quickly turned back around to see an old lady wearing green robes, glasses and a pointed hat open the doors, quickly spotting the both of them. "There you students are! You've held up the entire ceremony with your tardiness, get in here at once." The Old Lady said sternly.

Harry and Ron both nodded quickly with bright smiles. Harry leaned towards the pale looking Crabbe and Goyle. "Don't tell anyone about what's just happened, got it?" Harry whispered while still keeping up his smile. Both Crabbe and Goyle quickly nodded. Harry's smile got a tab bit wider. _"This was an interesting start to school."_ Harry thought to himself.

==================================0o0o0================================

 _ **POV Change: Severus Tobias Snape**_

Severus looked down at the proceedings up on the Teacher's Table along with the rest of the staff, seeing all these ruffians and dunderheads get sorted, fooling around, being idiots in general as all these stupid children are. The only reason Snape stayed was because the Headmaster wanted it so. The constant torturing of said dunderheads (especially those foolish Gryffindors) was a particularly satisfying addition. Oh who was he kidding, he loved this job.

As he continued to look on, he saw the bane of his existance, the destruction of his happiness, the anti-joy, the obvious monster that was going to plague him for the next 7 Years, the horrible offspring of his now deceased arch enemy.

Harry James Fucking Potter.

Of course, he had expected him to be late, the absolute dunderhead, just like his father, missing out on the sorting of almost all the other children, probably thinking he was superior over all else. Crabbe and Goyle went first, both being sorted into Slytherin, and then the Weasley offspring went after that. Finally, it was the Potter boy to go next, everyone whispering at each other as their precious Boy-Who-Lived's head was touched upon by the hat. Snape wondered what the hell spawn was talking about.

 _ **Meanwhile, in Harry's head**_

"And if you even consider telling anything you see in here to anyone, I'll make sure to take you and hand you over to Uncle Richtofen, seeing my memories, you know what he'll do to such an 'interesting specimen' such as yourself." Harry threatened to the Hat in his mental landscape. The hat gulped nervously, and sort of made the impression of nodding.

 _ **Back to Snape**_

Finally, the sorting bellowed out "GRYFFINDOR!" (obviously, Snape mentally thought) as the Gryffindor table started cheering, the Weasley twins doing a little jig, chanting "We got Potter! We got Potter!" The Potter Child stood up with a bright smile and walked over to the Gryffindor table, sitting next to the original Weasley child. _"Ah, my favourite part of the feast now comes."_ Snape thought to himself, smiling sinisterly before quickly putting on a stony mask as he waited for the opportune moment. As Dumbledore finished his 'speech,' and the tables filled with food, he stared on.

Suddenly, the Potter Child looked in Snape's direction, right into Snape's eyes, Severus immediately going in for the kill. Time to see what secrets the Potter child was hiding.

 **Harry Potter's Mental Landscape**

There were two types of mind magic, Occlumency and Legilimency. Legilimency was the art of looking into someone's thoughts, emotions, and feelings. To do so, you would have to need a clear line of vision into their eyes, like what they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul. Occlumency, meanwhile, was the art of protecting against Legilimency, which consisted of creating a mental landscape (usually based off something familiar), and setting up mental protections to defend against such acts attempting to access your memories, like mental defences, guards, traps, etc. The more of them there are and more complex, the harder it is to access your memories.

Many Pureblood children learn Occlumency at an early age so to ward off attackers, however Potter had never interacted with magic before, meaning Severus expected his mental landscape to be completely barren and empty, and his memories ripe for the picking.

As Snape 'landed' in Harry's mind, he 'looked' around. As he had expected: all barren simply darkness, nothing in sight except that door.

" _Wait, door?"_

Snape took a double take, and 'rubbed' his eyes. Yes, he wasn't hallucinating, in front of him was what looked like a plane white door, with a door knob. Just a normal white door. How had the Potter Boy even create an object in here without any magical help?

Snape dismissed it, occasionally the subconscious made some simple objects in the mental landscape, nothing too hard or anything. As Snape approached the door, he attempted to push it open. Locked. Snape nonchalantly 'drew' his wand out of his robes and used an unlocking charm on the door, as he went to push it open again. _"Far too easy."_ Snape thought to himself. But once again, the door didn't budge open. Not one bit.

Snape glared at the door that refused to open. Fine! If this door refused to open normally, he'd have to use other methods. Snape stepped back and said "Sectumsempra!" In attempt cut through the door. There was a thud sound, but once again, no damage. Now this door was really starting to peeve off Snape. It would call for more drastic measures.

Snape then raised his wand once again and bellowed out "Bombarda!" The spell striking the door, and a mighty explosion struck the door.

Meanwhile, Harry was starting to feel a serious headache, as if something in his head had exploded.

Snape put on a smug expression. Surely now that door was gone, and Potter's succulent secrets would be his! But Snape's jaw hit the ground as the 'smoke,' cleared, revealing the door in a perfect state, almost shining now. Snape's expression went from one of shock to grim determination. Nothing! And he meant nothing could stop him from someone's memories, especially the subconscious defences of a spoiled, insolent toddler. _"Mark my words,"_ Snape vowed _"I_ _ **will**_ _get to this brat's memories! And no makeshift protections will save them."_ But for now, he needed to leave or else gain attention. As Snape left the boy's mind, he wouldn't realise the struggle he had just vowed himself to until it was too late.

 _ **POV Change: Harry James Potter**_

As Snape looked away, the pressure on Harry's head stopped. He sighed in relief. _"Woah, that was weird."_ Harry thought to himself. What the hell was that? He swore, it felt like he was going to heave right there, but luckily he gathered himself.

Whatever it was, it was gone now, he'd have to look into it later though.

But for now, he had only one thought: he'd gotten into Hogwarts! He'd been selected into a house, and he'd made new friends before the first day! He was so excited! He'd be able to learn magic in a safe, sane and exciting environment!...

Alright, perhaps remove sane, Dumbledore definitely doesn't seem like the most stable of lads, who just tells their students 'Do not go here, or you'll die horribly?'

Harry's thoughts were interrupted by a series of events, including that dreadful song, being introduced to Peeves (well, if being attacked by a bunch of sticks is considered getting introduced anyways) and finally arriving in their dorms.

As Harry lied on his bed, he wandered what to expect for this year.

The answer? A lot of weird shit.

=================================0o0o0=================================

 **Girl's Bathroom, Hogwarts, Scotland, October 31st, 1991**

You know, when Harry had talked about a nice safe environment, he didn't think fate would chew it and spit it back out. A lot had happened since that first day, turned out Draco survived that fall, and had a bit of permanent amnesia (which was strange because usually magic would help), but nothing too extreme, well, unless you count the concussion, broken bones, and the blood everywhere. Anyways, he was declared fine and soon enough returned back to class. Harry also found out how much of an asshole Snape was, and how much more of a dick Draco was. A few good things happened though, like getting on the Quidditch Team! Except now he was under the command of a borderline obsessed coach. They (as in Ron, Hermione and Neville) had also discovered a giant three headed dog in this one room, so that was nice, a new little project to try.

Strangely enough, his headache had been getting worse and worse, specifically in DADA and Potions Class. He still didn't know why.

 _ **A Few Weeks Ago, Harry's Mental Landscape**_

 _Harry's mental landscape was occupied by a determined Snape, who was currently wielding an axe, smashing it into the currently unaffected door. "Here's Sevy!" Snape grunted as he continued to smash the axe against the door with no visible damage appearing, in fact the axe was looking pretty beat up now._

 _ **Back To Harry and the Present**_

But Harry was sure that he would find out soon enough. Anyways, besides that, because of Ron, Hermione had been hurt, apparently in the bathroom for almost the entire afternoon to the evening. Harry didn't really think about it, but then Quivering Quirrell suddenly appeared in the hall, saying something about a troll in the dungeon, and then proceeding to splat face first onto the cold stone floor. That had to bloody hurt.

But then, Harry had remembered _"Oh shit! Hermione didn't know!"_ those were his exact mental words, guaranteed. Anyways, in the ensuing chaos, Harry, and Ron with him, quickly ran to the Girl's Bathroom, where they arrived just in time to see the troll cornering the bushy haired girl.

Oh great, why did his luck have to be this bad? Why couldn't it have been a unicorn or a rat?

As Harry thought of something to do, Ron was hit by the Troll's club, smashing into the wall. Quickly, Harry left the petrified girl and ran over to the unconscious Red Head. Quickly, he checked his pulse like in those movies he had watched with Richtofen. Luckily, it was still there, and he was still breathing, just out cold. That was going to give him a couple of broken bones.

As Harry turned, he came face to face with a speeding club. Reflexes coming into action, Harry quickly jumped to the side, rolling before getting back up. He had to think of something! But he didn't know what to do! _"Come on! Think! Think! Is there any weapon I could u-"_ Suddenly, Harry slapped himself. Of course! He already had a weapon! And a deadly one at that!

Dodging another lousy hit by the Troll, Harry quickly summoned up his Walther PPK from his holster. He couldn't believe he had forgotten about it! But having to not practice with it for months made him a tad bit forgetful about it.

The troll stared at the young boy. It didn't know what type of small thing the tiny human had grabbed, but it was hungry, and it didn't care what it did!

Harry quickly brought up his PPK with both hands, and fired three shots, all three, surprisingly, simply deflecting off the beast's skin. Harry looked down at his PPK as if it had betrayed him some how. This had never happened before! He thought it was simply bang, bang, brick or metal or etc=ping and skin and flesh=death. The magical world was going to have to make him adapt further. Meanwhile, the troll, annoyed by the strange things that tickled it, picked up Harry angrily with it's free hand.

Harry struggled, attempting to get out of it's crushing grip, before noticing that he was right before the beast's face. They stared for a bit, before the troll screamed out a mighty roar, spit flying all over him. Harry gags at the horrible stench that the troll's breath put's off. Jesus, it's like someone died, then was crapped on, then was flushed down a toilet, and then left to rot in the wilderness.

As Harry recovered, the troll opened it's mouth and prepared to bite into the tiny human, before Harry quickly raised his PPK again, and this time fired: right through the eye, the bullet actually coming out on the other side of it's head. The troll flinched, and spasmed a bit, a large hole in it's eye and right through it's head, completely destroying it's chestnut sized brain. The troll finally breathed it's last, and collapsed forwards, Harry landing among with it.

On the ground, covered in spit and the stench of the troll, Harry recovered his breath, and slowly wiggled out of the large corpse's grasp. Hermione had been watching with wide eyes, while Ron was still unconscious. After a minute or so, Harry stood up, although unstably, and leaned against the dead monster's body. Suddenly, Harry heard footsteps, and quickly shoved his PPK back into his hidden holster, just as Snape, McGonagall, and Quirrell arrived onto the scene.

"Dear Merlin," McGonagall gasped upon seeing the scene before her. Quirrell seemed to get a heart attack and sat onto a toilet bowl, while Snape investigated the troll. "Severus?" McGonagall questioned.

"Dead, blown right through the head." Snape replied, standing back up and turning towards Harry. "What's curious is how a first year was able to kill a fully-grown mountain troll."

Harry fidgeted. "I-I, used the levitation charm on a pipe to try and hit it on the head, but I messed it up slightly, and I think it went through it's head." Harry lied. Snape still looked suspicious, and as he opened his mouth, McGonagall intervened.

"Quiet Severus! Obviously these children are quite traumatised after this event," McGonagall said as she rushed over to Ron, checking on him, and then levitating his limp body. "For now, Mr Weasley needs medical attention, we can talk about this event later, follow me children." McGonagall rushed out of the room, Harry and Hermione quickly behind, Hermione being supported by Harry after still suffering from shock.

Snape narrowed his eyes after the retreating kids, before following/limping out himself. Quirrell rushed out of the room after everyone else.

=================================0o0o0=================================

Afterwards, Harry and Hermione were gathered in the Headmaster's Office. In a surprising move by Hermione, she tells the teachers that it was all her fault, and that Harry and Ron had to rescue her. He felt it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Soon McGonagall gave removed and gave them points (cheeky little bugger, that lady), they were released and both went to the Medical Wing to check on Ron. Madame Pomfrey said that Ron would make a quick enough recovery, and should be just fine after a few days or so.

After taking a shower (a long, and very thorough shower), Harry realised how lucky he was that no one had discovered his PPK. The only ones in the room had been Hermione and Ron, and, well, Ron was indisposed, and Hermione had been to shell-shocked to notice, thinking that it was just some explosive spell (she even complemented him on using what she thought must've been a pretty advanced spell). Of course another thing he remembered was that in the office he was having that same sort of feeling, this time it felt like his head was burning.

 _ **An Hour Ago**_

 _Snape chanted the words "Fiendfyre," as a giant flaming snake was sent, consuming the door. Suddenly, the snake turned around and headed for Snape, who screamed and started 'mentally,' running away from the mental flame snake, the door still having no damage._

 _ **Back to the Present**_

And both Quirrell and Snape were in the room, so he could narrow down to who was probably doing that (he personally hoped it was Snape, he just wanted an excuse to shoot the git). Once again, just another day it seemed, but Harry felt that there was much more to come.

================================0o0o0==================================

 **Empty Room, Hogwarts, Scotland, December 27th, 1991**

Harry had to admit, the last few months had been much more peaceful, the only really major event was the Qudditich match (he could still taste it's glorious victory...as well as that metal tang he got from swallowing the snitch). Oh yeah, and there was still that bloody headache, this time it felt a bit...corrosive (which was a strange description).

 _ **You Know the Drill, an unspecified time ago**_

 _This time, Snape thought he had the answer. Using a spell that he had recently just created, he launched a stream of corrosive acid towards the door. As the door was covered in acid, some of it spluttered around and started getting onto Snape's Mental Figure. Suddenly, there were melting pains all across his body as parts of him...well, melted from the acid. As Snape screamed in terror ("AAAAHHH! I'M MELTING!" Snape shrieked) and pain as he melted mentally, the door remained as clean as ever._

 _ **Back to the Present**_

Harry, Ron's and Hermione's investigation into Nicolas Flamel had been slow and often fruitless, and now it pretty much stopped with Hermione going back to her home. Now Harry was pretty bored, but that wasn't his main issue. During Christmas, Harry would usually be celebrating with Takeo and Richtofen, playing in the snow, Richtofen making absurd machines out of everyday appliances to win snow ball matches. That hurt Harry, because not only wouldn't he be able to celebrate Christmas with them this year, but it reminded him of how he wouldn't be able to see the two of them until they get another break, which Richtofen explained, was apparently a long time.

Now there was not much for Harry to do, that was until he was sent a gift from a "friend," an invisibility cloak. Now that was a moment which he was pretty damn excited about. He'd originally used the cloak to go into the restricted area, however he soon found himself in another room, where he found a mirror, what he saw had shocked him.

The next day he had brought Ron along with him to said seemingly abandoned room, only to find that Ron had seen something else. Now, Harry was sitting alone, he had been staring at the mirror almost unblinkingly for the last hour or so, quite the achievement. Of course what he saw in the mirror really did mesmerise him.

"So, back again Harry?" A voice suddenly said. Harry looked back, to see Dumbledore sitting by one of the desks, observing Harry. He must've been so distracted that he hadn't noticed him.

"...I didn't see you, sir." Harry replied nervously. _"Oh shit, you really fucked it up this time, didn't you?"_ Harry's subconscious said.

"Strange how nearsighted being invisible can make you," said Dumbledore, and Harry was relieved to see that he was smiling. Perhaps he wasn't in as much trouble? Empty hopes.

"So," said Dumbledore, slipping off the desk to sit on the floor with Harry, "You, like hundreds before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised." Well, duh, it literally says it around the mirror frame.

"But I expect you've realized by now what it does?" Dumbledore asked. "Let me give you a clue,"

"The happiest man on earth, would look into the mirror and see only himself, exactly as he is," Dumbledore said

"So...it shows us what we want? Whatever we want?" Harry replied. He sort of got the whole desire thi- oh shit! He just realised what erised is backwards! Isn't that sooo original and creative.

"Yes...and no." Wow, Dumbledore, once again with the riddles. Harry had found the the Headmaster's state of mind often did things like this, which was funny at first, but now was just plain annoying.

"It shows us, nothing more or less, then the most deepest, and most desperate desires of our hearts," Dumbledore continued. Well, that doesn't sound ominous at all. "Now you, Harry, who never knew your family, you see them, standing beside you." That was...disturbingly close. But it was Harry's turn to say Yes...and no, well, mentally anyways.

As Harry turned back to the mirror, he saw his beautiful mother with a hand on his left shoulder, and his very similar looking father with his hand on his right shoulder. His mother, well seemed to be wearing normal clothing, but his father was wearing a worn out purple pinstriped suit set, and a purple fedora which, unlike the rest of the outfit, looked completely fine.

But there was more to that, right beside the image of his mother, were two men, one wearing a Red Army Uniform, and the other wearing the attire of a US Marine. These two were Dempsey and Nikolai, both smiling, the latter with a bottle of vodka in his hand. He hadn't actually met the two yet, but the pictures and stories of them Richtofen and Takeo had showed and told him (respectively) gave him a good image.

Speaking of the two, Takeo was off to the right by his father, his posture strict, but his face adorned with one of his rare smiles of joy. And right beside his father, also putting a hand on Harry's shoulder, was Richtofen himself. He also had a smile on his face, but unlike his other often blood-lusted smiles, this one was completely insanity free, one that had pure, simple love and happiness in it.

This was Harry's desperate desire, to have a whole family again, and one that would stay with him, and together they would go on adventures: as a family. But of course, those were only dreams, but hey! At least he could hope. Harry had mostly concentrated on the mirror, what Dumbledore had been saying falling on deaf ears and lost attention, until a sort of mental nudge brought Harry back to reality.

"The Mirror will be moved to a new home tomorrow, Harry, and I ask you not to go looking for it again. If you ever do run across it, you will now be prepared. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that. Now, why don't you put that admirable cloak back on and get off to bed?"

As Harry stood up, he put on the cloak and started walking, before turning back around. "Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask you something?"

"Obviously, you've just done so," Dumbledore smiled. Smartass "You may ask me one more thing, however."

"What do you see when you look in the mirror?"

"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks."

Harry stared incredulously, really?

"One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore. "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."

Harry sighed, and put on the cloak.

As Harry left, Dumbledore once again turned to the mirror, this time with a much more sad expression. In the reflection, were two people. One was a man with very blonde, neat, hair and blue eyes. And the other was a young blonde female, perhaps around 14 years of age. Both were standing side by side him, with bright smiles, both that sort of said 'I forgive you.' in a way. A single tear trailed down the old man's face, before he wiped it off and put on a face of grim determination.

================================0o0o0==================================

 **Mirror Room, Underground Chambers, Hogwarts, Scotland, June 4th, 1992**

After this, a few minor things happened, like secretly sending out a baby dragon and fighting bloody VOLDEMORT'S WRAITH IN THE FOREST! Ya! Nothing that major at all!

The good news was that their research had gotten a lot of gains, including finding out about the Philosopher's Stone (roll credits), and how Snape was probably going to try and steal it for Voldemort (well, he hoped it was Snape, anyways). Soon, they (Harry, Ron and Hermione) ventured out to try and get the stone before Snape did, obviously things didn't go as originally planned.

They passed through a bunch of challenge rooms, and Harry had to leave Ron and Hermione behind, as he ventured into the main chamber. As Harry went in, he found himself in a room only lit by torches, with pillars supporting the room, and in the middle was a mirror: and a man.

"You!" Harry said with surprise. It was Quirrell, now THAT he had not been expecting!

"Me," Quirrell said calmly. "I wondered whether I'd be meeting you here, Potter."

"But I thought - Snape -"

"Severus?" Quirrell laughed, and it wasn't his usual quivering treble, either, but cold and sharp. "Yes, Severus does seem the type, doesn't he? So useful to have him swooping around like an overgrown bat. Next to him, who would suspect p-p-poor, st-stuttering P-Professor Quirrell?"

Damn. He had really hoped it was Snape, especially since he was fairly certain he was the one giving him these horrid headaches, oh how he had dreams of puncturing his skull with a bullet.

"But Snape tried to kill me!" Harry exclaimed

"No, no, no. I tried to kill you. Your friend Miss Granger accidentally knocked me over as she rushed to set fire to Snape at that Quidditch match. She broke my eye contact with you. Another few seconds and I'd have got you off that broom. I'd have managed it before then if Snape hadn't been muttering a countercurse, trying to save you."

"Snape was trying to save me?" Wow...he still hated the slimy haired git though (seriously, did he ever wash his hair?)

"Of course," said Quirrell coolly. "Why do you think he wanted to referee your next match? He was trying to make sure I didn't do it again. Funny, really... he needn't have bothered. I couldn't do anything with Dumbledore watching. All the other teachers thought Snape was trying to stop Gryffindor from winning, he did make himself unpopular... and what a waste of time, when after all that, I'm going to kill you tonight."

Suddenly, ropes came out of nowhere and wrapped around Harry, trapping him. _"Shite,"_ Harry thought to himself, _"Wow you idiot, great work! You should've just shot him the second you entered the bloody room your buffoon, oh what would Uncle Richtofen think?"_

"You're too nosy to live Potter. Scurrying around the school on blah blah Halloween, blah blah guardian blah blah blah stoned..."

Harry pretty much blocked Quirrell out at this point, now he was completely concentrated on how to get out of the current predicament he was in. His Walther was out of the question, he couldn't get it, and these ropes were too damn strong to get out off. Oh, why didn't he bring a dagger too? No, never mind, bringing a gun was risky enough, bringing a knife would've made wizards see an object that they already clearly knew he could kill someone with. Perhaps he could get away while Quirrell continued to talk endlessly? No, he'd probably be dead by the time he reached the exit. Speaking of endless talking, perhaps he was spilling some important information! Villains liked to do that.

"Blah blah blah mirror key, blah blah blah Snape haters, blah blah blah Voldemort by my side, blah blah pissed my pants blah blah..." Harry blocked out Quirrell again. Nope! Nothing to hear there. As Harry continued to think of a way, Quirrell seemed to finally get out of his stupor.

"Use the boy...Use the boy..." a voice said out of nowhere. Harry paused and looked around. Now that was freaky! There was no one else in the room, so who the bloody hell said that?

Quirrell rounded on Harry. "Yes - Potter - come here." He clapped his hands once, and the ropes binding Harry fell off.

Harry got slowly to his feet. "Come here," Quirrell repeated. "Look in the mirror and tell me what you see."

Well, there goes getting out of his ropes, now he just had to look for the opportune moment to attempt to escape. As he stood before the mirror, he saw a reflection of himself, same clothes, same body, same expression. But then, seemingly impossibly, the reflection smiled at Harry. Harry's eyes grew wide at that. Magic was weird.

Harry's reflection put his hand in his pocket, pulling out a blood-red stone. He winked, and then put the stone back in his pocket, Harry himself suddenly feeling a weight in said pocket. Somehow, he had gotten the stone, and from a bloody reflection too! This was just giving him a headache at this point.

"Well?" said Quirrell impatiently. "What do you see?"

Harry gathered up his courage. _"Keep calm, if your calm, he won't be able to tell whether your lying,"_ Harry thought to himself reassuringly, before speaking.

"I see myself shaking hands with Dumbledore," he said. "I - I've won the house cup for Gryffindor." _"Wow, smooth lying, dumbarse,"_ Harry's subconscious insulted. _"There's no way he'll fall for that, he'd have to be a bloody idiot,"_

Quirrell cursed. "Get out of the way," he said.

As Harry moved aside. _"...Wow, apparently he is a bloody idiot, who knew?"_ Harry thought to himself. _"Alright, this is the perfect opportunity, just run out and escape while he's distracted, everything will be fine."_

But he hadn't walked five paces before a high voice spoke, though Quirrell wasn't moving his lips.

"He lies... He lies..." Damn that random voice that came from nowhere!

"Potter, come back here!" Quirrell shouted. "Tell me the truth! What did you just see?"

The high voice spoke again.

"Let me speak to him... face-to-face..."

"Master, you are not strong enough!"

"I have strength enough... for this..."

Harry stood there as Quirrell unwrapped his turban. When it was completely off, the man turned around, showing one of the most disgusting things he'd ever seen in his life. On the back of his head, was a face, a _fucking face!_ It was chalk white with glaring red eyes and slits for nostrils, like a snake.

"Harry Potter..." It whispered. "See what I have become? Mere shadow and vapor...I have form only when blah blah playing with other bodies, blah blah drinking blood, blah blah play with my own body, blah blah need stone,"

Wait a second, there was something about the random ramblings this time that made Harry feel extremely uncomfortable. Damn his absurd imagination and lack of attention! A single statement however brought Harry's attention back.

"...or you'll meet the same end as your parents... They died begging me for mercy..." It snarled.

"Oh, oh no, now THAT'S where you go to far!" Harry's stance suddenly changed, his eyes starting to fill with anger, both Voldemort and Quirrell freezing in surprise at the sudden change in attitude, _"_ You may try to kill me, you may try to hurt my friends, you may try to make my time in school here a living hell, i've dealt with this type of crap before, _"_ Harry angrily said "But if there's something I can't tolerate, it's insulting my parents. And that. Is where. You cross the BLOODY LINE!"

Suddenly, Harry summoned his PPK out of his holster and aiming it at Quirrell. "Move you fool!" Voldemort shrieked just as fast. In a split second, Quirrell turned around with surprising efficiency never shown, drawing his wand, and firing a dark curse. This forced Harry to move just as he pulled the trigger. Instead of the bullet going through Quirrell's head, it instead went through his left arm, shattering bone and tearing through flesh, shrapnel spreading across the wound as Quirrell shouted out in pain.

Quirrell quickly responded with sending several spells at Harry, forcing him to run back, dodging the spells, and hiding behind one of the pillars. Quirrell quickly examined his wound. "Why in Merlin's name Potter, do you have a muggle gun?" Quirrell shouted out as he started sending spell after spell at Harry's position, which Harry responded with the occasional burst from his PPK, before hiding behind the quickly deteriorating pillar.

"None of your fucking business!" Harry replied heatedly.

"It is only a muggle weapon, get the boy!" Voldemort shrieked out. Quirrell proceeded to intensify the amount of spells he was sending, any bullets heading in his direction were either blocked by a shield charm or easily dodged. Harry didn't think Quirrell was this damned good in combat. Then again, how would he know, the man seemed afraid of his _own shadow_ for God's sake!

Now Harry was getting desperate, his pistol wasn't working, Quirrell was much more skilled then he thought (probably much more skilled then him), and said wizard had him pinned down behind an unstable pillar. He was starting to panic, and how couldn't he? He racked through his brain to try and find an answer.

" _Uncle Richtofen would probably just go in guns blazing,"_ Harry thought absently, _"Could right about use his help no-"_ Suddenly, that's when it hit him. Harry smacked himself on the head for his sheer idiocy. How could he forget about _that?_ Quickly, Harry pulled out a familiar medallion. Like what Richtofen said, he pressed the two buttons that were above and below the emblem, as the symbol itself started rapidly spinning and blinking red, telling him that a signal had been sent out.

He really hoped Uncle Richtofen wasn't busy right now, he was in a near death situation at the moment.

That was when he heard it, and apparently Quirrell heard it too as he stopped firing and started looking around, as a familiar German shriek was heard across the room.

 **Several Minutes Previous**

 **Otoh Gunga, Naboo, 32 BBY, Star Wars Universe**

The once shining underwater, bubble like city of Otoh Gunga was now in a bad state of disrepair. Many of the hydrostatic bubbles had been penetrated and water had engulfed them, half the city had sunk, while the other half was almost completely ravaged. It seemed that the material that had been powering the entire city (spoilers: it was 115) had finally revealed it's effects after many years, many of the Gungans were now among the undead hordes, while only few held out. This was a new small project by Samantha, an undead army that specialised underwater was a tempting one, not entirely necessary, but tempting all the same.

Of course, whatever Samantha wanted to play with, 935 would have to destroy. As the reanimated corpses of the decaying humanoid species shambled about, a huge bang sounded across the city, as a giant blast of compressed air was fired, blowing away and tearing apart the undead aliens.

Out of the shadows, a human wearing a green marine uniform was holding a giant cannon shaped weapon, and a wide smile was plastered across his face. "Oorah! Take that you fucking undead platypus maggot sacks!" Dempsey shouted out with a sense of pride and satisfaction in his voice.

That is, before a gloved hand smacked him behind his head. Dempsey turned around with a scowl, to come face-to-face with a somewhat equally annoyed Richtofen. "Careful du dummkopf! Unless you vant millions of gallons of vater breaking zhrough zhis already fragile bubble, you should watch vhere you feur zhat zhing," Richtofen said in a pissed voice.

"Oh, i'm so sorry your Kraut Highness, i'll make sure to be more delicate in the future," Dempsey heatedly replied sarcastically. Richtofen sighed, rubbing his head. Why is, that in almost every mission, he would always be paired up with ficking Dempsey? Why can't he have Takeo or the drunk Russian once in a while.

"It's Doktor you idiotic Amerikaner, und i'm sorry, did I hurt your feewings?" Richtofen said mockingly in a baby voice. Dempsey simply scowled even more, a small snarl even being emitted.

Several hours ago, 935 HQ picked up a large amount of undead and 115 presence on the planet of Naboo: specifically underwater. Team Ultimis (Richtofen and Co's group) was sent to deal with that problem, and they had just arrived about an hour ago when they had been crowded by these zombies. Luckily the outbreak was relatively new, and was restricted to only one area with almost no possibility of the infection spreading to the city above, so this was going to mainly be a more come-kill-leave mission then one of those long term more secretive extermination operations. Those took months, and Richtofen plainly wasn't in the mood for that. So now, to cover more ground, the team had split in half to quicken the extermination process.

Usually Richtofen would be ecstatic at going out on the field again, however, he felt an aching feeling in him, because he had to leave one very important person his life: Harry. And he wasn't likely to see him again very soon. Gott how he missed that boy, how he was so eager to learn, so innocent yet so good at adapting new weapons and fighting techniques.

Takeo had felt the exact same, however he was better at hiding it then the mad doctor. Both were hoping that Harry was safe and was having a blast of a time at Hogwarts. Coming back to the present, Richtofen and Dempsey continued to walk down the damaged walkway, energy blasts everywhere, with blood, body parts, and other finger-licking good things littering it.

Soon, the two encountered a walkway that split off in two directions. Richtofen put up the holographic map he had borrowed from the Gungans. Well, if taking it from the dead corpse of a security guard was borrowing, it was just fine. Though he did feel he had to take responsibility for that a bit, after all, it wasn't the zombies that had gotten to him _("He startled me!" was Richtofen's excuse, no one was convinced)_

"Alright, so according to ze map, both zhese valkvays eventually meet up again at zhe end, so i'll take the right, you take zhe left, got it? Or is your brain to small to comprehend vhat I just said?" Richtofen said in a patronising tone, "Don't vorry, I understand, its common among you Amerikaner to have an IQ level lower zhen zero,"

Dempsey proceeded to walk up to Richtofen, grabbed hold of his uniform, and screamed out "FUCK YOU!" at the top of his lungs, before pushing him away and walking off along the left walkway, mumbling angrily as he left.

"Ah, mein little Blödmann* is growing," Richtofen said to himself fondly, wiping away a false tear, before laughing to himself and starting to walk down the right walk way.

That is, when suddenly a red light and high pitched whine was emitted from his wrist controller. Richtofen looked down at it with wide eyes, before cursing to himself. This could only mean one thing. "Damn it Harry! I've barely been gone!" Richtofen muttered to himself angrily, before taking out his holo-iphone and going into contacts. He finally settled on the contact labled 'Mein Little Yellow Freund,' and clicked on it, bringing the phone up to his ear as the beeps continued.

Finally, someone answered on the other end. "Herro?" a familiar Japanese voice said.

"Ah Takeo! I hope you aren't busy," Richtofen said in a jovial manner. Takeo grunted from the other side, the sound of flesh being torn about by metal on the outlines.

"Can we talk later Richtofen? I am in the middle," Takeo said, demonic shrieking sounding from the other side before being silenced by the dry sound of a blade slicing through bone, "Of something,"

"It's Harry, he's activated zhe emergency beacon," Richtofen said bluntly. There was a pause on the other side, besides the occasional zombie moan. Then there was a string of what Richtofen suspected were Japanese curses.

"I'm sorry, I don't speak Japanese."

"What did you do this time Richtofen?" Takeo accused through the phone

"Vhat? I didn't do scheisse!" Why did people always think he was the cause of these things? "I'm just as clueless as you are as to what's happened, but him lighting the beacon can only mean vhan zhing, he's in major trouble, ve need to rescue him, so are you in or are you out?"

There was another pause before Takeo replied again. "We are of too great a distance to regroup in time, it wirr be too late, Richtofen, you must go alone," Richtofen was about to interject, before he realised, Takeo was right. There would be no time for the two of them to meet and save Harry, it'd just take too long, and the targeting on the teleporter was a tad bit rusty, so it'd be too risky to try and teleport to Takeo.

"Richtofen?" Takeo asked after a moment of silence

"Very vell, I will go alone," Richtofen said with determination "Harry vill be safe, i'll make sure he will,"

Takeo sighed in relief. "Good, now go!"

"Jawohl," Richtofen nodded as he ended the call. Richtofen looked down at his wrist controller, and put in orders for the teleporter to target the location of the beacon signal. A minute later the teleporter had calculated the jump coordinates and was fully charged. Richtofen breathed in and out. _"Don't vorry, i'm coming Harry,"_ and with that, Richtofen pressed the ignition button, the German disappearing in a burst of light...

Meanwhile, a familiar American Marine was wondering where the hell his Fascist ally had gone to, as he switched from his Thundergun to a BAR to mow down the undead.

 **Present**

 **Mirror Room**

Richtofen had thought that perhaps his luck would hold up, that perhaps he would finally have a smooth landing. But that was only hoping, as he found himself reappearing just below a stone ceiling, and shrieked in fright as he plummeted down to the hard solid floor, dust dissipating around him from the impact. "Note to self, recalibrate ze teleporter later," he groaned in pain, popping his back into position and correcting his cap.

As he looked around, he found himself in a stone room with what seemed to be scorch marks all over the place. He then turned to see a robed man with what seemed to be the world's worst tumour on the back of his head. "Is ze Doktor interrupting somezhing?" Richtofen asked curiously.

"Uncle Richtofen!" a tiny voice exclaimed. Richtofen turned to see Harry covered in grime and dust, hiding behind a dangerously brittle pillar.

Richtofen replaced his face of confusion with a smile of happiness and relief. "Harry! Mein Gott, you had me worried!" Harry responded with a smile of his own.

"Wait a tick, Richtofen?" A voice behind Richtofen said. Richtofen turned to find himself facing (the normal face that is) the robed man once again, who had a face of confusion on him. Richtofen looked at him, did he know him? He did look vaguely familiar...wait.

"Squirrel?" Richtofen replied, Harry, despite the current situation, snickering from the name Edward had just called him.

Quirrell's expression turned from a face of confusion to one of anger. "It is you," Quirrell said with hatred.

Suddenly, a shrill voice resounded across the hall that came from...the tumour? What? "What are you waiting for you imbecile?! KILL THEM! KILL THEM BOTH!" Voldemort shrieked.

"Avada-" Quirrell started to chant, before Richtofen, seeing the immediate danger, raised his DG2 and fired a bolt of lightning, which Quirrell dodged. Richtofen continued to fire, slowly retreating towards Harry, with Quirrell continuing to dodge them with ease that Harry had never seen from the professor. Quirrell was definitely more then he seemed. Quirrell finally responded with a flurry of spells, Richtofen quickly jumping back to Harry and taking cover behind the pillar beside him.

"Harry! I only saw you a few months ago und you already get in zhis much trouble," Richtofen screamed over the spells. Harry looked down in shame before Richtofen finished, "I'm so proud of you! You're already becoming James, Gott Im Himmel, i'd prefer not to deal viz another,"

Harry smiled brightly before another spell impacted the pillar, Harry responding with a few shots from his PPK. "Damn! I never knew he was this good!" Harry exclaimed.

"Ja, he did tend to have his moments, und even before zhen he vas pretty blutig gut," Richtofen replied, as he flicked a switch, turning off his DG2.

Harry looked at Richtofen with confusion. "Wait... you know Professor Quirrell?"

"Professor? Huh, never zhought he had it in him," Richtofen said as he proceeded to cock his DG2, ejecting the cartridges (which sorta looked like light bulbs) off, "Anyvays, ja, ve spent some time exploring during mein time off, it vas a pretty zhin relationship, but both of us were good enough zhat ve didn't mind each other, of course, I can tell vhy he's angry,"

"Wait, what did you do to him?" Harry had heard enough of Richtofen's stories to know that something wrong probably happened. Richtofen flushed with embarrassment.

"Erm, I may or may not have left him in a cave full of zombies," Richtofen said nervously, finishing his reloading by attaching more cartridges onto the side and then flicking it back on, a high pitched whine and bright lights signifying that it was combat ready.

Harry was about to say something, but then thought about it, "That isn't that ba-"

"Zhe cave vas in Albania," Richtofen finished.

"Why would you do that!" Harry exclaimed outraged. Albania? Good luck going to the beach, or even having a proper swim!

"I'm sorry! It vas on accident, I sort of panicked und teleported avay," Richtofen said, "But i'm sure he vill have forgiven me by now, ve could talk un-"

"YOU'LL PAY FOR ALBANIA RICHTOFEN!" Quirrell screamed in the background, sending an explosive charm that nearly collapsed Richtofen's pillar, spreading dust and sand across all of them.

"-On second zhought, maybe not," Richtofen coughed out

"Well what do we do?" Harry asked, he wasn't sure his pillar was going to last much longer. Actually, it was a miracle it hadn't collapsed.

"Erm, I might have an idea, but it's not ze safest of zhings," Richtofen muttered, well, more like shouted indiscriminately over the incoming spells. "Zhen again, vhat's life vizout a bit of danger!"

Richtofen proceeded to grab the front of his DG2, and then twisted it to the right, the bulb on the back of the wonder weapon switching from glowing the usual yellow to blue. "Zhis is a prototype in ze early stages, so stay behind cover, alright?" Harry nodded and Richtofen gave a large smile, and then turned out of cover, pulling the trigger.

But instead of the usual lightning coming out, a large blue fluorescent shield appeared from it, covering the area in front of Richtofen, absorbing the incoming spells. Quirrell paused in surprise, and so did Voldemort (who I would expect could also see through Quirrell's eyes). What sort of magic was this? And produced from that strange muggle staff, he had to know!

"Ja! It vorks!" Richtofen declared with a laugh, Harry coming out of cover and looking at the shield with shock. _"Always thinking of new things, huh Uncle Richtofen,"_ Harry happily thought to himself.

"FIRE AT THE CEILING YOU FOOL! I WANT THAT STAFF!" Voldemort suddenly shrieked. Before anyone could react, Quirrell fired another explosive charm on top of the two, stones collapsing. Richtofen was lucky, only getting a few minor bruises, however Harry recieved a huge piece of a debris to the head, knocking him out cold.

Richtofen looked down at the unconscious Harry with shock, before turning back to Quirrellmort with rage. "Zhat's it Quirrell! You die!" Richtofen grabbed a stick grenade with his left hand, pulled out the pin, and then threw it at them. Quirrell jumped left, however the grenade exploded and blew Quirrellmort to the side.

While Quirrellmort tried to get back up, Richtofen switched the DG2 from it's shield mode back to it's gun mode. He then proceeded to turn a knob on the side of the DG2, which was titled _"Todlichkeit Niveau,"_ * _*_ and then turned it from Level 5 (Toten***) to Level 8 (Asche****). Aiming it at Quirrellmort, who had just recovered, Richtofen pulled the trigger, a flow of lighting rather then a burst coming out of the wonder weapon, heading straight for Quirrellmort.

Quirrellmort summoned a shield to block the lightning, however it simply went right through the shield, shattering it instantly upon impact via sheer force. Quirrell looked on with wide eyes as the lightning made contact, spreading across his entire body, both Quirrell and Voldemort screaming in agony. Richtofen once again had his blood-lust smile on. "ZHAT'S RIGHT! DIE!" a half crazed laugh following suit.

Quirrellmort continued to be covered in flowing lightning, before suddenly his entire body started disintegrating. Soon, there was only a pile of ash left. Richtofen smiled with a glee as he cocked his DG2, ejecting the empty cartridges. He'd rarely used anything above level 5, and it was still glorious to use it. However, his smile disappeared when the pile of ash started to stir, and then suddenly a face jumped out from it, Richtofen instinctively jumping to the side, the ashy wraith flying out of the entrance with a shriek.

Richtofen recovered and stood back up, swiping the dust off his uniform. Damn it, his department was reanimated or infected corpses/entities, not ghosts! That belonged to the Spirit Department, and those weird science guys who wore firemen outfits. _"Und I zhought never cross ze streams vas some sexual innuendo,"_ ya, that had been an awkward conversation.

Richtofen looked around to try and find his DG2 which he had dropped when he dodge the wraith. He soon found it on the ground: in pieces. It seems that the strain from using both the shields and the higher level lethality, along with being dropped on the ground, finally strained the poor wonder weapon too much. _"Zhis is going to be an ass to fix,"_ Richtofen thought to himself, before suddenly remembering something.

Where was Harry?

Richtofen looked around, before spotting Harry, panically rushing over to him. Please be alive, please be alive, please be alive! Richtofen sighed in relief when he felt Harry's pulse. That was a relief! Richtofen was about to revive Harry with his wand, however, he quickly stopped. Richtofen could only suspect that there were most likely wards around here, and he really didn't want to leave his magical signature here by casting magic. Richtofen placed his wand back in his holster, and then took out a piece of paper and a pen.

Quickly writing on it, he put it in an envelope, stuffed it in one of Harry's pockets and then put Harry's PPK back in it's holster. Just in time too, for just as Richtofen stood back up, he heard the very vague footsteps of someone, most likely a teacher or something. Richtofen quickly primed his teleporter, and was about to get out, however something caught his eye.

The mirror in the middle of the room.

It was pretty obvious that the inscription on the mirror said 'desire,' and Richtofen deducted that it most likely showed what you desired. Richtofen's curiosity won out in the end, and he approached the mirror.

As he got closer, he saw the mirror seem to pause, before creating a very vague image. It seemed to be him, but beside him was a silhouette of what seemed like a small child (girl?). Before the image could clear further, the mirror seemed to crack and split into four quarters, each showing what seemed like their own individual incomplete images, before the entire mirror completely shattered.

Richtofen looked wide eyed, before shrugging. That was to be expected with his...unique condition.

Richtofen turned back towards Harry, the shattered mirror forgotten. "Goodbye Harry, zhough seeing from your luck, perhaps i'll be back soon enough," Richtofen muttered with a smile, "Hopefully not,"

And with that, Richtofen teleported away, the shriek and the light from his jump dissipating, just as a familiar old wizard walked in casually.

 **Otoh Gunga**

Richtofen appeared in a flash of light: 20 feet off the ground. Richtofen shrieked once again as he slammed face first onto the cold hard floor. Alright! He really need to recalibrate the teleporter.

As he stood back up a bit unstably, he fixed his nose with a _crack!_ Wincing as it popped back into position. Richtofen looked around. Alright, it didn't seem the rest of the team had destroyed the city while he was gone.

Suddenly, he felt someone forcefully turn him around, and then felt a fist smash right into his face. In front of the once again nose broken Richtofen was a bloodied and very angry Tank Dempsey, his clothes shredded. "WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU? YOU NAZI CUNT!" He screamed in rage.

"Ugh, not having a broken nose," Richtofen mumbled as he popped his nose back into position again, this time there was a lot of blood flowing out of his nostrils. Dempsey glared hatefully at Richtofen.

"Woah, alright, I vas just vondering around, okay? Ze usual," Richtofen said with his arms up in surrender. To the common person, this would be a bad excuse, but Richtofen had done such a thing so many times to Dempsey that the marine simply accepted it as a daily occurrence. Dempsey growled, before turning back around. "Fine, i've killed all the undead maggots in this area, let's just get back to Takeo and Nikolai." Dempsey said tiredly, yet still with contempt.

Richtofen nodded warily, and the two started walking side by side. Dempsey looked over at Richtofen again, noticing the dust on his uniform and the broken DG2 that was strapped onto his back. "What the hell happened to you?" Dempsey asked.

"Meh, I tripped," Richtofen shrugged. Dempsey raised an eyebrow, before simply shrugging as well, and continuing to walk.

As they continued to walk, Richtofen wielding an MP40 and Dempsey with a BAR (his Thundergun had run out of ammo), they soon found themselves on the edge of their current bubble, by what seemed like a docking area, where they soon encountered Takeo (with a Type 100) and Nikolai (with a PPSh-41). "So, how did your operation go?" Dempsey asked the two seemingly less damaged men.

"I gunned down hell pigs with Ray Gun! But then hell pig ate ray gun, so I used Sasha instead," Nikolai replied. Takeo massaged his template.

"What Nikolai-Kun means is that, yes, all the demons have been returned to the underworld," Takeo said, "However, the Russian's ray gun was damaged by one of the demons during the fight,"

Both Richtofen and Dempsey got the vague idea over their still hard to interpret way of speaking. Just as Richtofen was going to open his mouth, when footsteps were heard behind him. The team turned to look onto a large group of Gungans who looked worse for wear, but still alive. One of the Gungans approached the group.

"Yousa hisen saved de Otoh Gunga frome de berry evil monstas!" The Gungan said, "Wesa wante to giva de reward, but wesa nosa have credits, how can wesa repay yousa-"

Suddenly, the gungan was interrupted by a rain of bullets as all four men unloaded their guns full auto into the crowd. Panicked shouts and screams once again echoed across the dead city as lead mercilessly tore through the entire crowd. A minute later, the entire group was dead, bleeding on the ground with holes riddled all over each body.

Meanwhile, the four men took out their empty clips and reloaded their guns. "I do not think that was very necessary," Takeo commented.

"Hey, you started firing too," Dempsey snorted. Takeo glared at Dempsey.

"Onry because there was some sort of evil that I sensed from inside those beings!"

"Heh, I felt a tingling sensation too...felt like 4th wife after long day," Nikolai chuckled, both Takeo and Dempsey cringing at the thought of Nikolai having a...tingling sensation.

"Hey, I zhink ve can all agree, zhat vhatever zhose were," Richtofen said, gesturing to the massacred remains of the dead gungans, "Ze multiverse is probably better off vizout zhem,"

The rest of team Ultimis nodded and made sounds of agreement. "This calls for celebration!" Nikolai exclaimed happily, as he popped open a bottle of vodka. Dempsey rolled his eyes, but had a slight smirk on his face. Meanwhile, Takeo leaned over to Richtofen.

"How is Harry?" Takeo asked.

"Just fine, he got a little concussion, but he's overall fine," Richtofen shrugged, Takeo breathing out a sigh of relief. After about a few minutes of breathing time, and a fairly drunk Nikolai, Richtofen looked down at his wrist controller.

"Alright, teleporter is fully charged, everyone grab hold on me und ve can get ze fick out of he-" Richtofen said, before being interrupted by a very familiar shriek. Team Ultimis once again turned to see another gungan, this one's ears and head were a pinkish red. Takeo cringed at the amount of evilness that he could sense from this being. It was as if the being was the most diabolical entity existance, surely to be scorned and hated by all, not only in the multiverse, but everywhere in general.

"Wasa yousa do to Otoh Gunga?" The evil being shrieked, "Did yousa do dis? Oh nosa! Dis mue, mue ba-"

Before the evil entity could continue to speak it's unholy tongue, the entire group once again opened fire upon it with war cries and no mercy. The corrupted being yelped and shrieked in pain and agony as bullets tore through it. As the team finished their clips, the being still loosely stood. The entire team reloaded with extremely fast determination and continued to open fire upon the some how still living being, who continued to shriek. Dempsey proceeded to throw a grenade at the being, which exploded and lifted it off it's feet, the entity screaming the entire way as it landed on the platform with a thump, not too far away.

Nikolai took out an axe and charged in alongside Dempsey (shovel), Takeo (katana) and Richtofen (dagger) as they pounced upon the some how still breathing demon, hacking, slashing and beating it relentlessly. Finally, after about a minute, the ungodly gungan was now simply a few limbs on the floor, with blood, gore and organs spread across. To be safe, Nikolai lit a molotov cocktail and threw it onto it's remains, burning it into ashes. "Burn in hell, devilish monster," Nikolai said with a dark voice.

Then there was another sound, a _snap-hiss,_ that echoed across the room, then another, as the group turned to two men wearing brown robes, one young with a braid and an older one with long hair, a beard and moustache, both soaking and holding what looked like plasma blades.

"Who are you?" the older one demanded.

"Verdammt, ve don't have time for zis, grab onto me!" Richtofen quickly said, as the other three members quickly latched onto Richtofen, and disappeared in a blinding flash of light, leaving two soaking Jedi.

Both Jedi had dumbfounded looks upon their faces, as both soon deactivated their lightsabers. "Master, what was that? And what was the scream in the Force?" Obi-Wan asked, "I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, but then, those same voices exclaimed in relief, as if a great evil had passed by,"

"I am afraid I cannot answer either question Padawan," Qui-Gon replied calmly, "However, I think that we can confirm that whatever those four men had done, was for the better of the Galaxy, whether they knew it or not,"

Obi-Wan nodded in silent agreement, as they simply stood in the completely abandoned city, which still somehow had a completely fine submarine docked. Suddenly Obi-Wan spoke up. "Master? Where's Jar Jar?" he asked as the two Jedi contemplated on top of a pile of ashes.

 **Medical Wing, Hogwarts, Scotland, June 8th, 1992**

The last thing Harry saw before darkness claimed him was a large piece of the ceiling smashing on him. And as he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was the white, sterile walls of the medical wing.

He also nearly jumped at the sight of the creepy old man that swam into view. Oh, no wait, it was just Dumbledore.

Why didn't assure him as much as it should've?

"Good Afternoon Harry," said Dumbledore, with his usual reassuring smile and sparkling eyes. Suddenly, Harry remembered what had happened the last time he was conscious.

"Sir! The Stone! It was Quirrell! He's got the Stone! Sir, quick-"

"Calm yourself, dear boy, you are a little behind the times," said Dumbledore. "Quirrell does not have the Stone." Soon after this they talked about how Quirrell was dead, how the stone was now destroyed, how the Flamels would die, how Voldemort was still out there (waiting to share another body apperantly...ugh), how Quirrell couldn't touch him because of love apperantly (so what? Am I going to have to hump Voldie to death?), how Snape was apparently indebted to him, and how Harry could get the stone out because he didn't actually want to use it.

Soon, Harry noticed how he wasn't wearing his uniform, but rather something else. Harry could still feel both his ring and his gun holster (thank God for those), but was curious as to where his other items were. "Sir? Where did you put the items I had with me?"

Dumbledore's expression changed for a split second before going back to his usual smile, but it was just long enough that Harry could witness the slight frown that had adorned his face for that small amount of time.

"Ah! Yes, all belongings that were on your possession at the time are by your bed side table, right over there," Dumbledore gestured to the table by Harry's bed. Harry looked over to the table, and found, with relief, his 935 medallion and a letter. Strange, he didn't remember having that on his person at that time.

"Though I do find it quite odd that no matter what we could not remove that ring from you finger, It seemed to have quite the powerful sticking charms," Dumbledore said, "I am also curious about that strange medallion you were wearing, would you be willing to indulge an old man's curiosity Harry?"

Harry bit his lip, thinking of an excuse, before replying. "I...the medallion was given to me by an uncle of mine as a gift, and I found the ring in my trust vault while at Gringotts, and thought it would be a nice accessory,"

A silence endured for a small amount of time before Dumbledore finally nodded to Harry, realising that he wasn't going to get anything else out of the boy. "Very well Harry, Madam Pomfrey has told me that you should be fully recovered and released in a few hours by evening, get well soon Harry," and with that Dumbledore got up from the bed and walked out of the room.

With no one looking, Harry quickly picked up the ordinary letter and took out a short message that had been quickly yet neatly written.

 _Dear Harry,_

 _If you're reading this, then you'll have probably found yourself in either a hospital, or a creepy sex dungeon held by that Headmaster of yours. Have to admit, not sure why I added that, but this is in pen, so I can't exactly erase it, now can I?_

 _Anyways, i'm just fine, I made it out alright after we beat Quirrell. Have to admit, never thought you'd get in that much trouble that quickly, but then again, you're your father's son. But, I digress, make sure to clean your PPK, and remember your medallion, if you're in anymore trouble, make sure to contact me._

 _From: Uncle Richi_

 _P.S: I've put a few extra magazines with the envelope, keep well stocked_

Harry smiled and took out the extra clips that were in the envelope. He looked around to see if anyone was there, and then quickly put them in the ammo compartment in his holster, before resting against his bed, happy that Uncle Richtofen had made it out okay.

 **A Few Minutes Later**

 **Headmaster's Office**

Dumbledore sat in front of his desk, contemplating recent events. Things had gone according to plan overall, with Harry stopping Voldemort from getting the stone, however, the body seemed to be surrounded with secrets and unanswered questions.

A starter was the amount of owls he actually had to send to get to Harry. It was odd that the Owls constantly didn't return, having him to send more letters. Of course, he didn't give up, and ended up sending almost the entire Hogwarts Owl population in an attempt to get to the boy. It cost him a pretty knut to replace all those owls. He had been about to send one of the teachers to see what was wrong, before, finally, an owl had reappeared, but had appeared bloody and constantly shaking, before collapsing. The poor thing died from exhaustion an hour later.

Then there was the Troll. With the amount of magical potential he knew Harry to hold, he expected him to beat the Troll, but he hadn't expected him to kill it! Even with that amount of power, it was extremely unlikely that a first year student that hadn't learned even the most basic of offensive spells could kill a fully grown mountain Troll. And yet Snape had told him that the Troll in question had been killed, a massive hole in its eye that went right through, exiting the back if its head. The only clue as to what happened was the fact that a copper case and a bit of lead had been found on the floor. Snape had analysed it and said that it was laced with a bit of explosive powder.

Another thing was the state of the boy himself, Dumbledore had specifically picked the Dursley's to soften him up to the point where he could easily manipulate the boy. He was supposed to come to Hogwarts a starved boy, both emotionally and physically, following his orders like a dog. But Harry appeared as healthy as ever, as well as happy as ever and not as surprised.

But perhaps the oddest things were what Harry had brought with him, including that medallion and ring. The medallion looked particularly well made and polished, yet he was sure the Dursley's would never give Harry something like it. And the fact the ring (which was, strangely enough, enchanted) had an advanced sticking charm that even he couldn't take it out said it came from a powerful designer, and he had made sure that there were no artefacts in the trust vault.

To get answers, he had tried to enter Harry's mind, however, when he met the door...lets just say he was never attempting Legilimency on the boy for quite sometime. And that was another thing, how did he have such powerful mental protections in the first place?! But, after all this, he could track it to perhaps one suspect, the man from the letter, named Uncle Richi. Before Harry had woken up, Dumbledore had found the letter in his pocket, and opened it, finding out about this mystery man. He had also found the same casings from the bathroom in these "magazines" he had talked about, proving that he was the one providing whatever Harry had used. He didn't remove any however, for it might've aroused suspicion from Harry.

Obviously Richi was short for another name, perhaps Richiard or Richison, however, he had not memory of anyone whatsoever even remotely related to that name. But whoever he was, he seemed to be the source of all his problems, and Dumbledore didn't like problems that hindered his plans. He would track down this Richtofen, learn his secrets, and make sure to get him out of Harry's life, so to be able to finally shape Harry into the perfect tool.

For the Greater Good of course, Dumbledore thought as he sucked on a Lemon Drop.

==================================0o0o0================================

 **Harry's Mental Landscape**

Snape banged his head mentally against the mental door. Throughout the entire year, he had used every mental technique, every mental tool, even inventing new ones. And he still couldn't get through this BLASTED DOOR! The stress had been gobbling at him through the entire process, mocking him, making him lose his mind. Well fine! He wasn't going to play this sick mental game! He wasn't going to be some lab rat! He was done! Finished! He didn't even want to see the most likely disgusting, perverted, sick mind of Harry James Potter!

Just as he was about to exit the mental landscape, something caught his eye. Just below the door knob, there was an extremely obvious bronze, even shining, sign. As he looked further, he could make out the words.

PULL TO OPEN

Snape looked at the sign for a few seconds, before he face palmed. Of course! It was obvious! That boy was obviously an evil genius! With that, Snape slowly put his hand mentally on the mental knob, turned it, and then pulled.

There was a click, as the door opened outwards.

Hope swelled in Snape as he opened the door further. Finally! After all these months of hardship, he would finally realise what the hell the Potterbrat had been thinking! Not wanting to wait further, Snape threw the door opened, a devious smile on his lips.

Only for it to turn into a wide open mouth, his jaw mentally hitting the ground. For passed the door that had caused him so much suffering, so much pain, was a room.

With 3 identical doors.

Three doors. Three identical doors. Three identical doors that most likely had the same amount of durability as the first. Three identical doors that protected the brat's mind. Three identical doors that most likely lead to a maze of more identical doors. Three doors that laughed at him.

Suddenly, Snape started to chuckle, it started out as a chuckle, but then slowly grew into a mad laugh. The room howled with crazed laughter, which then slowly turned into enraged screams, echoing across the entire mental landscape.

Severus Tobias Snape, master legilimens, feared potion master of Hogwarts, would never dare to enter the mental landscape of one Harry James Potter ever again.

 **Great Hall, Hogwarts, Scotland, June 8th, 1992**

Harry clutched his head in irritation. This screaming in his head just kept going on for what seemed like an hour but turned out to only be a minute or so. Damn, he should really visit a doctor or something, these headaches were seemingly getting worse. Anyways, Harry started to reflect on the school year that had just gone by. Bloody Hell was it insane! When he asked for an exciting year he hadn't asked for this! Either he just had bad luck, or fate just enjoyed seeing him suffer.

But, it wasn't all bad, he made a few friends, something he hadn't had for a long time, he'd learned magic, something he'd wanted to do since Richtofen told him about it. And finally, but most important to him, he'd been able to reunite with Uncle Richtofen! Though he wished Uncle Takeo was with him too.

"I believe a change in decoration is in order!" A voice called out, snapping Harry out of his trance. Suddenly, wind seemed to blow into the hall, and the dreadful green banners of Slytherin were replaced with that of Gryffindor red.

"Gryffindor wins the house cup!" Dumbledore declared loudly.

The entire hall burst out into cheers, well, all except Slytherin.

Oh right! They'd won the House Cup too! Just now! Wow! " _Who knew breaking the rules would actual benefit you."_ Harry thought to himself as he stood up and clapped alongside the rest of the hall.

As hats were thrown, and Harry was surrounded by students, thanking him for the win, he looked over to the table. Hagrid was smiling and clapping along with the rest of the students, giving Harry an (totally not rapey) approving and proud look. Mcgonagall had a similar proud look and Snape looked extremely livid. The proud looks and Snape's misfortune made Harry smile and chuckle.

But then Harry also spotted one other teacher. Dumbledore himself had what seemed like a happy smile, but in his eyes, Harry saw something more, something that dimmed Harry's smile just a tad bit. It was as if Dumbledore was analysing his every move, as if Harry was hiding some sort of secret and he wanted it desperately.

Now that was disturbing, but it was no matter at the moment, as Harry celebrated along with his peers.

Next year was surely going to be interesting...perhaps maybe just a little more calm though hopefully?

 **A/N: *Asshole**

 ****"Lethal Level,"**

 *****Kill**

 ******Ash**

And here's another chapter! Now, some of you extremely diehard Harry Potter fans might find that I have, at times, mixed book lines with movie lines, well, that's just because occasionally, the current situation of the story fits better with one of the other, so you may see me doing that. I'm sorry if I skipped over a lot of dialogue or content from the original book or film, however i'm trying to make this as "shortish long," as I can, since this is supposed to just be a sort of summary for what happens in Year 1 (with humour).

I'd also like to say that there are at least two references in this chapter, kudos to any that find them.

Anyways, here are the review replies:

 **Guest-** Ya, Dumbledore's definitely not going to have the most stress-free of times

 **Witch King Mdr-** Yay! You got it! And the second one was intentional, for anyone who hasn't got it: read the titles. And I just love Doctor Who so much, that i'm probably still going to add more references in the future

 **raigalcc-** I'm happy that you found this story to be good, hopefully the next chapter will not take as long

 **ProngsPotter22-** Thank you! I hope I do not disappoint in the future

Anyways, hope you enjoyed, make sure to favourite, follow, and just enjoy the story! Until next time, Auf Wiersehen!

* * *

 **Omakes**

* * *

 **Continuing: 100 Ways to Die in Abracadavre!**

 **6\. Getting on the wrong train (apologies if you find this offensive)**

As Harry and Ron continued to converse, they eventually got to Ron's specific traits. "So, never thought i'd see so many Gingers on one train," Harry said.

"Yeah, I mean, our family's half Jewish bu-" Ron replied before being interrupted by Harry

"Wait, did you say half Jewish?"

"Yeah, why?"

Harry suddenly gave Ron a hate filled glare. "Oh, nothing, besides the fact you got on the wrong train mate,"

Confused, Ron was about to question Harry, before Harry suddenly lifted up his bangs, revealing 2 identical lightning bolt scars beside each other. Ron blanched, before suddenly the cabin door opened, revealing 3 men wearing Black SS uniforms. Two of them grabbed Ron who had been scrambling to jump out the window, dragging him out of the cabin kicking and screaming.

"Wirf ihn mit dem rest von ihnen," The last one said before directing himself to Harry, "Ich hoffe, sie genießen den rest ihrer reise Herr Obersturmführer, Sieg Heil." The SS officer saluted before leaving the cabin, closing the door behind him, leaving a satisfied Harry. Suddenly, a voice from the speakers started speaking.

(Throw him with the rest of them)

(I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip Herr Obersturmführer, Sieg Heil)

"Wir werden in zehn minuten in Auschwitz Bahnhof ankommen, bitte nehmen Sie alles mit," The speaker boomed, Harry putting on an officer cap with a deaths head imbedded on it, while also taking out a Luger, "Das Reichsverkehrsministerium und die Deutsche Reichsbahn haften nicht für den verlust von sachen während der reise, danke für ihre zeit."

(We will arrive in Auschwitz train station in ten minutes, please take everything with you)

(The Reich Ministry of Transport and the German Reichsbahn are not liable for the loss of things during the trip, thank you for your time)

As the train zoomed off towards the distant Death Camp of Auschwitz-Birkenau, Richtofen was on a cliff, spotting Harry with his binoculars.

"Oh, zey grow up so fast," Richtofen muttered fondly.

* * *

 **7\. Fighting a monster with no real combat experience**

As Ron was hit by the Troll's club, smashing into the wall **(8. Breaking your neck..and probably more)** , Harry took out his PPK, but not before he was grabbed by the Troll in question, and brought before its eye level. "Do not worry! I graduated with full honours from Stormtrooper Academy!" **(7.5. Graduating from Stormtrooper Academy, like I said, no real combat experience)** Harry said confidently as he aimed the gun right at the Troll's head, only a few inches away.

But as he fired, the bullet seemed to go in the completely different direction somehow, flying all over the place before hitting a screaming Hermione in the head ( **9\. Being shot in the head by a bullet from the barrel of your best guy's gun)**. Harry looked down at Hermione's now slumped body (who had been in the completely different direction), and then back at the still living Troll. "Well," Harry said, "At least I hit something,"

Harry screamed in terror as he was brought inside the mouth of the Troll, and the teeth chomped down. **(10. Bad Breath)**


	6. Update

**Hi! Yes, I know, this isn't a new chapter, and as I am myself an avid fanfic reader, I know how horribly annoying it is to see this story on the top of your followers or favourite list, think "Yay! New Chapter!" only for it not to be. And I just hate those, which is why I've taken so long to make this update.**

 **But I felt that I just had to explain myself, cause I never actually expected this story to get nearly 50 or so favourites and follows, and I just got to say thank you to all those who did so and felt guilty for not doing anything and leave you guys to rot.**

 **The truth of the matter is a mix of two things, one: schedule. School. Is. Hell, is what I got to say. There's just piles and piles of homework all the time, and since I'm a pathological procrastinator, I tend to leave them till the last second, which leads to my schedules being pretty blood filled.**

 **The second is that I simply lost my motivation. This story was sort of a spur in the moment, tell you the truth, and I had, and still have, high hopes for it. It's just that my inspiration and motivation for CoD Zombies and such had just finally fallen after those few months of still having something to move me forwards, and after that I just stopped. Initially I tried writing demos and drafts for other potential story ideas, but eventually, I just lost motivation for those too.**

 **Now I'm not abandoning the story, I really don't want to. I just need to get back up on my feet regarding motivation, inspiration and actually doing my school work on time. Thanks to ya'll who are still here, awaiting the next chapter.**

 **Now I'm not going to say when the next chapter is coming out, cause to be blunt I don't know when. At the same time, I don't really want to put this story on hiatus, but we'll see how it goes.**

 **To quote General MacArthur, "I shall return," one day, I promise, I will.**

 **But for now, as always, Auf Wiedersehen!**


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